To Repo or Not? Hopefully Not...Just Praying....

Anonymous
I am in the middle of a messy divorce from my spouse of twenty-five years.

He lives w/his new GF and has a car that is already paid for.

I on the other hand have a vehicle we purchased together while we still lived together and are making payments on. We still have another three years left on our car payments.

Both of our names are on the car loan, but since he is working and I am currently not (I care for our three young children), he is the breadwinner for all of our bills.

Well he is being a jerk and when he gets his paychecks, he prefers to spend his money on his new GF vs. on his old responsibilities like his previous family. So he has overlooked our last 4 car payments. The dealership has been calling me and talking about repossessing my car for the past six weeks on and off and I explain to them the situation. The divorce, my children, etc. People are surprised that after 4 missed car payments no one has taken the car yet, myself included. Do you think the fact that I am going through a divorce and have three young children is having an impact on them not taking away my vehicle? Why would they care?

Also, my soon-to-be-ex informed this weekend that our car insurance policy expired at midnight last night and since the bank is the lienholder on our financed car, we could get in hot water from the bank not having any insurance on our car. Will they find out on their own?

Thank you in advance for any and all advice.

Anonymous
They don't care. They just haven't gotten around to it. You will get heavy fines in md once the insurance co notifies the state that your coverage lapsed.
Anonymous
I'm sorry you are in such an awful situation.
You need to consult a lawyer stat and look into filing for emergency type support from your ex so that you can keep yourself afloat. Unfortunately, most banks are not going to care about your personal situation and its unlikely that will stop them from repossessing your car. It is unlikely that they will find out about your insurance as they typically only verify coverage at the initiation of the loan. Your loan agreement then requires you to keep the policy in effect. However, it's a really bad idea to risk driving around uninsured. You'd be held personally liable for not only the car but also any damages or injuries should you get into an accident. Again, get yourself a lawyer and get some spousal support in place so that your husband can't play these sorts of games. Good luck!
Anonymous
Unless your ex DH is totally loaded (which I doubt, given the car payments), I'd be getting a job if I were you. I doubt you can live on child support alone.
Anonymous
You've been married for 25 years but are still caring for three "young" children?
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:You've been married for 25 years but are still caring for three "young" children?


If she got married between 15-20, then she'd be between 40-45 now after 25 years of marriage and I have a few friends who've had kids in their early 40's. I guess it's possible.
Anonymous
OP, your lawyer should be ALL over this. I can't figure out why you haven't told them about this but it's exactly the type of thing they handle for you.
Anonymous
A lawyer isn't going to help you in time to handle this car situation. More than likely, they'll be repossessing your car within the next couple of weeks or so because I promise you they don't care about your divorce situation. The fact that you're 4 payments behind and don't have insurance on the car doesn't bode well.

Find someone who can loan you some money to catch up on the payments or better yet, sell it, and buy a cheap car in CASH that you can afford.

Time to buckle up and get a job or reach out to someone who can float you until your divorce is final
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:You've been married for 25 years but are still caring for three "young" children?


If she got married between 15-20, then she'd be between 40-45 now after 25 years of marriage and I have a few friends who've had kids in their early 40's. I guess it's possible.


Those friends weren't married at 18 to the same person they were when they had the kids in their forties.

$1000 says that OP's kids are at least in high school.
Anonymous
I am not sure how MD works, but in Va, you would get about 32% of his gross as Alimony....A lawyer can help...
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:You've been married for 25 years but are still caring for three "young" children?


It's possible.

I've been married for 21 years and my kids are 9 and 11. If I didn't have fertility problems, I would have had one more who would be around 5-7 now. (That was the plan.) We were married for 9 years before I got pregnant. I was 24 when I got married and 33 when I had kid #1.

The kids aren't that young, but they're not in high school and entirely independent yet, either.


Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:You've been married for 25 years but are still caring for three "young" children?


It's possible.

I've been married for 21 years and my kids are 9 and 11. If I didn't have fertility problems, I would have had one more who would be around 5-7 now. (That was the plan.) We were married for 9 years before I got pregnant. I was 24 when I got married and 33 when I had kid #1.

The kids aren't that young, but they're not in high school and entirely independent yet, either.




Oh, and a friend of mine from college has a 17 year old and a 5 year old. She's 45. The five year old was a surprise pregnancy.
Anonymous
You need a job. Sorry to be harsh, but it is what it is. Stop relying on someone you know you can't rely on.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:I am not sure how MD works, but in Va, you would get about 32% of his gross as Alimony....A lawyer can help...


Yikes...counting my blessings that I got to choose my own prenupt and not the one the state chose for me!
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:You've been married for 25 years but are still caring for three "young" children?


OP Here:

Yes, I got married when I was 20 and in college, and I wanted to finish Grad School so I waited to have children later on. Then husband and I had fertility issues, finally had children later on, but after 2nd I had severe Post-Partum Disorder and Dr. discouraged me from having another so my husband and I adopted a child 5 years ago.

Our children are 11, 7 and just turned 5. Not young young, but still minors.
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