My child is so destructive

[Anonymous]

Not intentionally as far as I know but she's a bad combination of being really strong, careless, rough and indifferent (or unaware). She breaks, loses or misplaces things almost daily. Her toys, furniture, art supplies, electronics, jewelry, clothes... It is so frustrating because I do not have the money to keep replacing things. I do buy a lot of her things on sale or at the thrift store and obviously some things just don't get replaced but it is still a problem. She's young, i get that but it's still expensive for me. Her birthday is coming up and I feel like having most of her gifts be things that need to be replaced, otherwise I will have to pay for these items. Your thoughts?

[Anonymous]

I am guessing you have an 18 mo old.

[Anonymous]

Have you tried saying "no" consistently? Redirecting? Helping her put things back so you both know where things are? Do you engage so your dd knows how to play with stuff? Do you run off energy at a playground daily?

There's gotta be more to the story than my kid is a haphazard wrecking ball. What have you tried? Examples? Only when she is bored does she do this?

[Anonymous]

Put less stuff out.

Only a few things at a time.

Everything else boxed up in the basement or up high.

[Anonymous]

How old is your child?
I only recently stopped being nervous about the almost 9 year old and electronics? She still can't have a drink near them.

[Anonymous]

What the last two posters have said! No, redirect, model, if using roughly take it away, and less stuff out at a time.

[Anonymous]

How old is she? Being destructive at two is very different than being destructive at 10.

[Anonymous]

She's 5

[Anonymous]

I would say at five she needs to learn the consequences for breaking, losing and general carelessness - but not on her birthday. I know it's expensive but birthday gifts should be what the kid wants not what the kid needs.

I'd make the consequences more severe for her than simply not replacing something she loses or breaks - she probably doesn't care that she lost her sweater but a lost sweater deserves consequences beyond just not replacing it.

[Anonymous]

Buy her one nice gift. Have her earn some of her things with chores. Have her clean up her messes.

[Anonymous]

Another brat.

[Anonymous]

5 year olds should not have unsupervised access to electronics that aren't meant for young children.

My younger DD wanted a kindle or nook of her own at that age.We made her wait a couple years. She could use mine or her Dad's with supervision.

[Anonymous]

I agree with the PP who said your daughter needed stronger consequences - punishments that are really going to make her realize she needs to be more careful.

But not on her birthday. Keep that one day and one gift special.

[Anonymous]

Don't replace items that she breaks. She needs to learn consequences and how to take care of her things.

There also needs to be consistent consequences/follow through for misbehavior and breaking things.

[Anonymous]

If it's broken due to carelessness (not an accident), it is not replaced.
If it's lost it is not replaced
If it's left outside when it should be then it's put on the top shelf in the garage.
If it's broken/lost/mistreated and it's mine then there's a consequence
If it's left dirty or messy then a fun thing is postponed until it's cleaned

If you give in or don't follow through then your teaching your child that being destructive is just fine