Hinting to MIL that my marriage is not good

[Anonymous]

DH and I are having issues, for a long time. Working on it but not getting better. Basically I find him detached, he finds that I complain.

He is now taking a weekend off with his friends. While I understand, I also feel it is selfish, I am unhappy because he hasn't discussed it much with me, the kids miss him etc.

And MIL keeps telling me how great I am to let him do this ets. She genuinely thinks we are very happy.

We don't see each other because she lives far away, but she wrote me a nice note for my birthday and I want to reply to it. I was thinking of taking the opportunity to hint that I am not happy with DH leaving for the weekend and that things are not so good generally.

Thoughts?

[Anonymous]

Don't do it. It's between you and your husband, not her. No need to bring her into it.

[Anonymous]

Bad, bad idea.

This might be a rough patch. Do you really want to inject an otherwise pleasant MIL into your marriage? Especially since these types of ebbs and flows are perfectly natural and normal, even in a healthy marriage.

Don't you remember that biblical passage "...man shall leave his mother and a woman leave his home and they will be come one..." So true.

Besides, she won't take your side over his. All this will do is bring her into your marital battles and likely piss off your husband even more.

[Anonymous]

You all need to do more things TOGETHER and not separately.

[Anonymous]

NO, you dont need to discuss with her. And he may just need a little time, so dont begrudge him that.

[Anonymous]

OP does sound like a complainer.
To think - a whole weekend - OH THE NERVE!!!!

[Anonymous]

^^^ enough

[Anonymous]

Going to your MIL about this would be really unfair. Vent to your friends, not to your husband's family. Find some drop off options for your kids this weekend and get some time to yourself or grab brunch with a supportive friend you can talk to. That's the appropriate audience for this sort of thing, not your ILs.

[Anonymous]

Don't do it! (talk to MIL)

But, really? He can't go off for a weekend with his friends? when was the last time he's taken a weekend trip?

[Anonymous]

Why would you bring his mother into a marriage issue? This is between you and DH.

[Anonymous]

I heard that Paul McCartney's ex-wife was a complainer and a real nag.

Seriously...woman had one leg and landed a Beatle. And she just couldn't leave things well enough alone.

[Anonymous]

omg let him leave for the weekend.

And don't bring his mother into this.

[Anonymous]

complaining = those around you will shut down.

lighten-up woman.

the kids miss him? I call BS on that - sounds like a whiner's argument. Bet they'll miss him more after you wreck the marriage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don't do it! (talk to MIL)

But, really? He can't go off for a weekend with his friends? when was the last time he's taken a weekend trip?

I dont think its a problem, unless OP never gets free time for herself.

[Anonymous]

Nope, you never mention marital issues to your parents, inlaws or kids. That's what your happy hour friends are for!