Concerned about my adult daughter

[Anonymous]

I have a 28 year old daughter, she has a degree and has been working with the same employer since college graduation. The job doesn't pay much, so she relocated to the south. She has been having trouble finding a better job since she's relocated. I cannot afford to help her financially out if she comes home. She says she likes where she is living. Although she's broke and can't afford to live on her own. Otherwise, she's unhappy. She hasn't been in a relationship at all and doesn't really have friends. She always seems sad when we talk. I just don't know how to help her.

[Anonymous]

Who does she live with?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Who does she live with?

she recently moved in with a roommate. She was living with relatives previously.

[Anonymous]

Can she move back home with you?

[Anonymous]

She can move home. She doesn't want to because it's expensive here.

[Anonymous]

She's 28. It's no longer your job to fix her life for her. When she calls home, just listen. If she asks for advice, give it. If you are worried about depression, advise her to seek a counselor.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She's 28. It's no longer your job to fix her life for her. When she calls home, just listen. If she asks for advice, give it. If you are worried about depression, advise her to seek a counselor.

+1

Struggling through being broke and finding a job is part of being in your 20s. If you don't let her find her way, she'll never find her way.

[Anonymous]

Sigh, I have the same question about my 26 year old brother. I wish he could move in with me but I know DC is not a good fit for him and he'd be miserable here. I love him so much and it's so hard to watch him flail around. If you figure something out, let me know...

[Anonymous]

She needs to find her own way, even if that means struggling or failing for a while. That's part of life.

[Anonymous]

Helicopter, stop hovering.

[Anonymous]

When I was in my 20's, I had a full time job AND a part time job at night and on weekends. I believe my free time consisted of Friday nights, Saturday mornings, and Sunday evenings. That's it.

Maybe she needs to get a part-time job.

OP, it's okay for young adults to struggle and claw their way up in life. She needs to figure this out for herself. You can't swoop in and fix everything. You need to have confidence that your parenting was good enough that she can coast on it, basically for all of her adult life, and that you taught her to think critically and make wise decisions.

[Anonymous]

What field?

We have to get used to the fact that the US won't be the job nirvana it once was.
She has to keep looking (DH took 18 months to find a new job when he lost his).
As for friends, remember she just moved. If she is introverted it will take longer.

[Anonymous]

She works for a bank, but she's willing to do anything that will give her a pay increase as long as she's qualified for the job.

[Anonymous]

You are already helping by listening to her and being there for her.

Living with a roommate is fine.

I am older than her and I am broke too.

[Anonymous]

She used to have so much ambition and motivation, I'm just not used to her feeling this way.