Not drinking in college?

[Anonymous]

Does anyone else have a child who is nervous for the whole binge-drinking aspect of college? DS is not a drinker and is not someone who looks down at those who do, but getting drunk every weekend, partying, etc. just is not his idea of fun. He's a friendly, funny, interesting and sarcastic guy (and I'm not just saying that because I'm his mom), but His group of friends in high school is more the type to have movie marathons or hike or volunteer or play Apples to Apples on the weekend -ie more along the lines of "clean fun" - and I think he's nervous he's not going to be able find "his people" in college or looked down upon because he's not really interested in doing the partying thing all the time.

Any words of wisdom?

[Anonymous]

He ail be fine and find the right group.

[Anonymous]

He will find his crowd at college. He can transfer if he cannot. Lots of folks transfer. Do not worry.

[Anonymous]

I didn't drink in college. I wasn't particularly interested in frat parties and didn't bother with those. But I socialized; went to parties where there was quite a bit of drinking, but I felt comfortable not drinking. I was never given a hard time for it.

I was active in lots of different groups. Depending on where your DS is going there will be probably be sports (teams and intramural), clubs for volunteering or based on specific interests like Spanish, chess. He'll meet people in classes, study groups, dorm, etc.

It's not all based on the drinking. If he gets any crap from someone, it's b/c they feel insecure. I know this is trite but true.

[Anonymous]

You're not required to binge drink in college. Even if your friends do! People are cool about other people not drinking. It will be a non-issue.

[Anonymous]

He will find people who like to do what he does. He should seek out and participate in those activities. If he drinks at all, he can nurse a drink all night. I'm NOT saying he has to drink- but if he does, he can drink some and it's not a big deal.

I drank more my freshman fall than any other time. While there was probably some indirect peer pressure, it was never outward, and people hung out with us (while drinking) who weren't and it was fine.

[Anonymous]

I was/am much like your son and I did fine. I found lots of people who were like me, and we had great fun and great times in college without drinking, going to frat parties, etc.
Good luck to your son!

[Anonymous]

My ds is at Stanford and while he'll have a beer here or there he's not a drinker. He had no problem finding his people. Not everyone wants to get trashed.

[Anonymous]

My daughter has never been to a party with more than 10+ people.

I'm a nervous wreck for her in college.

[Anonymous]

Find a college that is situated in a real city so there's more to do than just drink and go to parties.

[Anonymous]

I didn't drink a lick and found a great group of friends and had a great time.

[Anonymous]

If he confident about his choices he'll be just fine. It's the kids who need to impress others who can get a little lost.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Find a college that is situated in a real city so there's more to do than just drink and go to parties.

this - drinking is exacerbated in non-urban colleges.

[Anonymous]

If she is at a party where there is drinking, she should still get a red solo cup and pout some soda/water in it. Students are more likely to harass someone who is not drinking anything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Find a college that is situated in a real city so there's more to do than just drink and go to parties.

this - drinking is exacerbated in non-urban colleges.

Not really. It is just isn't hidden like in urban colleges. They have to throw a party instead of going clubbing. In both environments you can find a cadre of friends who match your interests.