Anyone have their adopted child attend an Asian attachment specialist/therapist?

[Anonymous]

Would that create a bigger problem- being Asian and adopted too? My son is Korean and going through puberty and identity issues at the same time. I was given the name of an Asian adoption therapist but don't trust the reference--- because I feel most, if not all adopted kids have some issues- this therapist might have some residue from their own adoption. Who have you turned to for attachment problems.

[Anonymous]

Why do you assume the therapist is adopted?

[Anonymous]

Why don't you call and interview the person to see their thoughts and practice style?

[Anonymous]

Are you the type of AP who thinks adoptees won't have any questions or identity issues unless someone puts ideas into their heads? Are you so insecure in your parenting that you fear having your child talk to someone who might actually relate to him will cause him to turn away from you? If you think of this from the adoptee's perspective, don't you think it would help him to talk to someone who has been in his situation? "residue from their own adoption"? Seriously? Residue?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you the type of AP who thinks adoptees won't have any questions or identity issues unless someone puts ideas into their heads? Are you so insecure in your parenting that you fear having your child talk to someone who might actually relate to him will cause him to turn away from you? If you think of this from the adoptee's perspective, don't you think it would help him to talk to someone who has been in his situation? "residue from their own adoption"? Seriously? Residue?

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Would that create a bigger problem- being Asian and adopted too? My son is Korean and going through puberty and identity issues at the same time. I was given the name of an Asian adoption therapist but don't trust the reference--- because I feel most, if not all adopted kids have some issues- this therapist might have some residue from their own adoption. Who have you turned to for attachment problems.

[Anonymous]

Generally I believe therapists are required to receive therapy as part of their training. Presumably, any "residue" from the therapist's adoption (assuming the therapist was adopted -- not sure how you know that) would have been addressed during his or her training therapy.

I would think the therapist's first-person experience coming to terms with his or her adoption would be invaluable as far as enabling the therapist to empathize with your son's experience and give him tools to hande whatever he's going through. I would also think it might give the therapist more credibility with your son.

[Anonymous]

http://adoptionsupport.org/

Have you tried C.A.S.E.?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:http://adoptionsupport.org/

Have you tried C.A.S.E.?

Second that.

[Anonymous]

I'm not adopted, nor have I adopted, but I'm thinking that if one is adopted, one would naturally start having identity issues eventually, more so if one is from a different ethnicity/country. I'm Asian, and if I were adopted I would def. have questions/issues, esp. if my adoptive parents were not Asian. I'm not knockin' your parenting or that you love your DC. I'm just thinking how I would feel if I were your DC. I am sure you know it is not a reflection of you as a parent, but rather the questions your DC has about himself.

[Anonymous]

I don't concede that "most" adopted kids (even internationally adopted) have "identity issues". I have a number of close friends who were adopted. Only one seems have any "issues" relating to her adoption. The only people who seem to have the issues (per my friends) are their spouses, in-laws, occasionally friends, and too often strangers who feel they have the right to opine on what they should be or should have felt about their adoption. With that said, OP, if your child is struggling (whether the identity issues relates to his adoption or just the general angst of adolescence) you really need to get him some help. It is prudent for you to interview what ever therapist your child sees and also to address your own insecurities or fears about your child's development. Best wishes for you both.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't concede that "most" adopted kids (even internationally adopted) have "identity issues". I have a number of close friends who were adopted. Only one seems have any "issues" relating to her adoption. The only people who seem to have the issues (per my friends) are their spouses, in-laws, occasionally friends, and too often strangers who feel they have the right to opine on what they should be or should have felt about their adoption. With that said, OP, if your child is struggling (whether the identity issues relates to his adoption or just the general angst of adolescence) you really need to get him some help. It is prudent for you to interview what ever therapist your child sees and also to address your own insecurities or fears about your child's development. Best wishes for you both.

I agree. I'm an Asian adoptee, though not a therapist. I don't have any "issues." Has adoption impacted my life? Of course. But identity issues? No. OP, I wouldn't assume that all adoptees have such issues.