What does a verbally abusive spouse say?
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Anonymous
| I read on these threads that spouses feel they're married to a verbal abuser. What does a verbally abusive spouse say? |
Anonymous
http://www.healthyplace.com/blogs/verbalabuseinrelationships/2012/04/things-verbal-abusers-say-and-do/ |
Anonymous
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Telling you what to do or not to do, someone who tries to control your actions
Calling you names - idiot, asshole, bitch, whore, etc... Putting the person down as inadequate, inferior or incapable (you never, you are no good at, why can't you do it right etc...) or making themselves out to be the person who is always right, has to do it all, etc... Trying to change the person - not accepting them as they are Using emotion (crying or anger) in discussions, arguments, disagreements to make the other person feel as though they can't openly speak their mind. Blaming the other person for whatever goes wrong Blaming the other person for how you feel - you did this to me, you hurt my feelings, you made me angry, you made me cry, you...(first) and that made me (second) Embarrassing the person in public Being put down or invalidated rather than built up and validated Dismisses or criticizes the other persons feelings or opinions Makes the victim feel like they are walking on eggshells trying to keep the abuser happy to avoid outbursts. Using guilt, shame or fear to manipulate |
Anonymous
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As someone who most recently dated someone who verbally abused me constantly, I can give you some examples.
He puts you down consistently while at the same time, builds himself up in the process. Nothing you ever do is up to his standards no matter how hard you try, he will always find fault in anything you do + will have no qualms about letting you know. He will brag about himself and put himself above people. For example my ex used to say to me, "You're worthless garbage...You are going nowhere in life....Just look at me, I am going up in life...I'm not your average bear, I'm going places...etc." He also will put you down in front of others and humiliate you in the process by not just calling you derogatory names, but by sharing intimate details about you that are very personal. He will "blackmail" you constantly. He will take important things from you, hide them...then not give them back to you or let you know where they are until you agree to submit yourself to his demands and wishes. |