Worst Date Stories
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Anonymous
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The more hilarious, cringe-worthy, painful and embarrassing, the better.
I took a girl out in college who I really liked. She criticized her food and sent it back, spent all night talking about herself and never once showed interest in me, and eventually went into a rant about her exes and how she knows EXACTLY what she wants now. Total nightmare, and I paid for dinner too. Never again. |
Anonymous
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A guy in college asked me out to dinner and a movie. He picked me up and asked me if I wouldn't mind going back to his place instead - he wanted to cook for me instead. Well...(?)...o.k. So we got to his place and he asked me if we could maybe order something and watch t.v.
Then he asked me if I wouldn't mind taking off my clothes and walking around naked for him...we didn't have to do anything. I RAN for that door. And I mean RAN... |
Anonymous
| I went out with a guy who used a groupon to pay the bill (fine, whatev) and then asked me to split the BILL (not the groupon amount, like the actual bill) and when I did the math I figured he would actually make money on taking me out! AHHHHHH |
Anonymous
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I have a very attractive, very successful friend (40s), who is back in the dating game after a divorce. Grown up kids, not looking for marriage or kids, but a loving monogamous relationship. Her dating stories are so hilarious that she can write a best-seller.
Her date (well established, DCUM type, older divorced man) took her to a restaurant in Bethesda. He probably needed to use the restroom and was hoping to use the one in the restaurant. However, parking was impossible and he could not wait any longer. He parks in front of the restaurant and gets out of the car. Proceed to relieve himself behind the car, while my friend is still sitting in the car, completely aghast! Thank goodness, it was for dinner and it was fairly dark. I do not recall if they had dinner or not. But, she did not have ANY body contact with him (who would shake hands with this dude?), or met him again. I was ROTFLMAO when I heard this. And she has TONS of these stories. She is so sweet, the nicest, most decent person I have met. Extremely intelligent, well put together, and very attractive lady. She still ends up attracting a fair share of weirdos. |
Anonymous
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Dating in your thirties isn't much better. I've sat at dinner with men who just wouldn't speak at all, they'd just answer in monosyllables when spoken to and then go back to staring at me.
I've had guys try to make me accept Jesus on a date, or try to hint "diplomatically" that I should order less food because I could do with losing a few pounds. |
Anonymous
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^I went out with a monosyllabic guy, too, once. He took me to an early bird special at a Chinese restaurant right next to a run down hotel (shudder).
We ate rather bad food and then he took me back home. I was back in time to go out for the evening. There was that.. |
Anonymous
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Traumatic brain injury guy with short term memory loss: he could not remember that I told him I wasn't interested, and just kept calling me day after day after our one lackluster date. I finally told him he needed to write down that I was seeing someone else and he must have got the hint. He got lost driving to the restaurant on our one date, among other memory lapses, including trying to kiss me 20 times after I repeatedly said no.
BTW, he drove his luxury car off a cliff, hopped up on coke and survived, which is how he got his injury. He was old money. I am sure an opportunist found him eventually and is drinking iced tea at the Chevy Chase country club right now with her second husband. I felt compassion for him, but I just wasn't ready to be someone else's brain for them. |
Anonymous
| ^Oh, and we were both in our early 20's, too. |
Anonymous
Oops - referring to Monosyllabic guy at the early bird Chinese dinner. |
Anonymous
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I double checked b/c I thought you asked only about first dates. Unfortunately, many of mine are further down the road.
Post divorce: I had been dating someone for a while and we went to a game with his HS and college-aged daughters. He had his HS daughter drive into DC (new driver with me, Dad and older sister in the car...into DC basically during rush hour). Painful! The game was fine. I'm sociable, but he sat on my one side, so I was next to the 2 daughters I had just met. No idea if they were interested in knowing me. On the way home, the HS daughter wanted to go out, but apparently she had not cleaned her closet like Dad asked. They proceed to have a huge fight, she called him controlling, screamed, yelled and then at a stop sign, tried to get out of the car. It was VERY awkward. He did not have much to say when we got home, and while I understand she's a teenage girl, I would have said something about it! She stormed inside, cleaned the closet and went to her friend's house. Another guy I met for dinner. He was nice enough, but during dinner he talked about his father's death and how depressed he was. It was all very much a downer. I can understand wanting to share about that loss, but not as chipper first date conversation. It was not a recent death. Went out with a younger guy for dinner. After our food arrived and he'd had a few bites, clearly enjoying his food, he licked each finger, one by one (making a sucking noise). I literally laughed b/c I thought he was kidding. I tried to overlook the manners, but the next time we went out he begged to come to my house at the end. I said no. I woke up the next morning and he sent me a dick pic. My first. Ugh! Apparently, his situation was all my fault! |
Anonymous
Sooo sexy. How could you resist? What a charmer! |
Anonymous
This vaguely reminds me of 50 First Dates. |
Anonymous
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When I was 20, I went out with a guy who I didn't really like (bad teeth and kinda loserish) after a friend begged me to give him a chance. He asked me to meet him at the restaurant. When I got there, he was at the bar, never intending to actually eat. He had a couple more drinks, but I could not because they wouldn't serve me. We decided to go back to my place to watch a movie. Went to blockbuster and they said his mom had said he wasn't allowed to use her card anymore. He used their phone to beg her and promise he would be more responsible, and she finally relented. We stopped by the 7-11 (oh, I was driving because he didn't have a car and he was drunk) and picked up wine, spaghetti and sauce. Got to my house and I made us pasta. Once we started watching the movie, he looked a little ill, so I told him where the bathroom was and he said he was fine. Five minutes later, he threw up the tomato sauce and still intact pasta all over my white carpet. I drove him home then. Needless to say I refused his further requests.
Obviously I made some bad choices here, but that is what being 20 is about, and now, 18 years later, I have a good story. |
Anonymous
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This happened to a friend of a friend.
Second date with a guy. They went to the movies. He got up to go to the bathroom. Never came back. (Late 20's/early 30's) |
Anonymous
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I drive a hatchback and used to travel M-Th for work every week. When dating I have been asked on the first date (by different people)
You profile says you like to try new foreign foods. Have you been to PF Changs? How much do you make? When do you plan on quitting your job? You drive a great mom car, don't you think? When do you plan to stop traveling so much? Wouldn't it be nice to have a husband so you don't have to work so hard? And my favorite - Have you accepted Jesus Christ as your Lord and Saviour? (Ummm you could have started with "do you go to church?") |