Spilled the beans too soon. What now?
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Anonymous
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I posted before that I'm quitting my job with an employer who is toxic. He has a high turnover of employees and contractors because no one can stand him for long and whenever he's given advance notice that someone is resigning, he'll go out of his way to cause them embarrassment on the way out. So I decided to not give notice (or maybe just a few days). Then last week something happened (due to his usual bad attitude) and I told him that I'm going to quit and mentioned the exact date that will be my last. That was a mistake. I am 100% certain that as soon as he finds a replacement, he will say or do something to try and humiliate me. I'm definitely still quitting and I don't mind that he knows that but I just didn't want him to know exactly when until right before the day.
If I can figure out a way to muddy the waters about the date I've given him then it will work out fine as he probably can't enact whatever punishment he's planning. With previous employees who have quit, he's always wreaked his "revenge" during the last few days. Let's say that I've told him I'm leaving with 2 weeks notice and an exact date. I'm thinking of telling him now that instead of quitting in 2 weeks, I'll leave in 4 weeks. Then around the 3 week mark, I'll tell him that I'm taking vacation for the remaining time. Does that sound reasonable? What would I tell him now, is the reason for changing the date? I don't want him to think that I'm staying longer because I don't have a choice as that's not the reason. Any other ideas/advice? |
Anonymous
| Leave in two weeks, that is reasonable. |
Anonymous
| I think that's a bad idea. If anything it will encourage him to be nasty to you if you say you are leaving on a date certain and then change the date. Either way, you're likely to incur his wrath, but changing the date will only ensure that it happens. |
Anonymous
| At this point, he knows you are leaving. No point in trying to play head games with him, that will only make him nastier. If he is mean to you, suck it up and wait out your time. Ignore him. |
Anonymous
| If you know that your boss humiliates people who are about to leave, prepare for it. Tie up the loose ends on the work stuff and prepare some smart repartees if he tries to insult you in front of other people or management. |
Anonymous
| Work from home the last few days |
Anonymous
| I second 11:08 - work from home or take your last vacation days or, even better, call out sick (from the anxiety you have about him wreaking havoc on you). Now that you've spilled the beans, talk to HR about what exact steps you need to do to close up shop, stay late to finish your transition memos and whatever else you need to do, lock in your references from co-workers and say your goodbyes now so that you can leave if things get rough. Or if you can't take days, keep your door locked or work in a different cube for the last few days. |
Anonymous
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how does he humiliate them? I can't understand what an employer could do to somebody (that would be legal) that wouldn't just be them humiliating themselves. any examples of what's happened so we can give advice on how to avoid?
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Anonymous
| if you work for a small company, don't expect to get paid for those vacation days. |
Anonymous
Agree. You're trying to control someone who won't be controlled. Just accept that he is an asshole and everyone in your office knows it. |
Anonymous
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You are leaving. Sounds like his problem, not yours. Now that you are leaving and have a definite date maybe he won't be able to get under your skin as much.
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Anonymous
| What could he possibly do to humiliate you/anyone on the way out? You should have the "see ya suckers" mentality by then ... and assuming you were a decent employee there shouldn't be any skeletons in the closet. Just stick with your plan and hold your head up high as you tell him to kiss you a$$ while you walk out the door. |
Anonymous
This. My husband worked for someone like this, and everyone knew what he was like, so people just felt bad for the victims because the boss was a jerk. If the boss truly is a jackass, no one will think less of the OP. |
Anonymous
IF there is an HR department, you should document this with them. OR go talk to them before hand and say he's done this with other employees and you fear he will do it to you. Bosses like that are playing with fire. They will push the wrong person too far and unfortunately, innocent bystanders can end up getting hurt. I would think HR would want to know about this type of situation so they can address the boss's attitude. |
Anonymous
| Can you rig up a nanny cam in your office? Get his stupid ass on tape and teach him a lesson. |