How much notice for friend visiting from out of town?

[Anonymous]

If you work and have a "busy" job -- i.e. meetings/calls all day so you can't just say last minute "I'm going to step out to lunch for an hour," as it affects everyone else's schedule -- how much notice would you want if a friend is planning to be in town and would like to meet up with you for drinks/dinner/lunch? I'm going to be in Atlanta for a business trip for a few days in May, where a good friend of mine lives/works. I'll only be in town midweek unfortunately, and I'm certainly not staying with my friend or anything. I'd just like to get on her calendar for an hour or two, since we've chatted a lot by phone lately as we've both supported each other through job stuff. I tend to be very last minute - as in "hey I'm in town this week, any chance you can do lunch or drinks on Tues or Wed," as I hate to disappoint if plans change. But for someone who is constantly crazed, is it better to get in touch a few weeks in advance and actually get something on a calendar? It seems so formal to me. What do you prefer?

[Anonymous]

I would give her a few weeks notice. Something like "I'm going to be in town on business from XX to XX. Love to see you if you're available, but I know your schedule is pretty crazy. Do you want to try to plan something now, or is it better for you to get back to me the week of to let me know if you'll have time to get together?"

Then touch base occasionally as the dates get closer and be prepared for either your job or hers to throw a major curveball and have plans change even the night of.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would give her a few weeks notice. Something like "I'm going to be in town on business from XX to XX. Love to see you if you're available, but I know your schedule is pretty crazy. Do you want to try to plan something now, or is it better for you to get back to me the week of to let me know if you'll have time to get together?"

Then touch base occasionally as the dates get closer and be prepared for either your job or hers to throw a major curveball and have plans change even the night of.

This works though I don't know if I'd keep getting in touch as the dates get closer. If she wants to plan it closer to your trip -- you can say "ok -- I'll be in touch the week of my trip and then get in touch before you fly out (or let her know if the trip suddenly got changed or something." It would be odd to keep saying -- ok, well May 10 still works for me, how about you.

[Anonymous]

I'm in this kind of job and while there are always emergencies that pop up, if someone gets in touch with me 2-3 weeks in advance, I am able to look at my calendar and say -- I'll have a dept lunch on Monday, I bet Tues-Wed will be crazy with the project deadline, but Thursday-Friday should be fine -- and tentatively plan something. Sounds like your friend may be in the same position -- if she puts you down for something, she may be able to block out that time so that if one of her employees asks to have lunch she can say "sorry I have a friend in town today, how's next week." But if you wait and she schedules something, she may not be able to cancel it for you - even if it is something non urgent like a lunch with an employee that could have waited a few days. So I'd get in touch.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would give her a few weeks notice. Something like "I'm going to be in town on business from XX to XX. Love to see you if you're available, but I know your schedule is pretty crazy. Do you want to try to plan something now, or is it better for you to get back to me the week of to let me know if you'll have time to get together?"

Then touch base occasionally as the dates get closer and be prepared for either your job or hers to throw a major curveball and have plans change even the night of.

This works though I don't know if I'd keep getting in touch as the dates get closer. If she wants to plan it closer to your trip -- you can say "ok -- I'll be in touch the week of my trip and then get in touch before you fly out (or let her know if the trip suddenly got changed or something." It would be odd to keep saying -- ok, well May 10 still works for me, how about you.

That's a good point and I think it depends on OP's usual communication style with her friend. Definitely figure out what would be normal versus creepy for the individual friendship and then plan accordingly. If it were me and most of my friends, I would send what I posted above as a text or email in about a week or two, follow up once right before leaving on the trip, and then either my friend or I would send one final "ok, here's the plan as I understand it; any changes?" text on the night before or morning of the planned dinner/cocktails.