How to be a supportive spouse to a recently laid off wife
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Anonymous
| My wife, who takes great value in her career, was laid off about 3 weeks ago for business reasons (combo of not reaching goals, etc). She's succeeded in that field for over 15 years, just a tough year. Her severance is negligible, and we won't have to worry about money without dipping into our reserve until November or so. How can I best support her in looking for new work. It is clear to me that she wants and needs to work- not to mention that she brings in almost 50% of our HHI. Any lessons learned would be great, this is our first job uncertainty in our 11 years of marriage. |
Anonymous
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My mother was laid off. It was because of her age, but of course, we couldnt prove that. Interesting that the manager who did the paperwork to fire her was transferred shortly afterward to a different location. It was a demotion.
It takes time and employers want young w little experience so they do not have to pay a higher salary. She may get depressed, so try to encourage her. My mother was reemployed after a year and a half of unemployment. It takes time. |
Anonymous
| Cut what you can now. GL. |
Anonymous
| Ask her how she wants you to respond if family members and friends ask about her situation. While not always possible, try to do what you can to allow her to avoid being embarrased or judged by others. |
Anonymous
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Cut what you can, but "allow" her some leeway....the worst thing for me about being laid off was feeling guilty about buying a cup of coffee or lunch...or really anything. I am not overly spendy but I needed to get out once in a while to feel human.
It might be a slow process to find something new. You know her best...who does she take advice from? How does she feel about you or anyone sending job descriptions etc? She's going to be overloaded with that stuff for a while and it could be overwhelming and a blow to the ego. Just be supportive. Ask what she needs. Back off if you need to back off. |
Anonymous
| You can still do your share of the household responsibilities and not assume that just because she is home while looking for another position that it is all on her now. Encourage her to stick to a daily schedule and routine while looking for a new job. |
Anonymous
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She might get depressed. My friend was laid off and two yrs later is still looking (early 30s). Protect her mental health. And make her feel positive. Make a budget. Cut.
Don't load up responsibilities on her plate. Let her job hun for the first 3-6 months uninterrupted. Network like crazy. |
Anonymous
| Cut off her cable tv...she will understand. |
Anonymous
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You sound like a great spouse OP for wanting to be supportive of her during this time.
My best advice to you would be to just be there for her when she needs to vent because she may need a sounding board often. Also, patience is key here. Try a little more patience in dealing w/her moods since her moods will be a little more challenging during this time. Good luck to both of you and hopefully soon she will find something new. |
Anonymous
+1. I think it will be fine between you both - you sound incredibly supportive OP |