mother can't stop lecturing even when her kids are well into adulthood

[Anonymous]

I'm at a point where I simply cannot have a normal conversation with my mother unless it's about health issues. And if it's not health issues, the conversation is a direct or indirect lecture from her. For example, DH and I have moved twice in the past five years due to work (we now have a baby). We've handled the moves fine, and DS is too young to feel the impact other than being in a new room. Since our first move, my mother has gone on and one about the importance of raising your child in a stable home and not moving "all over the place like gypsies." Then she pulls the one story she knows about a family with messed up kids out of her stash of anecdotes and insists the kids are messed up because the parents moved them too many times. The whole talk pretty much feels like she's reading me a high school essay she wrote about why it's important to give your child a stable home in a nice neighborhood. I wouldn't be surprised if she reads off notes.

My DH has noticed this too. A lot of times when they visit I hear her lecturing him one some topic. He usually just sits there and nods. Topics have included why religion is important, why their political views are superior, why their neighborhood is so wonderful (because if we do have to move again, then move to where they live because no other place in America is as wonderful as their overpriced surburb).

I know, I know. This is how she is and she's not going to change. I just can't imagine going on this way. It's becoming more than annoying; it's infantalizing. None of what she says is very useful nor from her own life experience. It's all anecdotes that point toward why she is correct about something. Honestly, I'm not going to change my whole life because your friend so and so's daughter did XZY and it didn't work out for her.

Lately I've had to cut the number of times I talk to her down to 1x per week. It's all I can handle. She's getting older, more bored (she's retired and doesn't exercise, travel a lot, join clubs, etc) and needier. The only solace I have is that we live 100 miles away.

[Anonymous]

I talk to my mother less than once a week.

[Anonymous]

Booze makes dealing with assholes soo much easier.
Keep your kid far away from this shit.

[Anonymous]

Old People

[Anonymous]

Tell her if she starts lecturing you, you will hang up or end the conversation. Then do it.