Am I the Only One Thrilled to Have an Average Child?

[Anonymous]

Some of these threads make me wonder if there's something wrong with me being okay that my child is quite typical and average.

DS is wonderful, smart, funny, socially adept but somewhat lazy both academically and personally. He half-asses his chores; his cleaning never measures up to my standard of cleanliness. He gets good grades but won't overexert himself. AP? What's that? IB? Why?

In short, he's that typical lazy teen boy you see on sitcoms. He was accepted at several state universities with merit scholarships to boot. But there was no way the Ivies were going to target him in their mailings.

He needs to get on the ball with some things for sure. But he's 18 and will grow into greater maturity and responsibility just like I did. Truth is, he's light years ahead of where he was at my age. And I turned out quite well.

I realize this is a different time. College admissions is a cut-throat game, etc. But some on his board seem to promote the notion that a child must be enrolled in all APs, play sports every season on top of a ton of ECs and a part-time job. Then said child must major in STEM. Anything else will produce an unproductive lazy ass who ends of living in his parents' basement.

I'll add to my DS's list of failings: He's planning to major in Art. He's an unbelievable talent and I advised him to follow his passions.

Is there something wrong with me?

[Anonymous]

Parent the child you have, not the one you wish for.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Parent the child you have, not the one you wish for.

Which is exactly what I've been doing, and it's been a blast!

Part of me wonders if I should've nudged him in the direction of a more "serious" career path/major early on. My approach to parenting was EXPOSURE. I exposed him to different things and left it up to him to find his way. And he will. Clumsily and having fun the whole time, but it will be HIS way. The one that he can live with. The one that will make him happy. And one thing I can say about my dear lazy son is that he's a happy kid. In the end, with all the cutting, teen suicides, etc I read about everyday, that's more important than much else.

[Anonymous]

I'm thrilled your child is average too. Because that means mine is BETTER than yours.




j/k

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm thrilled your child is average too. Because that means mine is BETTER than yours.




j/k

YES!

AND that must mean you're a better parent than me as well!

But in the end, as long as we're all happy in our lanes, does it really matter?

[Anonymous]

It sounds like you are an amazing mom op for seeing who you kid is and loving him and embracing him.
Rock on!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm thrilled your child is average too. Because that means mine is BETTER than yours.

YES!

AND that must mean you're a better parent than me as well!

But in the end, as long as we're all happy in our lanes, does it really matter?

I'm an effortlessly better parent.

My only concern with the Art major is career after graduation. By all means, use that artistic ability in a "real" job while the starving artist thing takes off. My kids are only 16 and 14 so I'm not there yet. But I agree with you- be happy and don't worry about "success" so much.

[Anonymous]

Your son is likely to go on to be more successful in life than many of the Ivy grads. Kids with Bs and Cs who are socially adept and have great personalities do well in life. Even better if he is creative.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your son is likely to go on to be more successful in life than many of the Ivy grads. Kids with Bs and Cs who are socially adept and have great personalities do well in life. Even better if he is creative.

+1

[Anonymous]

I agree. My parents don't get it at all-- they think I need to push my dd more in everything. She's 8 and doing really well, but (in their minds) not as well as she *could* be doing. Sigh.

I think she'll be awesome at life because she enjoys herself so much.

[Anonymous]

Sorry to rain on your parade but your child is not average at all; he's above average just not outstanding or exceptional. You don't know what an average 18-yo HS kid has in front of them.

[Anonymous]

As the parent of a SN kid I would say I would love to have an average kid! Sounds like you guys are in a good place. Enjoy it.

[Anonymous]

As the parent of a SN kid I would say I would love to have an average kid! Sounds like you guys are in a good place. Enjoy it.

[Anonymous]

OP here.

Thank you guys for all the responses.

Have you seen the Swifter commercial with the AA mom and son? Son is sitting on the sofa eating a sandwich (which looks like it has potato chips on it), takes a bite, sends potato chips and food all over the floor as mom narrates that her son never cleans up after himself. Then, as they sit on the sofa, Mom says "He'll never get a wife" and son is like, "Uh, okay. Whatevs. Who cares?" THAT IS SO MY SON!!! The commercial just came on and made me laugh because that's him. And as he's preparing to leave home for college, I've come to realize that "Okay. Whatever" is one of the things I find funniest about him. Someday he'll be a parent who's annoyed at his children not cleaning up after themselves too. But for now, he's an 18 year old kid.

Now, I'm off to pick up the silly little goose who lost his car privileges because he hasn't kept up with cleaning it each weekend. If you can't clean it. Don't drive it! I'm certain when he gets his keys back, that car with receive a spit shine every day. He hates being held captive in my car, forced to listen to whatever I have to say.

Enjoy these moments! And laugh at 'em from time to time.

You know you want to!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Some of these threads make me wonder if there's something wrong with me being okay that my child is quite typical and average.

DS is wonderful, smart, funny, socially adept but somewhat lazy both academically and personally. He half-asses his chores; his cleaning never measures up to my standard of cleanliness. He gets good grades but won't overexert himself. AP? What's that? IB? Why?

In short, he's that typical lazy teen boy you see on sitcoms. He was accepted at several state universities with merit scholarships to boot. But there was no way the Ivies were going to target him in their mailings.

He needs to get on the ball with some things for sure. But he's 18 and will grow into greater maturity and responsibility just like I did. Truth is, he's light years ahead of where he was at my age. And I turned out quite well.

I realize this is a different time. College admissions is a cut-throat game, etc. But some on his board seem to promote the notion that a child must be enrolled in all APs, play sports every season on top of a ton of ECs and a part-time job. Then said child must major in STEM. Anything else will produce an unproductive lazy ass who ends of living in his parents' basement.

I'll add to my DS's list of failings: He's planning to major in Art. He's an unbelievable talent and I advised him to follow his passions.

Is there something wrong with me?

Then he's not "average." What is this, a humblebrag?