Do Players Ever Change?

[Anonymous]

These guys who are pick-up artists, hooking up with different girls all the time, do they ever fall in love? What happens to them when they get older, they just segueway into dirty old men? Or do their needs change at some point?

As a female former player, I've found that I went through a domestic period, and now that that's done I'm wishing I could go back to the old ways.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:These guys who are pick-up artists, hooking up with different girls all the time, do they ever fall in love? What happens to them when they get older, they just segueway into dirty old men? Or do their needs change at some point?

As a female former player, I've found that I went through a domestic period, and now that that's done I'm wishing I could go back to the old ways.

This used to be two of my good friends. As their other friends started to get into serious relationships, get married, have kids, etc., they realized that maybe that was something they should consider. One is very happily married with a kid on the way. The other has been in a couple of serious relationships but has not felt they can make the commitment of marriage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:These guys who are pick-up artists, hooking up with different girls all the time, do they ever fall in love? What happens to them when they get older, they just segueway into dirty old men? Or do their needs change at some point?

As a female former player, I've found that I went through a domestic period, and now that that's done I'm wishing I could go back to the old ways.

First off, you can probably have sex with a large number of women if you want, but you're not going to be very happy. A good friend of mine used to be in the movie business. It was ridiculous how in every film he would sleep with at least one woman on the crew. And before that, he never actively went to bars trolling for women, but he comes off as very easy to talk to, girls trust him, and his stories are endless..... Fast forward today, he is married with two daughters and will tell you that he doesn't miss anything from the past at all.

Well if you are looking to get back to your old ways, very easy for any woman to get picked up, but hope you are not married and ready to take a poor husband through the ringer.

[Anonymous]

No

[Anonymous]

Rarely.

[Anonymous]

They change at 40 (in the DC area) when they decide they want a family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They change at 40 (in the DC area) when they decide they want a family.

Suppose I was a guy turning 40 and decided to start a family. So if it takes a couple of years to find someone to get engaged. Then two years of marriage + 9 months of pregnancy to have a child, that means first kid at 45? Sorry, don't want to be over 60 with kids still in HS. That doesn't sound so great.

[Anonymous]

Do you know how many people are happily married to former players, male and female? Quite a f%cking few. Go tell all those smiling loving happy couples that people can't change and see what they say.

[Anonymous]

No.

[Anonymous]

Sometimes they change after getting aids

[Anonymous]

You could probably say that my DH is a former player. He's a wonderful human being and never deceived anyone as far as I know but he was never ready to settle down, had tons of girl friends and lovers and broke a few hearts along the way. But he changed at some point and when we met he was 100% committed to our relationship from the very beginning. He just says that he hadn't met the right person. Now we're married with two kids. Both of us are a bit older than the norm but we are very happy.

[Anonymous]

i have a guy friend, former semi-pro ball player. he ran through women his entire 20s and i couldn't imagine him ever settling down. cheated on every "gf". he met someone at 31 and this dude is a whole nother person now. when he hangs with the fellas, you would think he's afraid of women now. he's married now with 2 kids (his wife had a kid already) and totally faithful. he doesn't want to cheat.

so i guess there are exceptions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you know how many people are happily married to former players, male and female? Quite a f%cking few. Go tell all those smiling loving happy couples that people can't change and see what they say.

Agreed. Although you're trying to suggest the number is "many," the real figure amounts to "so very few." And it's usually temporary. They usually revert to their player ways.

[Anonymous]

Pp here. Often the "player" just hasn't met the right person yet. I think my dh was like his until we met. And I've seen so many guys who are supposedly "committment phobes" morph into devoted husbands when they meet Ms. Right.

[Anonymous]

Then why don't you OP? I mean, if you have already raised your children, then why not have some more fun? I am sure there are still some wild oats left in ya to sow and you only live once. Better to do it sooner because later may be too late if you know what I mean. You aren't getting any younger...

I think men like to have fun in their youth because it takes them much longer to mature than women. Then when they finally mature and meet the right woman, I think they can settle down, but whether they can stay w/just one woman is hard to say. I don't know if ANY man out there can stay w/just ONE lady. Former player or not.

Boys will always be boys. Always.