Known vs anonymous egg donor?

[Anonymous]

After years of IF treatments using my own, highly problematic eggs - we are starting to talk about DE. My Dr. wants to do 1 more round of iVF with my eggs then she said we could move on to DE.

We are considering. 1:2 share at SG, but I do have a 20 something, healthy cousin in the area for grad school who I thought might consider donating eggs to us. I'm an only child and most of my cousins are in their 40s so my choices of genetically related eggs is slim.

Has anyone had a known donor? Did it cause any long term issues with relationships?

[Anonymous]

Please do not ask your cousin to do this. It is not fair to her. It is one thing if she offers, but do not ask. Use a diner.

[Anonymous]

^^ Agree.

Why do one more cycle with your problematic eggs? How many cycles have you already done?

[Anonymous]

Do not ask someone for an egg. Not fair to put them in that position.

[Anonymous]

I went through this process- at the beginning I thought that having a donor that was a relative would be better but once I got into the process I realized that it really is asking a lot of someone. More than just the meds and the interruption of their life but there are moral / ethical aspects that they need to address psychologically and they will be tied to you / your child in a very close way for your entire lives. It might seem simple but it is far from it. For me I decided to use frozen eggs, which I liked because that meant the eggs came from someone who had already gone through the process of sorting through

[Anonymous]

(oopas

[Anonymous]

OOPS baby keep pressing enter...

...someone who had already gone through the process of sorting things out in her head, and also who finished the physical side of things too. The "only" thing left to do was what my husband and I contributed. I know a lot of people still align cycles with a donor but for me frozen worked best.

[Anonymous]

Frozen also worked for me on the first try. Larger pool, less risk.

[Anonymous]

That's not a fair request of a 20year old grad student. If I were your Aunt you better believe I would ream you out for even putting her in such an awkward position. Your fertility, your burden.

[Anonymous]

I would rather consider a non-related known donor or an unknown donor. It's not good to ask your 20 yr old cousin but let's say you do and she says yes. She is too young to even understand the implications in the future. What if she goes through infertility in later life? How will she look at your child then?
I have read stories on some forums where the young egg donors who donated successfully were unable to conceive naturally when the right time came for them. Ironical.

[Anonymous]

+ 1 for a non-related donor, either known or unknown. Do you think it's possible, OP, that you're still having a hard time giving up a genetic connection? It might be good to sort through those feelings more.

[Anonymous]

We used a known donor. We went through the pool at the clinic but requested a donor who would be willing to be known. It worked out fine.

[Anonymous]

*tap tap tap* Is this thing on?

OP--where did you go? (You're welcome, BTW.)