switching to a more demanding dream job while going through IVF

[Anonymous]

I am wondering if I am crazy to even be considering this... But, without revealing too much, it looks like I may be offered my dream job just as I am about to start IVF (assuming the two other IUIs with clomid I am trying don't work). I know the obvious thing to do would be to stay at my current (very family friendly) job and hope that another dream job comes along soon, but let's just say that this job is coming along because of certain events on November 4th, and that in two years the job wouldn't really be the same. The job would have long hours but would not involve travel (or if it did, I wouldn't take the job). I was thinking about talking to my possible future boss if I am offered the job and saying that I am undergoing some health treatments and will have to miss a few days of work, but will make up the time. If future boss seems very concerned about that or discouraging, I could always rethink the job offer. Part of me feels that I can't keep putting my life on hold in case I get pregnant. Of course, if I do get pregnant, I will have to deal with being pregnant while working long hours. I am in my early thirties with unexplained infertility (TTC 1.5 years) and if IVF doesn't work we'll try to adopt. Also, my husband's career is not looking very promising right now, so it is important that I invest in my career since he could be without a job soon. For those of you who have done IVF, do you think it's possible to do it with very long hours? Any other advice?

[Anonymous]

I'd say take the job and jump at the opportunity while you can! I went thru IVF with a very stressful job and long hours and made sure my U/S appt.s were early in the morning before I headed to work. Needless to say, my 1st IVF worked at the age of 37.5 years old. I didn't want anyone in my business so I fibbed to my boss about how I had to all of the sudden plan a few days off. I explained the time frame that I'd be out but just told him that my place was being refurnished and that I couldn't predict the days of when I had to be out but that I'd give him a head up. It went very smoothly!

I'm doign another IVF in early Feb. and will have to come up with something else.

GOOD LUCK!!!

[Anonymous]

I recommend taking the job. You cannot put your life on hold just because you are TTC. In fact, not taking the job may put more stress on you as you go thru IVF as there is more pressure to succeed. I switched jobs during IVF and that was the cycle which worked. Not sure how much to tell the boss as it is possible that the days you would need to take off may fall on weekends.

[Anonymous]

Agree with PP and I look at this from 2 perspectives - 1) I did switch dream job while TTC and it actually worked out better for some things in the end. Many facilities have very early appts - you may want to consider switching where you do IVF so the facility is close to home / work. I always tried to get the 7:00 AM appts. 2) I have been in positions that I supervise many people and would always recommend people move on with thier lives as they determine is appropriate - have had women say ' I don't want to get pregnant now b/c I just started' or similiar things - while I understand and can appreciate that - sometimes work and our personal lives just don't match up perfectly. That's life.

[Anonymous]

OP here, thanks for all the advice and encouragement! I am going to GW and their monitoring appointments at from 7-7:45 am, so early morning appointments won't be a problem (plus it is near my current and future office).

[Anonymous]

As long as your new job allows to to make it to the monitoring appointments and to have a day off for retrieval and 1-3 off for transfer (some practices recommend bedrest) then I say go for it! I worked full time in a busy job during my IVF cycle and it was the BEST thing for my mental health. There was so much else on my mind I didn't have time to worry about the IVF cycle.

Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Tell Michelle and Barack we said hi Best of luck!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Tell Michelle and Barack we said hi Best of luck![/quote}]

what's this all about? are michelle and barack doing ivf? lol

[Anonymous]

Take the job. You're in your early 30's so you have plenty of time to work on IVF again and again if necessary. Do a great job andmake yourself indispensable first. Then ask for time off for your 'health' treatments.

[Anonymous]

Absolutely do it!!! When I started treatments, I didn't want anyone in my professional like to know. I ended up transferring jobs to a place walking didtance from my RE's office, which was great during treatment. The job was less intellectually challenging than my previous one, but it had less hours and was in a great location. It allowed me to prepare myself for treatments. Now, I am pregnant and my dilemma is that (1) I am now often bored. I used to spend a lot of time managing my infertility so I liked downtime. Now, when I have it, I feel underemployed. (2) I am not sure I want to go back to a job that doesn't lite my fire. It is a good job, with great people, but I'm not uber-challenged. I can't get a new job now, and I am afraid if I try to be a stay at home mom for a year or two that I won't be able to get into the job market.

Take it. IF is a journey. Make healthy changes, but don't put your dreams on hold.

Congrats and good luck

[Anonymous]

I agree with all the posters that say go for it.

And I wouldn't tell your boss, particularly if you can work from home. I work for a law firm and the younger associates frequently feel they have to tell their bosses every detail of why they have to miss a bit of work. Just say "I have an appointment" or "I will be off tomorrow" etc.

And, the studies show that laying flat doesn't increase chances of having a baby, so think about how much time you really need to take off. Talk with your Dr.

However, if you have a stressful job, you should take as much time off as you can!

Good luck!

[Anonymous]

PP here, realized I shoutld have said that laying flat beyond the recommended 24-48 hours hasn't been shown to improve pregnancy rates. Just talk to your Dr.