I envy those who have good relationships with their parents (especially their mother)

[Anonymous]

My father died when I was young.

And my mother and I have a bad relationship. She is always angry and yelling all the time. She doesn't just yell at me, though.

Trust me, I've tried everything to try to get her to change, and I've also tried evaluating how I am toward her. It's all been in vain, though---because she's still the same.

[Anonymous]

How old are you?

[Anonymous]

Just a warning - in a couple minutes you're going to attract the "Therapy, stat." poster.

I say that lovingly of course.

[Anonymous]

I really had to mourn not having the relationship with my mother I (and she) thought we would have once I became an adult. It's a long, long mourning period.

I keep a window open just in case, but each time we see each other I remember why I closed the door and instituted all the boundaries I've thrown up to protect myself.

[Anonymous]

I am sorry you are going through this and I am sorry about losing yorur father. Did she yell before your father passed? Did you all have a good relationship prior?

Yes, ignore the therapy Sayers.

[Anonymous]

Op, I have the opposite scenaria, same issue.

My mother died when I was young, and my father and I aren't close. Dad and I get along -- he's a perfectly nice guy -- but not a lot of emotional bonding going on between us. It makes me sad not to have that in my life with a parent.

I don't have any answers. I've built a life with others (husband, kids, in laws) I'm emotionally close to. I've tried to move on. I've even talked about this in therapy. It is what it is. On bad days I try to remember that every single person I've ever met has some challenges to deal with in their life. I try to count my blessings for what I do have in abundance. I also sometimes just let myself be sad without judging myself negatively for it. I find this sometimes is better than trying to "get over" the feeling. I just accept it and it passes.

Wishing you peace and happiness, OP.

[Anonymous]

I envy those too... I have a baby and have no support outside of DH. It's really hard.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I really had to mourn not having the relationship with my mother I (and she) thought we would have once I became an adult. It's a long, long mourning period.

I keep a window open just in case, but each time we see each other I remember why I closed the door and instituted all the boundaries I've thrown up to protect myself.

+1 sometimes I still get sad about the relationship we never had/will never have but I am not in tears about it constantly like I was when I was mourning it. Sometimes it makes me sad to know the relationship others have with their parents that I don't have, but I try not to compare because it is a slippery slope.