Using a timer when potty training?

[Anonymous]

Hi. I need some advice re potty training. My DD is almost 3 yrs old, and she is showing intermittent interest in using the potty. My husband and I aren't trying to push her either way, but we are getting frustrated with how much time she spends on the potty when she wants to try using it. When I was out of the house the other day, DD apparently spent 40 minutes trying to go. My husband was so frustrated with sitting there that he declared that we were going to start using a timer. I don't want to do that because I don't want stress out my daughter about what should be a natural bodily function. I do, however, feel my husband's frustration because she has taken that long with me at the helm as well, and it's even harder when I have to try to occupy her baby brother while she's trying to go. Any advice?

[Anonymous]

Good lord no - the timer is the worst idea I have ever heard of in reference to potty training. Don't go down that road.

Have you tried the M&M method? (one for pee and two for poop) And, don't worry, they pretty quickly start forgetting to ask for the candy and eventually are just so proud about going by themselves they stop asking altogether.

[Anonymous]

I have never heard of using a timer.

[Anonymous]

I have a DS but my friend who has a DD swears by cloth diapers. She said her DD was potty trained over a long weekend because they felt miserable.

I'm not one to suggest torturing small children, but hey, I figure most of us wore cloth diapers and we turned out ok.

Just a thought.

[Anonymous]

No, don't need to use a timer...just let her sit there as long she wants. That said, you or your DH don't need to be sitting/standing there with her - make sure you leave the door open of course and go check in often.

[Anonymous]

I've heard of using the timer, but in a different sense - using it more for reminding a child it's time to go rather (like in your case) limiting potty time.

Out of curiousity, is DD content just sitting on the potty for 40 min? Is something keeping her entertained? She's not straining the whole time, is she?

Also, you may want to encourage her to drink more just so she is more inclined to wee wee (input = output).

[Anonymous]

My child did the same and it was frustrating but you should let her sit there. If we really needed her to get moving we'd say "one more book and it's time to move off the potty" and she'd her the hint that maybe she didn't really have to go. The worst is when they figure out how to use sitting on the pot endlessly to avoid going to bed but like all this stuff it's a phase and will pass.

[Anonymous]

Very bad idea. I'd just keep checking in on her and go do other stuff. She's old enough that that should be OK. I agree with PP, reward with something (we use stickers).

[Anonymous]

Do you get the sense she's sitting there b/c she's trying to please you? Maybe take the pressure off and see what happens: "It's OK if you can't go pee this time -- it's great that you tried. We'll try again a little later."

[Anonymous]

a timer sounds like a recipe for disaster. instead of making going to the bathroom a relaxing experience, it will become fraught with pressure, anxiety, control, performance issues. maybe the husband should remove himself from potty training duty. your child will learn when she's ready.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've heard of using the timer, but in a different sense - using it more for reminding a child it's time to go rather (like in your case) limiting potty time.

Out of curiousity, is DD content just sitting on the potty for 40 min? Is something keeping her entertained? She's not straining the whole time, is she?

Also, you may want to encourage her to drink more just so she is more inclined to wee wee (input = output).

Yes, I saw a potty timer in a kids catalogue. It was like a stop watch to wear around the child's wrist and you can set it for 10, 15, 30 min. increments to remind the child it's potty time. Not sure if it works or not, but no OP, using a timer is apparently not all that wacky of an idea (obviously there must be a market for it since it's advertised).