My son's kindergarten class has several 7 yr olds in it.

[Anonymous]

I want the schools to change the cut off. At least then we would know what we were getting into.
I have a 5 Year old DS who will start K at a top private. He is my oldest, so I am new to this. No one said a thing about his age during the application process. I was told it was a September cut off, which would make him somewhere in the middle.

If there are already lots of six year olds in his class, I am going to be very disappointed. Although he can probably hold his own, that is an unfair and artificial manipulation of the peer group.
I have Two daughters, ages 3 and 1, and there is no i am sending them to a school where this is rampant. They are April and June birthdays.
Why is no one talking about how this affects the girls? By middle school, this has got to suck for the girls.

[Anonymous]

Do what you wish with your children. That is your prerogative.

[Anonymous]

Frankly, my struggles are with trying to advance my kid for more challenging work rather than holding back or redshirting. Given the child's capability and track record I would not care if his classmates are 3 to 4 years older. No fit issues here. Not the prescription for all kids which explains why these cases are evaluated and handled on an individual basis in order to get the fit right. Some kids benefit from being held back while others benefit from being pushed forward. And others may be in a place that's just right.

[Anonymous]

It appears some parents want to make the call on these decisions for children sharing the same classroom as their own.

I would reject this overture as no parent has any business making a decison about what classroom any other child belongs in based on his chronological age. If this absurd and preposterous policy were instituted then some children, like my own, would be held back or redshirted for 2 to 3 years just to get back to the mean age of classmates.

On the other hand a 6 or 7-year-old that was still bedwetting and could not read would be forced to potentially move to far ahead simply because paranoid parents fear this child would automatically assume the classroom leadership positions, take all the high marks and quarterback the school's K football squad; thereby putting their own child at some disadvantage!

[Anonymous]

Frankly, my struggles are with trying to advance my kid for more challenging work rather than holding back or redshirting. Given the child's capability and track record I would not care if his classmates are 3 to 4 years older. No fit issues here. Not the prescription for all kids which explains why these cases are evaluated and handled on an individual basis in order to get the fit right. Some kids benefit from being held back while others benefit from being pushed forward. And others may be in a place that's just right.

The most important point. Grade placement that is beneficial for the individual child. Such placement has absolutely nothing to do with other kids or nosey, meddling, insecure, paranoid parents. The best individual(s) to make the call/therapy on what is beneficial are the child, parent, physician and school -- not eavesdropping, neurotic mothers with tightly wound anal sphincters and nothing to do with their time but to tabulate the birthdays of their kid's classmates.

Opinion of parent of two children 1 to 2 years younger than their classmates who were "redtrousered" instead of "redshirted" by a collective decision of the school, parents and child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Frankly, my struggles are with trying to advance my kid for more challenging work rather than holding back or redshirting. Given the child's capability and track record I would not care if his classmates are 3 to 4 years older. No fit issues here. Not the prescription for all kids which explains why these cases are evaluated and handled on an individual basis in order to get the fit right. Some kids benefit from being held back while others benefit from being pushed forward. And others may be in a place that's just right.

The most important point. Grade placement that is beneficial for the individual child. Such placement has absolutely nothing to do with other kids or nosey, meddling, insecure, paranoid parents. The best individual(s) to make the call/therapy on what is beneficial are the child, parent, physician and school -- not eavesdropping, neurotic mothers with tightly wound anal sphincters and nothing to do with their time but to tabulate the birthdays of their kid's classmates.

Opinion of parent of two children 1 to 2 years younger than their classmates who were "redtrousered" instead of "redshirted" by a collective decision of the school, parents and child.

Wrong, wrong, wrong. It's a decision made by competitive, nervous parents who are worried because everyone else is doing it. They don't want their child to be the youngest in the class by over a year. I have three kids in private schools and everyone else knows this. Also it helps the schools because they want an even playing field. They want to hold back kids who can't sit still and can't keep up academically. They want to tell prospective families all about their bright kindergarten students who are excelling at reading - and they want to push ahead test scores.

As for physicians - I hope you're not talking about pediatricians. Because I'm friends with several pedis, and they would never, ever get into the issues of redshirting. They say they are not qualified to make decisions like that, unless a child has serious developmental issues. In which case they would normally recommend a specialist or childhood psychologist.

[Anonymous]

Wrong, wrong, wrong. It's a decision made by competitive, nervous parents who are worried because everyone else is doing it. They don't want their child to be the youngest in the class by over a year. I have three kids in private schools and everyone else knows this. Also it helps the schools because they want an even playing field. They want to hold back kids who can't sit still and can't keep up academically. They want to tell prospective families all about their bright kindergarten students who are excelling at reading - and they want to push ahead test scores.

As for physicians - I hope you're not talking about pediatricians. Because I'm friends with several pedis, and they would never, ever get into the issues of redshirting. They say they are not qualified to make decisions like that, unless a child has serious developmental issues. In which case they would normally recommend a specialist or childhood psychologist.



Hi there! Thanks for your post. Our fellow parents on pages 21-22 have friends that tell them to stay away from the people your pediatrician friends tell parents to visit for help. AAAhhh, the truth always prevails in the end. Most pediatricians only assess the delays on the surface, then refer parents to specialist.

Thank you!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

...b]Some kids benefit from being held back while others benefit from being pushed forward. And others may be in a place that's just right.[/b]

The most important point. Grade placement that is beneficial for the individual child. Such placement has absolutely nothing to do with other kids or nosey, meddling, insecure, paranoid parents. The best individual(s) to make the call/therapy on what is beneficial are the child, parent, physician and school -- not eavesdropping, neurotic mothers with tightly wound anal sphincters and nothing to do with their time but to tabulate the birthdays of their kid's classmates.

I totally agree. Each family should decide what's best for its own child. Other families should MYOB.

[Anonymous]

Wrong, wrong, wrong. It's a decision made by competitive, nervous parents who are worried because everyone else is doing it. They don't want their child to be the youngest in the class by over a year. I have three kids in private schools and everyone else knows this. Also it helps the schools because they want an even playing field. They want to hold back kids who can't sit still and can't keep up academically. They want to tell prospective families all about their bright kindergarten students who are excelling at reading - and they want to push ahead test scores.

As for physicians - I hope you're not talking about pediatricians. Because I'm friends with several pedis, and they would never, ever get into the issues of redshirting. They say they are not qualified to make decisions like that, unless a child has serious developmental issues. In which case they would normally recommend a specialist or childhood psychologist.

As a physician redtrousered by a parent physician (psychiatrist) I was "redtrousered" by 2 to 3 years ahead of my classmates. Enjoyed my educational journey without any hiccups.

My children similarly have required redtrousering by 1 to 2 years. Both going to 5th and 2nd with the school still finding a need to subject accelerate in certain subjects.

Despite being both a parent and physician for these kids, from your logic, I am not qualified to make decisions about their need for redshirting or redtrousering. Wrong, wrong, wrong. I am more qualified than you about decisions to hold my child back, move him forward or keep him where he is (in every sense of word, physically, medically, socially and intellectually). You simply are clueless if you think the only information you need to appropriately assign a child a class or grade is his birth certificate...akin to evaluating a patient without performing a history, physical examination and appropriate laboratory investigations ( tests for those petrified by the term) but relying on the age for a diagnosis and therapy.

[Anonymous]

Wrong, wrong, wrong. It's a decision made by competitive, nervous parents who are worried because everyone else is doing it. They don't want their child to be the youngest in the class by over a year. I have three kids in private schools and everyone else knows this. Also it helps the schools because they want an even playing field. They want to hold back kids who can't sit still and can't keep up academically. They want to tell prospective families all about their bright kindergarten students who are excelling at reading - and they want to push ahead test scores.

As for physicians - I hope you're not talking about pediatricians. Because I'm friends with several pedis, and they would never, ever get into the issues of redshirting. They say they are not qualified to make decisions like that, unless a child has serious developmental issues. In which case they would normally recommend a specialist or childhood psychologist.

Yes, there are all sorts of psychotic parents out there who choose certain private schools, classroom assignments and teachers, sports, extracurricular activities for a host of sundry, illogical and unsound reasons. Why should this gossip and bragging about their children's performance affect educational decisions and choices I make for my child. Some of us simply don't care. We don't believe everything we hear from the parents of other children about their children. And we certainly don't whip ourselves up into a cyclone trying to following the "spinning" crowd or keep up with the Jones.

Best prescription is to do what's in the best interest for your child...and not what's in the best interest of other parents and their children. It's simple but it works.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Wrong, wrong, wrong. It's a decision made by competitive, nervous parents who are worried because everyone else is doing it. They don't want their child to be the youngest in the class by over a year. I have three kids in private schools and everyone else knows this. Also it helps the schools because they want an even playing field. They want to hold back kids who can't sit still and can't keep up academically.

A child who can't sit still isn't ready. Why would you want such a child in your DC's class? Why would you want a child who takes a disproportionate amount of the teacher's attention because he wasn't ready to be there? Why wouldn't you want your DC to be in a classroom with children ready to learn?

"Everyone else knows this." They do? How? Do they read the other kids' files? This is urban legend, motivated by mean, competitive parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A dinosaur--as in "very old and very big". For example, "Thanks for sharing with all of us that your 12 year old, 5 1/2 feet tall, 4th grader did well on his test! You must be so proud!"

Oh you are so nasty
for what it is worth, I come from a tall family and my children are tall. You have no reason to say that bigger sized kids are the oldest. And no reason to say I would not have a reason to be proud of my kid. Height differences among kids of a certain age are completely normal. 5 1/2 feet tall at 12 is good and height is nothing to be ashamed of

Crawl back into your cave where you are the tallest among your like-minded friends

[Anonymous]

What purpose is served if a child can't sit still, much less keep up academically with classmates in a particular classroom?

Call it whatever you wish: "redshirt" or redtrouser". If you can't keep up it's not the right fit.

Out of the pool! To the locker room. You're outta here.

Another agreeable class placement is preferable and a better fit. I don't care the date of birth on your certificate or your stated age.

As a school administrator, I would not give a horse's ass for what some psychoneurotic parent with a class roster of birth dates on an Excel spread sheet says. The parent can take her child elsewhere if she doesn't agree or like it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
A dinosaur--as in "very old and very big". For example, "Thanks for sharing with all of us that your 12 year old, 5 1/2 feet tall, 4th grader did well on his test! You must be so proud!"


Oh you are so nasty
for what it is worth, I come from a tall family and my children are tall. You have no reason to say that bigger sized kids are the oldest. And no reason to say I would not have a reason to be proud of my kid. Height differences among kids of a certain age are completely normal. 5 1/2 feet tall at 12 is good and height is nothing to be ashamed of

Crawl back into your cave where you are the tallest among your like-minded friends

Uneducated parents think all 5-year-old are the same: (level of maturation and maturity, size, height, weight, BSA, intelligence, running and swimming skills, same level of reading, typing, writing and mathematical skills).

[Anonymous]

The poster thinks concretely (or with concrete between the ears). Tall means older and therefore higher test scores!

I suspect the poster is short as a pigmy ... of a child's age and not adult age... a low test scorer because she is so short!