What constitutes suicidal thoughts?
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Anonymous
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Just wondering what type of symptomatic thinking should be considered... clinical (?) enough to be reported to the physician.
I have been struggling with anxiety and depression for the most part of my life. Right now I am several weeks postpartum, which have exacerbated my anxiety. On the one hand, I have been thinking about how nice it would be not to be alive anymore. On the other hand, I know for a fact I would never attempt a suicide. First of all, I am too much of a chicken shit, or my survival instinct has too firm of a grip on me. Second, I would never think of leaving my infant without a mother. Finally, I would never do something so devastating to my husband and parents. Now, the question is: Am I having suicidal thoughts? I don't want to DO anything. I just catch myself wishing I would not wake up in the morning. I am on medication. (It may need adjustment and soon; I am looking into that.) |
Anonymous
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I am not sure, OP, as there's often a large gray area. But if you feel like talking to someone with more experience, please make an anonymous call to one of these hotlines. Be well and take care of yourself.
Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance Phone: 800-826-3632 Hopeline Phone: 800-442-HOPE (4673) Mental Health America – For a referral to specific mental health service or support program in your community Phone: 800-969-NMHA (6642) National Alliance on Mental Illness – Provides support, information, and referrals Phone: 800-950-NAMI (6264) National Suicide Prevention Hotline Phone: 800-273-TALK (8255) Postpartum Support International Phone: 800-994-4PPD (4773) PPD Hope Phone: 877-PPD-HOPE (877-773-4673) PPD Moms Phone: 800-PPD-MOMS (800-773-6667) http://www.womenshealth.gov/mental-health/hotlines/ |
Anonymous
Yes, these are suicidal thoughts but a therapist will know what you mean when you say you wouldn't actually do anything. Anyway you should ABSOLUTELY reach out to your OB. Today. This is classic PPD. I was right there a few years ago and was shocked how easily a person can find themselves there when hormones and sleep deprivation at play. Call your OB or a therapist. Explain that you think you are suffering from PPD and that you need some help. Today. |
Anonymous
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I get where you're coming from. I was severely depressed for years before getting help, and one of my coping mechanisms was thinking about how I COULD kill myself if the pain ever became too great. I never came close to actually doing it, and knew there was little chance that I would. The thing I see from my current, mentally healthy, vantage point, is that living like that was not necessary. The thoughts of killing myself was a clear indicator that I needed help to feel emotionally good, or at least stable. I never reported these thoughts to the psychiatrist I consulted because I figured he would hear "thoughts of suicide" and assume that there was an actual threat to my life. There were enough symptoms of severe clinical depression outside of those thoughts that the omission didn't affect my diagnosis or treatment.
Good luck, and please get those meds adjusted because you deserve to be happy and healthy. |
Anonymous
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Honestly, I would get help now. These are thoughts of suicide. You aren't making plans and you can talk yourself out of them, but they are symptomatic of an illness. Once you are well again, you will not be able to believe that you ever thought it would be better to be dead.
Please don't wait. The brain can be a fragile thing. My brother died by suicide and never expressed suicidal ideation - in fact, he had a to-do list for the day he died - but he was unstable and I believe he just lost his normal impulse control, the rational kind like what you have now that says you'd never do that to your baby. He would NEVER have done that to his sons, not consciously, not knowingly. If the underlying desire to be dead is there, you need help to address that. You can't count on your rational side always being there, especially if your symptoms get worse. Please get help today. Great resources above. |
Anonymous
| Op please call your doctor ASAP!! You may have the baby blues and can get medicine or therapy for this but please call your ob ASAP! Hormones and lack of sleep can exasperate these feelings. Call dr. and tell spouse. You are not alone and can get help. Good luck!! |
Anonymous
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I was in your position with PPD and didn't think I'd actually do it. It eventually reached the point suddenly one day where I actually did come up solid plan of how I'd do it down to minor details, which was an out of body terrifying experience. Honestly, I think I might have if I hadn't clung onto the fact my husband would be hours late from picking the kids up at daycare.
Take care of it now. You don't need to entertain thoughts for long to be able to move forward quickly. |
Anonymous
| OP, it can cross the line very quickly so get help ASAP. While you feel pretty safe right now, it could get worse. |
Anonymous
| Please get help while you are still in the mental space that you can do so. We all really want you to do so ... then come back and we will provide any empathy and encouragement we can. Hugs. Now go make that call. |
Anonymous
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What you are having OP is called passive suicidal ideation. About 10% of the population has passive suicidal ideation. Sometimes it is part of your coping - having this mental escape route - that you could (not that you would) kill yourself to end how you feel if you wanted to. Passive suicidal ideation is thoughts of death or wishing you were dead or thinking of how you might die - with NO intent to actually act on it.
If you have any thought of acting on it - you actually make a plan, you start thinking in detail about what you would do, you set a time or a day, you start to make decisions based on your suicidal ideation, you no longer focus on reasons to live....that is active suicidial ideation and you need to get help immediately. That is an emergency. Passive suicidal ideation is a good indication that your current coping strategies aren't working and that you need more help with the depression and anxiety. Some people know for sure that they will never kill themselves and that the passive ideation is just part of their coping and how they feel and they don't seek help because they know they can manage those feelings. Some people live for years with passive suicidal ideation. It is always good to talk to someone about it, in the context of how your mental health is worsening. Mental health professionals are very very used to hearing about passive suicidal ideation and how it is intertwined with your mental health. |
Anonymous
| Oh here. Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I really appreciate that you took time to respond and clarify things for me. I guess I have lived with depression for so long, I completely forgot what the "normal" feels like. This may explain why none of these thoughts have actually raised any red flags in my mind. I don't believe I or anybody in the family is in physical danger; however, I will reach out for help as soon as possible. Thank you! |
Anonymous
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OP, this is actually an excellent medical question...
One that I think should be addressed. I see many anti-depressant medications warn of this, but then how is it actually defined?? How do we separate an actual thought from an actual desire to act?? 
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Anonymous
This is a great explanation, but I am completely shocked it's only 10% of the population. I thought it was common enough to be considered normal. I've done it for the last 25 years, at least. I've never attempted suicide. I have made some very bad coping decisions. I have been in the planning stages, which you would think would be a wake up call. At least to me, they were not. I was so apathetic at the time, I didn't realize the risk until after the fog lifted. Having seen close friends and family members float over to suicide attempts, I can tell you they had lost a lot of their ability to be rational in the months leading up to it. The depression gets worse and worse and they slip further from reality. Catching yourself at that point can't be easy. Talk to you doctor. |
Anonymous
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Very grateful for the responses to OP's question.
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Anonymous
| I am not sure what the situation is for adults, but I have been told suicidal ideation in adolescents is an emergency. My DS at college told me he had suicidal thoughts. I did a quick check with his pediatrician here and was on the next flight to the city he was in. From there I took him immediately to the ER, where we waited until a bed was available on a psych ward. He was there for three days while they worked out medication. |