How to leave a book club nicely

[Anonymous]

Does anybody have suggestions for how to do this without hurting feelings? I've been a member of this book club for several years. Recently they've been exclusively focused on a particular type of book that appeals to me in a sort of general interest way, but every month for the past year, which is what has happened. My suggestions to read other things have been outvoted numerous times. DH and I socialize with one of the members but not the others, who are perfectly nice people, but as I say, a little obsessed when it comes to book topics. I'm thinking a white lie along the lines of, "I'm just too busy to read at all these days!" Any other ideas?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Does anybody have suggestions for how to do this without hurting feelings? I've been a member of this book club for several years. Recently they've been exclusively focused on a particular type of book that appeals to me in a sort of general interest way, but every month for the past year, which is what has happened. My suggestions to read other things have been outvoted numerous times. DH and I socialize with one of the members but not the others, who are perfectly nice people, but as I say, a little obsessed when it comes to book topics. I'm thinking a white lie along the lines of, "I'm just too busy to read at all these days!" Any other ideas?

^^^ but *not* every month for the past year

[Anonymous]

Yep, you're just too busy is fine.

[Anonymous]

Too busy is the standard excuse, go ahead, it's fine.

[Anonymous]

Too busy is fine, you could also taper - so you can't make it one month, then you go, then you miss two months, then you say wow, i can't believe it's been so long, I just really need to take one obligation off my plate, sorry.

[Anonymous]

Yeah, tapering might be the way to go. In my book club, not all the members make it every month, and a couple have just stopped coming/dropped out without saying anything. No one minds, we're all parents of young children so we get it. Live gets busy. Unless your group is particularly catty, I wouldn't worry about it.

[Anonymous]

OP here. I like the tapering idea. Thanks!

[Anonymous]

Personally, I'd say fish or cut bait. Saying you don't have the time is fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I like the tapering idea. Thanks!

You sound like a weak person.

[Anonymous]

Tapering is rude. Just say you are too busy and be upfront

[Anonymous]

I'd try tapering first because you may miss it! I see that you've been going for several years? Maybe other members will get tired of this topic soon too. I left my beloved bookclub when I moved years ago haven't been able to find a good one since.

[Anonymous]

What's wrong with telling the truth? "I love you guys, but the focus on only realistic fiction that borders on Fifty Shades of Grey-style porn is just not for me. So I'd still love to get together with you socially, but the book club just isn't for me anymore."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I like the tapering idea. Thanks!

You sound like a weak person.

You sound like an angry person who takes it out on strangers. You're welcome!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Tapering is rude. Just say you are too busy and be upfront

Why so? Serious question.

[Anonymous]

They probably suspect you aren't "all in". I'd send a very brief email saying you are focusing on other activities, mention no specifics, don't mention genre conflicts. Then send an additional email to the couple you like most saying you hope to keep in touch - then, important - do it. Extend an invitation to them very soon.

Keep the other members on your Christmas card list if you want, or call them 2x/year to check in if you feel there's something there. You can see if those relationships go anywhere - or they can let you know if the group has changed in any profound way.