How to reconnect with spouse after baby?

[Anonymous]

DH and I have had a tough year. We are best friends but haven't had much intimacy since baby came along. I'm not referring to sexual intimacy, just intimacy in general. We both recognize the need to work on our relationship but aren't sure how. We have some challenges. We aren't in a position to leave the baby in someone else's care at the moment. We get anywhere between 15 minutes to maybe an hour on a good night after the baby has gone to bed. We want ideas for how to use this time to reconnect. Activities we can do together that are quiet (sleeping baby nearby) and will help us reconnect. Please don't tell us to hire a sitter, etc. We will when we get there but for now we are just looking for ideas, things that we can do in 15 minute bursts, that aren't necessarily sexual, to reconnect. To be clear, our relationship is not in danger here - we are both 100% committed and genuinely love each other and expect the best for us.

[Anonymous]

Massage? I'm sure there are videos on YouTube with instructions for different techniques - it might be fun to take turns picking a different type of massage to try on each other. Pick out massage oil with different scents, or surprise each other. You can either have a "this is just for relaxation and will not lead to sex tonight" rule, or not, depending on where you're at. (And if you are aiming for it to lead to sex, order some massage candles.)

Dancing? Can you turn on some music at a low volume, and again I'm sure there are videos on-line you can follow to learn different types of dance (salsa, ballroom, etc.)

Play Twister

[Anonymous]

What about exercise? Even doing sit-ups or push-ups together or just stretching is a good way to relieve tension as well as get toned.

[Anonymous]

I know you said not necessarily sexual, but I'd recommend sex.

[Anonymous]

I like to cuddle in bed or on the couch - even with clothes on. Just a few minutes really takes me back to our newlywed days. Dancing is also good. We used to shower together too until my kids got bigger. Not with the intention of sex, just to relax together.

[Anonymous]

board game?

something that will force both of you to be a little spontaneous and silly, to help break you out of the new baby routine.

i should take my own advice.

[Anonymous]

Maybe take a warm bath together...Bubbles optional.

Or try giving each other massages.

Another good idea would be just lying down on the bed or sofa and simply snuggling together, talking about your dreams together for the future.