Repeating Kindergarten? Advice Needed Please

[Anonymous]

My son's teachers are suggesting he repeat kindergarten. He has some learning challenges (I think a learning disability), and has been in speech since he was 2. Tests show there are red flags for things like reading comprehension, and auditory processing. That said, he works very hard, is at the low end of the class in terms of work but is keeping up. I am struggling about whether to push him on to first, or keep him back another year. Has anyone held their kindergartener back and if so, do you regret it or was it a good decision?

[Anonymous]

Is this learning disability a documented one that he receives special services for? If not, I would definitely pursue whatever avenues to have him tested before you make any decisions. If he is in public school, this could take a LONG time so initiate it now. What testing has already been done?

[Anonymous]

My child was also in speech, also at the low end of the class. Someone once told me to think about it not as "is my child ready for...whatever grade" but instead "is that grade ready for my child." In our case, first grade was ready--it came with a fabulous reading resource teacher (not available in K). We hired a teacher over the summer between K and 1 to work with DC twice a week on reading, particularly phonics. When DC got to first, the reading resource teacher worked her magic, and DC was reading ahead of grade level by the end of first.

I hasten to point out that I did not seriously suspect a learning disability although of course that possibility lurked in my mind. My thinking was that if DC needs special education we'll get special education, but I don't think K would be any more ready to address a serious issue the second time around than it was the first time.

So if someone was telling me my child needed to repeat a grade, I'd want them to tell me what they were going to do differently the next time. Being a year older and seeing the same material twice would not be answers I would accept as good reasons unless there was a pretty convincing developmental explanation to go with them. If the explanation's not convincing but if the next grade's not ready and it's sink or swim there, I'd be looking for another K or 1 program that was ready. Best of luck with your decision.

[Anonymous]

when is his birthday OP?

[Anonymous]

Former teacher here. The kids that stayed back a year were usually just put in another teacher's class w/ no change in any other areas. Some kids do need time to mature but I suspect that isn't the case here. Don't expect anything else to happen if he repeats other than he gets a new teacher (and maybe extra help from a resource teacher).

[Anonymous]

I have the opposite situation. I suspected it might be a good idea for my older son to repeat first grade, but the teacher thought I should push him. Fast forward to fourth grade and there are just not enough reading resources available to help him. My guess is that he will end up repeating a grade before middle school. I wish I had made a different decision when he was younger. Not only is it easier to repeat, but then my son wouldn't have had the frustrations he has been having these past three years due to his delay in reading.

Everyone outside of school remarks about how bright and quick my son is and how enjoyable he is to be with because he is so bright. But actually he is only a C student. The problem with reading difficulties is that it affects a child's ability to perform in all subjects. Math problems involve reading. Science involves reading. Social studies, you name it.

Anyway, good luck with your decision.

[Anonymous]

OP here, first, thanks for the advice. You give me a lot to chew on. My son is one of the older ones in his class (November birthday), and he is doing fairly well in his work. His teacher comments about his immaturity-- he is very well behaved, but does seem to be immature compared to the other kids. She's been a teacher for over 20 years, and says she basically has to "walk him through" every work assignment. As for learning disabilities, he has a hard time processing and understanding concepts. There is no formal diagnosis, although dyslexia runs in our family. I understand that it's very hard to test for learning disabilities at this age, and most wait until second grade.

[Anonymous]

I would hold my child back a year.

Is he in public school? How is the school rated? Any way to send him to another public school with higher ratings or, if you qualify by getting a special needs diagnosis, I think you can get the County to allow you to go to the school best equipped to help him... right?

Are you in Fairfax by any chance? The Child Find program might be able to help you, although it is very challenging now with budget cuts.

What about a diagnosis from a private doctor, any one know how to pursue that?

Another friend of my whose child has learning disabilities says she has found commercial tutoring very helpful. I think she uses the "Score" tutoring business.

[Anonymous]

OP -- another teacher here -- It is hard to say without knowing your child and all, but I have a bad feeling about holding him back a year for the reasons his teacher suggested. I would take seriously the opinions of a 20 year veteran, however. It sounds like there's something different about your son that is worth investigating. Especially if he is one of the older in the class, but appears immature in some ways.

As for testing for learning disabilities -- it is true that in the past people have waited till second or third grade, but I think that is outdated now. Early intervention is so important, that I would start now if you could. The school however will not likely take that attitude, because testing is expensive. Few schools do testing early -- but you can have it done. It will cost you. IMO, it will be the best money you have ever spent on your child, however. I would especially urge you to do this, given the circumstances you state. Here is one kind of group that will do the kind of testing that can help you: http://www.stixrud.com

I would NOT just hold this child back a year. You need to know what the problem is. Holding a smart, older child back a year will likely make the situation worse.

[Anonymous]

I've been a Kindergarten teacher for seven years. Each year that a child is held back increases the chances that a child will drop out later in their academic career. After moving to Florida, I was dismayed to encounter children who were in their third year of kindergarten. This is often just another way way for public schools to boost their budget. Don't ever hold back a child until a Student Study Team (depending on your state) has considered the matter or the child has at least been tested. That being said, work with him at home on his letter sounds, sounding out words, counting, and basic arithmetic as much as possible. Read to him often as well. As a public school teacher, I would never on your life send my child to a public school, but often those choices in life are made for us. Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As a public school teacher, I would never on your life send my child to a public school, but often those choices in life are made for us. Good luck!

Wow. Maybe the problem with the public school in which you teach is - you? I can't help but notice that you have difficulty with basic English grammar.

[Anonymous]

Go get him tested for a learning disability... NOW. You would be amazed at the kind of help you can get, and the kind of progress your child can make, when you know what you're dealing with. Your description that he has trouble understanding concepts, having the teacher have to walk him through assignments, etc... could WELL be a learning disability. This is not necessarily a "delay" per se... its more that you figure out that it is hard for your child to learn in some traditional ways used in schools. Having this information can be really important, because if he is taught in a DIFFERENT way, he might well excel. If he were young, I'd have no qualms about holding him back. But since he's older, I think you have to worry a little about the stigma associated with holding him back (really a second year if I understand the cut off dates?). And, if you're not addressing the root of the problem (possibly a learning disability), while NEXT year might be easier for him (becuase he will have seen the material once before), you're not necessarily putting him in a better situation for 1st grade the following year.

I'm not saying don't hold him back. But I would not hold him back unless/until I had investigated the LD possibility. You may find that there are some really simple things you can do that will make a world of difference to him.

Good luck to you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My son's teachers are suggesting he repeat kindergarten. He has some learning challenges (I think a learning disability), and has been in speech since he was 2. Tests show there are red flags for things like reading comprehension, and auditory processing. That said, he works very hard, is at the low end of the class in terms of work but is keeping up. I am struggling about whether to push him on to first, or keep him back another year. Has anyone held their kindergartener back and if so, do you regret it or was it a good decision?

In making this decision, you really should have 3 options -- repeat kindergarten, move on to 1st grade w/ X kind of support to address learning needs, or repeat K w/ learning supports.

The fact that neither of the latter 2 options is on the table is a big red flag. You should NOT be discussing anything w/o specifically addressing your child's learning needs. It's not reasonable to expect that a child with learning disabilities/issues will simply get it the second time. It's akin to expecting a one legged runner to get a better time in a race the second time he/she runs it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My son's teachers are suggesting he repeat kindergarten. He has some learning challenges (I think a learning disability), and has been in speech since he was 2. Tests show there are red flags for things like reading comprehension, and auditory processing. That said, he works very hard, is at the low end of the class in terms of work but is keeping up. I am struggling about whether to push him on to first, or keep him back another year. Has anyone held their kindergartener back and if so, do you regret it or was it a good decision?

In making this decision, you really should have 3 options -- repeat kindergarten, move on to 1st grade w/ X kind of support to address learning needs, or repeat K w/ learning supports.

The fact that neither of the latter 2 options is on the table is a big red flag. You should NOT be discussing anything w/o specifically addressing your child's learning needs. It's not reasonable to expect that a child with learning disabilities/issues will simply get it the second time. It's akin to expecting a one legged runner to get a better time in a race the second time he/she runs it.

Splendid advice, PP. I am not the OP but I appreciate your succinct diagnosis of the necessary options and your words of wisdom. Thank you.