Advice needed! Taking baby to live overseas.

[Anonymous]

I dont have a really good relationship with my ex, but I have to admit that he is a wonderful dad. The problem is, Im not originally from the US and my Visa expires next June. Im am so ready to go back home and start over again. We have talked briefly about the subject and he was not happy but agreed, but the conversations took place before the baby was born and now he is so in love with her that Im afraid he might change his mind. He knows that Im not taking her away just because I just felt like it, but because I cannot stay (I would never consider staying illegally). But Im torn and sad because I feel for him and I understand that it must be hard for him.

What should I do to make things smoother? We really dont get along, and have had a lot of fights.
How should I handle the situation once there regarding to visitation and money wise? He does not help me with any child support, the only thing he helps with is diapers, not even name brand ones.
Thanks in advance.

[Anonymous]

Why doesn't he pay child support? He is legally obligated to do so until the child turns 18 yrs old. It doesn't sound like he has any say until he pays support. I would contact the state office of child support enforcement and get that taken care of. Explain to them that you will be moving back to your home country and see how it will work w/ his child support payments. I don't think judges look too kindly at parents who don't pay their child support. I doubt a judge would stop you from taking the child esp since the father doesn't pay any support.

[Anonymous]

Yeah, I was feeling for him until you mentioned he wasn't paying child support.

Does the child have a passport issued by your country, by the way? You don't have to answer that, I was just wondering what the child's legal status would be in your country. Were you married when you had your child? If not, is the father listed as the father on the birth certificate? If not, you will have to establish paternity before your ex is obligated to pay child support.

[Anonymous]

Look, cover your a** and make sure you have custody of your child squared away before you leave the country. If your child is a U.S. Citizen w/out dual citizenship and doesn't yet have a passport, she will need either both of your signatures on the passport application, or a notarized form from you indicating why only one paren't signature is available. If your ex decided to raise a stink, it could be problematic without the passport already in hand and/or you being named legally the primary caregiver.

[Anonymous]

OP here
We are/were married by the time baby was born, he does appear on her Birth Certificate and signed the Aknowledge of paternity, so he is obligated to pay child support.
She is a US citizen and doesnt have a passport yet (she is 1month old), thats why I need to handle things the best I can so he doesnt give me any problems with that.
Iam scared of going to the child support office because he might get really upset and then dont let me take the baby with me. I know its her right but the way he sees it its like he is giving the money for ME.

[Anonymous]

you need to grow a back bone if you plan on taking this baby and leaving

fo file for cusotdy and child support NOW. that way if he fights it you have time tgo deal with it

if you want till the week before you HAVE to leave then you are screwed

[Anonymous]

You should talk to a lawyer who's experienced in international custody issues to sort through what you should/should not do. Frankly, I'd be concerned that he'd claim I'd kidnapped the child if I left the US without tying up all loose ends. I have no idea what those loose ends are, that's why you should talk to a lawyer. Your country's consulate should be able to give you a referral.

[Anonymous]

You should talk to an immigration lawyer. Maybe there is a way for you to get a green card through your child who is a US citizen. Don't know, but I think you need immigration advice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here
We are/were married by the time baby was born, he does appear on her Birth Certificate and signed the Aknowledge of paternity, so he is obligated to pay child support.
She is a US citizen and doesnt have a passport yet (she is 1month old), thats why I need to handle things the best I can so he doesnt give me any problems with that.
Iam scared of going to the child support office because he might get really upset and then dont let me take the baby with me. I know its her right but the way he sees it its like he is giving the money for ME.

Hold on a second? Are you legally divorced or just not living together (still married in the eyes of the law)?

If the divorce has not happened the father is not "obligated" to pay for support b/c according to the state you are still married. Can you prove he's moved out and you're separated (does he have a legal address somewhere else to prove he's moved his residency)?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here
We are/were married by the time baby was born, he does appear on her Birth Certificate and signed the Aknowledge of paternity, so he is obligated to pay child support.
She is a US citizen and doesnt have a passport yet (she is 1month old), thats why I need to handle things the best I can so he doesnt give me any problems with that.
Iam scared of going to the child support office because he might get really upset and then dont let me take the baby with me. I know its her right but the way he sees it its like he is giving the money for ME.

Hold on a second? Are you legally divorced or just not living together (still married in the eyes of the law)?

If the divorce has not happened the father is not "obligated" to pay for support b/c according to the state you are still married. Can you prove he's moved out and you're separated (does he have a legal address somewhere else to prove he's moved his residency)?

Well, she can sue for temporary child support while legally separated.

[Anonymous]

You can file for child support from your home country. There are international laws and such for this kind of situation. Most contries signed, including US.

Go see a lawyer regarding custody and your right to take the child to another country.