Can only afford one. Pay for preschool for one child or activities for the other?

[Anonymous]

New to the area, and trying to figure out our budget.
I know the answer will be immediately obvious to some of you, but judging by the number of little kids I've met who are NOT in preschool or did not attend, maybe that isn't always done around here.

DH takes home 1750 every two weeks. I've been looking for jobs, so far nothing that will cover day care within a reasonable commute. (DH travels sometimes, so a long commute for me would put us in a precarious position)
Right now we have one car which will be paid off in July. We've been managing OK with one car, but that will change in September when my older son will attend a school and need to be driven (outside attendance boundary) - this opportunity is really important to DH and I, so it isn't really negotiable.

So starting around that time we will have a car payment, although it will be much lower than the one we have now.
Also starting September, we would be paying 250 per month for DD's preschool.
Our rent is 1600 for 2 BR. We are lucky to live by a great park and have a pool in our community, plus have fun neighbors and friends. That is our main entertainment.
We don't have any debts or other ongoing obligations other than utilities, phones, etc.
Cutting cable will save literally 20 bucks per month - that isn't exactly going to make a dent, you jokesters!
We already don't ever buy anything except food - have been cooking from scratch 3 times 7 for every person in family, don't go to movies, don't buy clothes for myself, buy clothes at thrift shop for kids and only when they have totally outgrown and/or exhausted existing garments. DD is almost done with night pullups - well, at least that will save 20 or so each month!
Our one luxury - music lessons for DC at 100 per month. He's doing extremely well and it would break my heart for him to have to quit. He also did a sport this spring but it only cost us 60 for the season - a good bargain.

We've pretty much been living month to month since we arrived here. Since I'm at home anyway, it would seem that preschool for my daughter might have to go to the wayside, at least until I find a job. She's 3 and a half now and hasn't been in preschool since before we moved, when I was working.
Would that be reasonable, or would you sacrifice music lessons and immersion for DS?

If it matters, we are 35 and do have about 200k in retirement and at least 6 months living expenses worth of savings, but no house and nothing near a down payment. DH is in a job that will very likely go up in salary in a year or two.

[Anonymous]

What city are you in? Some of the burbs have free public preschool - in Alexandria, it's meant for children with delayed development, but they also enroll a few typically developing children in the program to have a mixed class, with the idea that this benefits the kids.

There are also a ton of cooperative preschools in the area that are very very affordable and part time.

In terms of activities for the kids - libraries and local rec centers have free or lower cost programs compared to privately run extracurriculars - like Gymboree or the Tumbles gyms.

[Anonymous]

I'm confused- how many kids do you have and how old are they?

I think a coop would be a great solution for you, as PP suggested. There are many reasonable ones.

[Anonymous]

Also, a lot of churches in the area have structured, volunteer run preschool like gatherings once or twice a week. I don't know if you're a member at any of these, but if you belong to a church, I'd give the office a call and see what they have for young families.

Also join your neighborhood listserve to find out about free and low cost preschool activities.

[Anonymous]

I have a 6 year old and 3 year old. I've already looked into coop preschools, and actually the ones in my area aren't much cheaper than the regular one down the street from our house. We're in Fairfax County outside the beltway. I think we'd pretty much have to be destitute in order to qualify for any sort of public preschool here.

We're in a playgroup right now, but the whole point of preschool would be to give my daughter some independence and give me some hours to really put into the job search.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a 6 year old and 3 year old. I've already looked into coop preschools, and actually the ones in my area aren't much cheaper than the regular one down the street from our house. We're in Fairfax County outside the beltway. I think we'd pretty much have to be destitute in order to qualify for any sort of public preschool here.

We're in a playgroup right now, but the whole point of preschool would be to give my daughter some independence and give me some hours to really put into the job search.

It might be not a popular opinion on this board, but I would tap into your savings for that. Consider it an investment into your job search. Just my 2 cents.

[Anonymous]

If you are home, I would not send your DD to preschool. You become the preschool teacher. For socialization, take her to library story hours, the park, anything that is free or low cost.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you are home, I would not send your DD to preschool. You become the preschool teacher. For socialization, take her to library story hours, the park, anything that is free or low cost.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you are home, I would not send your DD to preschool. You become the preschool teacher. For socialization, take her to library story hours, the park, anything that is free or low cost.

That's pretty much what we're doing now, but I really think she needs more. Frankly, it's not good for either of us. I need time to work on my job search, but right now I either don't (in order to engage with my daughter) or I put on the TV so that I can have uninterrupted time to job search.

I also don't think the kind of socialization that takes place at the library, park, etc. is the same as being part of a group with regular classmates with whom she can form bonds with over time. I really, really believe children need to learn from adults other than their parent's sometimes.

I might just tap into the savings for this, though I know DH isn't going to be thrilled about it.

[Anonymous]

Is there a Mother's Day out program at a church near you? That could give your daughter some preschool-ish time without the cost.

[Anonymous]

My 11 yr old DD never went to preschool. Her first day of school ever was kindergarten. Wasn't a problem at all. However, the year before she was to start kinder, I enrolled her in a few activities so she'd get used to large-group instruction and being taught by someone other than me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you are home, I would not send your DD to preschool. You become the preschool teacher. For socialization, take her to library story hours, the park, anything that is free or low cost.

That's pretty much what we're doing now, but I really think she needs more. Frankly, it's not good for either of us. I need time to work on my job search, but right now I either don't (in order to engage with my daughter) or I put on the TV so that I can have uninterrupted time to job search.

I also don't think the kind of socialization that takes place at the library, park, etc. is the same as being part of a group with regular classmates with whom she can form bonds with over time. I really, really believe children need to learn from adults other than their parent's sometimes.

I might just tap into the savings for this, though I know DH isn't going to be thrilled about it.

In Mont. Cty, there is a SN program that mixes NT kids with SN kids. The neighborhood NT kids pay a small fee to attend the preschool with the SN kids. The objective is that the NT kids model appropriate behavior for the SN kids. It's only 2days/week, 2.5 hrs per day but it might meet your needs. I don't know if FFX has a similar model. You might give the county school office a call and ask.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you are home, I would not send your DD to preschool. You become the preschool teacher. For socialization, take her to library story hours, the park, anything that is free or low cost.

That's pretty much what we're doing now, but I really think she needs more. Frankly, it's not good for either of us. I need time to work on my job search, but right now I either don't (in order to engage with my daughter) or I put on the TV so that I can have uninterrupted time to job search.

I also don't think the kind of socialization that takes place at the library, park, etc. is the same as being part of a group with regular classmates with whom she can form bonds with over time. I really, really believe children need to learn from adults other than their parent's sometimes.

I might just tap into the savings for this, though I know DH isn't going to be thrilled about it.

In Mont. Cty, there is a SN program that mixes NT kids with SN kids. The neighborhood NT kids pay a small fee to attend the preschool with the SN kids. The objective is that the NT kids model appropriate behavior for the SN kids. It's only 2days/week, 2.5 hrs per day but it might meet your needs. I don't know if FFX has a similar model. You might give the county school office a call and ask.

+1 The program run by the city of Alexandria doesn't charge and there's no income requirement to participate. I know Fairfax has some preschool programs for SN kids - I'd call and ask if they also used a mixed class model.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you are home, I would not send your DD to preschool. You become the preschool teacher. For socialization, take her to library story hours, the park, anything that is free or low cost.

That's pretty much what we're doing now, but I really think she needs more. Frankly, it's not good for either of us. I need time to work on my job search, but right now I either don't (in order to engage with my daughter) or I put on the TV so that I can have uninterrupted time to job search.

I also don't think the kind of socialization that takes place at the library, park, etc. is the same as being part of a group with regular classmates with whom she can form bonds with over time. I really, really believe children need to learn from adults other than their parent's sometimes.

I might just tap into the savings for this, though I know DH isn't going to be thrilled about it.

I know you said you're new to the area, but do you have friends with similar aged children? Even if it happens on a weekend (e.g. if they work outside the home) what about setting up your own preschool co-op with friends? Julie has the 3 kids on saturday mornings for 2 hours and they bake and go for a walk. Sarah has the 3 kids on wednesday evenings and they explore the creek. John has the 3 kids monday afternoons and they do art.

My child was in daycare from infancy, but she has friends who weren't in any out of the home programs until Kindergarten and they have done just fine. It may have taken them a bit longer to settle in to Kindergarten since they hadn't been doing the circle time - centers - ask to go to the bathroom or get a drink - line up to go outside for ever, but everyone caught on quickly.

Depending on how much time you're putting in to your job search, if how much time you might be able to get with child-care swapping isn't enough, what about telling your DH that until you get a job, he's going to have to step up and be the on parent for the evenings so you can have 2-4 hours a day for your job search?

Every child going to preschool is such a new thing. My own parents only sent me because I was the youngest and my older siblings had gone off to school and I wanted to too! So I got one year of preschool, which was pretty extravagant back then. I think your older child's immersion + music lesson trumps your younger child's preschool. Although your sanity may trump everything!

[Anonymous]

In your situation, I would use some of your emergency savings to buy a cheap used car. This will free up the money to send DD to preschool in the fall. I believe preschool is a good idea. It will also allow you to work while she is in preschool. Even a job at the local grocery store will do until you can get something better.