question for dog lovers

[Anonymous]

DH and I had to put our first dog to sleep last fall. We got her right when we got married and she was our "first baby." Having her put to sleep was heartbreaking and nothing I ever imagined. At the time, the vet told us that very few dogs die peacefully in their sleep and most do have to be put down at some point for health/mercy reasons. Still, telling the vet, "go ahead and do it" was the worst thing ever. I still feel like we "killed" her even though she was in so much pain and had no quality of life.

So, as much as we loved having her, we are really reluctant to get another dog knowing that 10-12 years down the road this is likely how it will end. How do dog lovers deal with this?

[Anonymous]

Death is part of the life cycle, OP.

[Anonymous]

If you love the companionship of dogs you have to accept that their lifespan is not that of a human. We just lost our 12 year old dog (we've also put down our 14 year old lab and 12 year old lab within the last few years). After this last death we got a puppy within a few weeks and a few people seemed shocked like we were quick to replace our dog. I don't look at the new guy as a replacement per se. Dogs are individuals. But I do always want a dog in my life. I love them! They are replaceable but each one is loved individually. Suffering loss would be a lot easier if people could be placed as easily as dogs but they are not. I'm sorry for your loss but get another dog! You have an opening for one!!

[Anonymous]

Dogs are awesome!

It is unfortunate that their life cycle progresses much faster than ours. They become such a part of our family. We laugh at their puppy antics and 'survive' destructive adolescent issues. We enjoy and become accustomed to their unconditional love, and companionship though their adult years. Then we have to watch them age, and acknowledge that it is inevitable that soon we will have to make that difficult decision. As heart wrenching as it is, I view it as a duty; A show of appreciation and respect for their unfailing loyalty to let them go in peace and relieve them of their suffering,when it is their time. Anything else would just be plain selfish.

OP you ask "How do dog lovers deal with this?". I hate to break it to you, but you are one of us! Our dogs are not mearly possessions. They are integral part of our family. It is a huge loss when the die. We cry, we mourn, we accept .We remember them- Tell the funny stories about their antics to our children...
Sometime later, we do it all over again;because as hard as it is to loose them, they fill a part of our heart .We appreciate them for whatever short time they are with us enriching our lives.

I am so sorry for your loss, and you have my deepest empathy.

[Anonymous]

OP it's all worth it! Just think of the joy she gave you and you can find that in a new dog.

You gave her a merciful death. My grandpa recently died of cancer and it was absolutely awful. The only way he was okay with it was for the pain meds. Dogs can't tell you about their pain and it would be much, much worse to have to see them in pain like that.

PS smaller dogs do live longer. Mine have averaged 15-19 years.

[Anonymous]

When we think of our pets' deaths, we feel very sad. When we think of their lives and the adorable/sweet/loving/loyal/protective things they did, we feel joy.

[Anonymous]

Our house doesn't feel like a home without a dog. I am grateful that we were able to euthanize our dog (6 years ago, but I still can't write about it without tears), rather than have him suffer any longer. Having watched my cousin die of cancer at 22, I wish we were able to be as humane to humans.

When selecting our next dog, I was very conscious of not replacing our first. I wanted a dog I could love separately, with a different personality, yet still a good and loving temperament.

I think it also helps to think that your late beloved dog would want you to provide a loving home to another dog. There are so many who need homes, and you can offer that.

If one of your parents dies, you will probably want the survivor to find love again at some point, even if there is a very good chance that one will outlive the other.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DH and I had to put our first dog to sleep last fall. We got her right when we got married and she was our "first baby." Having her put to sleep was heartbreaking and nothing I ever imagined. At the time, the vet told us that very few dogs die peacefully in their sleep and most do have to be put down at some point for health/mercy reasons. Still, telling the vet, "go ahead and do it" was the worst thing ever. I still feel like we "killed" her even though she was in so much pain and had no quality of life.

So, as much as we loved having her, we are really reluctant to get another dog knowing that 10-12 years down the road this is likely how it will end. How do dog lovers deal with this?

OP-since you stated 10-12 years your dog was elderly. I still miss my childhood dog and dogs I have had as an adult. The vet is correct - you made the compassionate choice. Vets do NOT want to do this and it is done as a last recourse.

[Anonymous]

It helped me that we had our dog put to sleep at home. I held her on the bed, it didn't feel like I was killing her. I knew it was time. We got another dog from a rescue about two weeks later when I was ready. I couldn't ever get a similar breed again though.

[Anonymous]

Give it a few months before you even think about it. Don't try to figure it out now. It actually is a lot like having a second child - believing you can't love them as much as the first, but you will. As for the future - well, the future is the future - you will be different, the dog will be different. It's not going to be a replay.

The dog you carried into the vet that sad day is not the same dog you are missing.

You are exactly the kind of person who should own a dog. Don't sell yourself short. You can handle it.

[Anonymous]

Good question, OP, and condolences. I had to do the same thing in 2009 to the love of my life, a golden mix, and I'm still not ready for a new dog. Same for my parents, who lost our beloved family dog in 2004 - they still don't have the heart to get another. It's heartbreaking. Time will tell you when and if you're ready. Best wishes.

[Anonymous]

OP, I am sorry you are sad. I cried for years and years over the loss of my childhood dog who meant the world to me. I later adopted a dog with my husband and she filled my heart with so much joy. I still miss and think of my first dog but the pain is much less and I know that when I need to let this sweet girl go, there will be another dog out there waiting to join our family. I really think that it was not until we adopted our current dog that I was able to start letting go of the sadness of losing the first. As a PP said, I am honoring her memory by continuing to be a loving pet owner. Hugs.