not bonding with new dog

[Anonymous]

So we got a rescue a couple weeks ago. DS and DH really like her, but I'm just not feeling it. I LOVED our old dog that passed away suddenly after 10 years over a year ago. I know no two dogs are alike, but this dog just seems like an intruder and I keep wishing she would act more like our old dog. She is fairly well behaved and other than a couple incidents hasn't caused any trouble. Do I need to feel more bonded with her, or is this a sign to try a different dog? I just don't feel any urge to snuggle or play with her. We're on a trial with the rescue and she was staying at a foster home - not a shelter - so there wouldn't be much guilt in taking her back. DH is great about taking her out in the mornings and evenings, DS is feeding her... I'm just responsible for her during the daytime hours when DH is at work, which isn't really a huge imposition since she is pretty well behaved and seems to understand 'no.' Thoughts?

[Anonymous]

Dr. Gary was just talking about this issue on The Animal House a couple of weeks ago.

Give it some time, both for yourself - it sounds a little like you feel guilty loving another dog, like you're being unfaithful to your old dog - and for your family, who already love this dog.

[Anonymous]

I would agree. It sounds like your husband and son are bonded so that is a good thing. You are still dealing with the grief of losing your beloved dog and nobody can replace that dog. It sounds like emotionally you were not ready to move on yet. Can you get a longer trial so you have more time to adjust and see if you can love this dog?

[Anonymous]

She's not your old dog. Not fair to her.

I actually went through this when I got a cat a few years ago. I remember thinking "This cat is a dud" when I first got her. You need to give it a couple months. Let her personality shine through and let yourself open up to her.

[Anonymous]

walk, walk, walk, walk the dog as much as possible.

[Anonymous]

Not to be harsh but you say the dog seems like an intruder and you want it to act like your other dog. Whoa this is all you. You were not ready, but if the dog is great and your family is bonding you most likely will too. I just lost my best dog friend in January after almost 14 years together. Four months later I was ready and we purposefully got a dog very different from the first. Give it time. Stop calling it an intruder though that would be a good start.