How big a deal is a retirement party (for a parent?)

[Anonymous]

I was just invited to a parent's retirement party about 4 weeks from now. I live about 6 hours away. I have a superficial relationship with this parent but knew about the retirement. Was just called about the party and told an invitation would follow.

I feel some obligation to go and I'm sure it would mean a lot to my parent. However, the relationship is not great (parent has not made great effort to get to know me or my chlldren) and I'd be giving up work and time with my children (who are at high-needs stages). The other part of me wants to send a card and gift and be done with it.

Thoughts?

[Anonymous]

Be the bigger person. Go. You'll regret it if you don't.

[Anonymous]

I took the time and paid for plane tickets to fly to my parents home so that I could be at my dad's retirement party. At the time, the money was a big deal and I wasn't early a lot, so it was very significant. But when my dad called and asked me to come, it never occurred to me not to go.

[Anonymous]

Are you saying your children aren't invited? If they're not, then don't go. If they are, then go. It's great for kids to learn we celebrate milestones in other people's lives that aren't birthdays and they'd get to meet other family members.

Perhaps now that your dad will be retired he'll have time to work on his relationship with you.

[Anonymous]

Um tough.

My father recently retired, and hasn't yet organized a party. I wouldn't go because he's in Europe. I would feel bad for not attending, though.