free trip to disney: accept or not?

[Anonymous]

Here are the facts:
FIL is generous, his wife (evil step MIL) is evil.
ESMIL gives tons of free stuff and money to her two sons; neither work.
FIL wants to even out contributions between the two families.
We can afford our own trips to Disney and yet really would choose other places over Disney until that one magical year. (My son says when his baby sister is 2, we will go; i say when she is 4 and he's 7).

Anyway,should we:
go, enjoy and let the FIL and ESMIL feel all generous and equivalent?
Just pass with some excuse like baby too small, work too busy, ect?
tell the truth which is we hate ESMIL and don't really want her around our children? (never did like ESMIL but now that older child is forming permanent memories, I kind of want to protect him from her evilness).

This is related to our vacation schedule in general. We spend a lot of vaca with them. While I dearly love my FIL and love spending time with him, I'm over ESMIL and want to avoid her for the rest of my life. We have already committed to a family vaca near them over summer and I"m regretting it. Can't get out of that one.

thoughts?

[Anonymous]

No way. Do not do disney or any other vacation with them. You will immediately regret it.

[Anonymous]

Nobody can tell you that. Is the upside (Disney is pleasant in the off-season, even with a baby; it's free; FIL will have bragging rights and be happy) be worth putting up with the downside (MIL is evil)>

You're the only one who can say.

[Anonymous]

Doesn't sound worth it. If FIL is intent on "evening out" the money, suggest that he's welcome to make a contribution to the kids college funds. But if you already have plans to see them, I wouldn't compound that with more plans.

[Anonymous]

Making your kids happy > having to put up with ESMIL

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Here are the facts:
FIL is generous, his wife (evil step MIL) is evil.
ESMIL gives tons of free stuff and money to her two sons; neither work.
FIL wants to even out contributions between the two families.
We can afford our own trips to Disney and yet really would choose other places over Disney until that one magical year. (My son says when his baby sister is 2, we will go; i say when she is 4 and he's 7).

Anyway,should we:
go, enjoy and let the FIL and ESMIL feel all generous and equivalent?
Just pass with some excuse like baby too small, work too busy, ect?
tell the truth which is we hate ESMIL and don't really want her around our children? (never did like ESMIL but now that older child is forming permanent memories, I kind of want to protect him from her evilness).

This is related to our vacation schedule in general. We spend a lot of vaca with them. While I dearly love my FIL and love spending time with him, I'm over ESMIL and want to avoid her for the rest of my life. We have already committed to a family vaca near them over summer and I"m regretting it. Can't get out of that one.

thoughts?

[Anonymous]

Say thank you but no thank you. Let Disney be completely magical by only going with your immediate family.

I hate Disney but the hype is so huge for kids. When you go SOMETHING will go wrong at some point and your kids will cry. It'll rain or the line for a ride they really want will be too long, or they'll get stung by a bee. They don't need family dynamics going wrong too.

[Anonymous]

How involved would esmil be in Disney trip? 24/7?

[Anonymous]

How is she evil? If you suggest going to Disney instead of one of the other trips to see them, you have a lot less time with her - there are things to do and naps to take.

I'm not clear what harmful things she does, so it's hard to really evaluate.

[Anonymous]

I love Disney. I have a time share.
I have annual passes.

I also have a tumulutous family situation.

I find that Disney makes the family time less difficult (yay) because there are buffers everywhere.
However, if you are trying to avoid spending any time with her, a Disney trip is a bad idea.

It will feel more stressful because she is ruining the moment for you.

There are lots of power struggles to be had on a trip like that, and lots of choices and decisions.
If you ever go to a hotel bar at WDW, you will hear people hiding from their in laws. You'd be in good company, but I'd say save Disney for just your immediate family.

Unless they offer to send you and NOT come. JUMP on that.
A 3-day cruise where you only meet for dinner is a good model, too.

[Anonymous]

I would do your option #2: "Just pass with some excuse like baby too small, work too busy, etc."

Don't do #1: It's not worth it going, b/c if they want to even things out, why not just let you choose whatever you want to do with the $$, and give you the $$ and let you put it where you want it.

Don't do #3: It's not worth the family drama to lay it all out why you hate ESMIL. That would be verging into mean territory, and you don't want to be mean, you just want to keep your family vacation plans (Disney later when you all can enjoy it) the way you had planned.

[Anonymous]

Why are they going w you on vacation? Neither of us would want the in laws there and we love our in laws. We went to Disney last weekend. Take a poncho! And a stroller for the little one.

Your inlaws should NOT be going w you on this vacation. Thats uber weird.

[Anonymous]

Let your husband go with your older child. You bow out because baby is too young.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I love Disney. I have a time share.
I have annual passes.

I also have a tumulutous family situation.

I find that Disney makes the family time less difficult (yay) because there are buffers everywhere.
However, if you are trying to avoid spending any time with her, a Disney trip is a bad idea.

It will feel more stressful because she is ruining the moment for you.

There are lots of power struggles to be had on a trip like that, and lots of choices and decisions.
If you ever go to a hotel bar at WDW, you will hear people hiding from their in laws. You'd be in good company, but I'd say save Disney for just your immediate family.

Unless they offer to send you and NOT come. JUMP on that.
A 3-day cruise where you only meet for dinner is a good model, too.

LOL!

[Anonymous]

NEVER EVER EVER accept a gift w strings. NEVER.