Did you have a "good/happy childhood? How did/does that affect your adult life?

[Anonymous]

Subject says it all. If you consider your childhood was a happy one, how does that impact your adult life? And how?
On the other hand if you didn't, how does that affect your life as an adult, if at all? And how?

[Anonymous]

I had a very happy early childhood, but a very difficult adolescence, due to a deliberately isolating and "overprotective" (borderline abusive) mother and absent father. I think about it every day of my life as a parent, as an example of how one's parenting has to evolve over time, to gently foster independence in one's children and eventually let them go.

As a result of my isolation, I was totally unprepared for the practical things in life, and was socially backward. It affected my choice of spouse and my self-esteem. I ran away from my parents to America to start a new life with DH, and after a steep learning curve, we are now living a happy normal life.

Perhaps my mother doesn't even realize that her actions made me put the whole Atlantic ocean between us. Strange.

[Anonymous]

I was very happy until age 5. After that terrible things happened to me and my family. I have worked hard to give my children a happy, carefree childhood.

[Anonymous]

I had a wonderful childhood. Parents were loving towards us as well as each other. We did not have a lot of money, but we had enough that we were able to enjoy life. Spent a lot of time as a family doing fun activities. If there was any turmoil, my parents did a good job at shielding it from us.

I am currently very happy in my life. Loving husband, great kids, happy with my job, nice home, and money in the bank.

[Anonymous]

Horrible and childfree because of it.

[Anonymous]

I had a great childhood. My siblings and I (there are lots of us) all grew up to have decent careers, marry great people, and generally do well in life. That's not to say there haven't been challenges (we lost a parent when we were in early adulthood, among other things) but my parents raised us to enjoy life, be kind to others, and make the best of situations and ithat has served us well both as kids and adults.

All of us have multiple children of our own, are raising them similarly to how we were raised, and enjoy spending time together.

[Anonymous]

Good childhood. Normal issues growing up - sometimes pushed the limits with my folks, but siblings and I all got along. We also were not wealthy, but had all we needed for a healthy upbringing. Parents valued education, strong values, and personal responsibility.
Today - strong long-lasting marriage, great kids, not rich, but not poor, and enjoying life immensely.
I also do not take my luck of birth lightly. I know there are millions who were not as fortunate as I and I do what I can to help those who are less fortunate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
I had a very happy early childhood, but a very difficult adolescence, due to a deliberately isolating and "overprotective" (borderline abusive) mother and absent father. I think about it every day of my life as a parent, as an example of how one's parenting has to evolve over time, to gently foster independence in one's children and eventually let them go.

As a result of my isolation, I was totally unprepared for the practical things in life, and was socially backward. It affected my choice of spouse and my self-esteem. I ran away from my parents to America to start a new life with DH, and after a steep learning curve, we are now living a happy normal life.

Perhaps my mother doesn't even realize that her actions made me put the whole Atlantic ocean between us. Strange.

OP here: interesting that this was the first reply that I got, cause I could have written this post myself. Though, from a distance (maybe because of it), my mom and now have a great relationship.

[Anonymous]

I thought I did. I did not realize until a teenager how bad it was. My parents have been a great example of what not to do. I have not talked to my mother in almost 15 years.

My oldest is only 2.5 and already I have done so many things differently with her than my parents did with me, and she and I are so much closer than I ever was with my mother.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Horrible and childfree because of it.

Horrible and I have one child and I have been to hell and back learning what a parent is and does, and how I can actually be worthwhile enough to be a part of this particular child's life. Every day is a huge struggle but I love her so much.

[Anonymous]

Conflict-ridden childhood and conflict-ridden adulthood. My sister and I just talked about this today in fact. Parents never showed any affection to us or to each other. I'm in a marriage that is very so-so and I have just a ton of inner turmoil. I'm constantly wondering how I'm f-ing up my kid. But thankfully, I really don't think I am. I must hug her 10 times a day, tell her I lover her constantly to the point where I sometimes annoy her, and layer on loads of affection. So I hope she'll be OK. I no longer think I'll ever have an affectionate marriage, but whatever.

[Anonymous]

I had a dysfunctional family life. My parents never showed affection towards each other. My father had/has untreated mental health issues/depression. My mother was/is a weak person. She always acted like a victim and didn't shield us kids from my dads almost daily rants. We were provided for well, and education was the top priority, so it wasn't all bad. But as a child, I would pray that my dad wouldn't scream or embarrass us. I hoped they would divorce, but would never happen because my mom is too weak, and divorce wasn't "acceptable" cultural.

I worry every day that I'm ruining my kids. My husband is a jerk, and there's no affection between us. I show my kids lots of affection, and I hope they know how much I love them. I will eventually divorce my jackass husband.

I can't say how much my childhood affected my life now, but I can't say I was very happy then, or now.

[Anonymous]

Good in the early years bad as a teen, my dad went insane (seriously).

I don't know how it has shaped me. I don't have a "control" to compare myself against. I also don't dwell on things. Over all I consider myself optimistic, I'm happy with my DH, and I hope to inhabit this planet for at least a century. I do consciously try to be a better parent than mine were. More from a live and learn aspect.

[Anonymous]

I wish I could say I had a happy childhood, but the opposite is true. My parents were horrible. They divorced before I even started school. My dad was not in my life. My mom treated me like I was a freak and a treated my older brothers like they were perfect. She dragged me to all kinds of therapists and said I don't know what's wrong with her, I don't understand her. At home I would cry and beg her to listen to me and she would tell me to go to bed or not now. My brothers were mean to me too. I ran away in my early teen years and then she sent me to foster care. There's more, but I won't get into it, it's too horrific.

Now as an adult, I don't have much of a relationship with my parents. Currently not speaking to my mom. Talk to my dad every once in a while. See them about twice a year. My marriage isn't good, my husband has zero respect for me and is mad at me 70% of the time, we don't fight much, but we don't talk to each other either. I have one child and he is actually perfect. I can't imagine him going through any of what I went through. He is pretty happy nearly all the time. I hope when he is an adult he will consider his childhood good and happy. I try to have traditions with him and create fun memories. I let him have friends over and I treat his friends good when they are here. I take him swimming, to the park, to do things like art and nature, I read with him, I'm involved with his school, I watch movies and shows with him, play games with him, and generally try to show him I'm interested in him and care. He does have rules and boundaries, but I'm also understanding when their are special circumstances. I acknowledge that he is a person and that he has feelings and needs etc.

[Anonymous]

I had a happy childhood. Loving parents, no violence, no cruel speaking. We were lower-middle class, but always had what we needed. Thimgs weren't perfect, but my parents managed to teach us what is truly important in life.

I think it helps me as an adult because when I go through bad times now, I always have hope that things can and will get better. I think I'm more optimistic than most. I know people who have had what appears to be an almost perfect childhood. They don't know how to deal with stress because they didn't have to as children.