Ovulation, conception anxiety and a suffering sex life... dup post

[Anonymous]

This is a duplicate post... I asked this in the TTC Discussion and Support forum as well.

The first question I have is regarding ovulation. Each month around the time of ovulation, I get one heavy discharge. Do you think this occurs BEFORE ovulation or AFTER ovulation? Should we be trying when I feel the discharge building up or after it has been passed?

The second question I have is around the anxiety of trying to get pregnant again. How do you cope? We are blessed with our now two-year-old child and I want to start trying for another baby (my husband isn't entirely on board with the timing yet- he wants to wait until the summer so the baby will be born next spring, but I am 37 and I already agreed to wait until our baby turned two.) As soon the idea of speeding up the timing was out there, I started feeling anxious about trying to conceive again. It took us two years to conceive our son and his conception was an absolute fluke - I must have ovulated twice that month (I was using a fertility monitor) because I got pregnant one week before I should have gotten my period (the conception was memorable because it was the first time we had had spontaneous sex in a very, very, very long time.) I think that anxiety was part of the reason why it took us so long the last time, but so was the mechanical conception sex that damaged our previously very healthy sex-life.

Lastly, our sex life is still just limping along three years later so how do I kick it back into gear? Between the passionless conception sex, limited sexual activity during a somewhat problematic pregnancy, postpartum vaginal discomfort and the fact that I am heavier, saggier and mushier than I was before I got pregnant (my issue, not his) we have sex maybe twice a month. I don't want my husband is to feel like a means to an end if I start coming onto him twice a week now... he is a fabulous father and a wonderful husband but I feel like we've lost our zing.

I feel like I can't talk to anyone about this, so thanks for reading and sharing your thoughts with me.

Best,
KD

[Anonymous]

Go read the book Taking Charge of Your Fertility. This book is highly recommended and will really help you out answering all of these questions and more.