My mother sent me a mothers day card - is this manipulation?
![[Post New]](/jforum/templates/default/images/icon_minipost_new.gif){kind=icon}
Anonymous
| My mother abandoned me when I was in 5th grade. She is now alone (no more men to chase) and wants someone to listen to her problems (she turns all conversations back to her). I don't send her mother's day cards or gifts for the obvious reason. It makes me uncomfortable that she sent me a card (but forgot my child's birthday) and keeps wishing me a happy mother's day (early). I feel like she is doing this to try to guilt me into doing something for her. |
Anonymous
| Eh. No way of knowing for sure. Just say thank you and move on. |
Anonymous
| Why not give her the benefit of the doubt? |
Anonymous
| Agree with just ignoring it and not letting her pull you in. |
Anonymous
+1 She may be doing a C- job of trying to make peace. You are a mother. It is your day. "Thanks for the card. That was kind." FWIW< I am sorry you came up short in the mom lottery. |
Anonymous
This would be my guess. |
Anonymous
| BS If she wanted to get back on your good graces really...she would find another holiday. This is 100 percent manipulation. |
Anonymous
| Just don't take the bait. Thank her and change the subject. |
Anonymous
| Yeah I wouldn't worry about whether it's manipulation- that will just consume your thoughts and you need your thoughts to take care of your kid! Just say thank you, but do take about 10 minutes (no more) to prepare your response if and when May 11 rolls around and Mommy dearest asks "where was MY Mother's Day card?" You may just be pleasantly surprised if she doesn't ask. |
Anonymous
| I'm the one who just posted- I do want to add that Mother's Day is stressful for me every year. I feel forced to be saccharin to a mom who also abandoned me emotionally and to some degree physically. Even so, the foundations of the holiday are good if American Greetings has made it all about manipulation and money. So in the spirit of Mother's Day's original intentions, I try to find what can truly be appreciated about my mom. If she is still in your life, there has to be SOMEthing. Recognize that her manipulation can be a byproduct of a real hurt in her past. That doesn't make it easy on us, but we can take a day to think hard about something good about mom and jot it in a note. Nothing wrong with searching for what you can be grateful for- in fact, it can add to long life. That being said, please know that I understand how difficult it can be. I obviously don't know the details of your situation, but based on what you wrote, I feel like I can relate to you. I also understand not wanting to send anything. Mother's Day is associated with such over-glorification of Mothers that I can understand wanting to avoid the holiday completely. |
Anonymous
+1000 |