Gestational surrogacy

[Anonymous]

Has anyone used a gestational surrogate? I've done some research on the basics, but I'm curious about real-life experience. For example:

1. How long did it take to find a surrogate? How stressful was the process? Was the surrogate located near you? If not, did you do a lot of traveling? Did she come to you for the birth?

2. Did you go through an agency? If so, which one? If not, how did you find your surrogate?

3. Was there a successful pregnancy on the first go-round, or did you have multiple IVF attempts?

4. Did any issues arise during the pregnancy that you hadn't foreseen or thought of? Were you ever worried that the surrogate was not taking good care of herself?

5. How much did it really cost? (I suspect the numbers I've read are on the low end).

6. Is there anything you wish you'd known or done differently?

7. Do you keep in touch with the surrogate?

Thank you for any thoughts. I know we need to sit down with a professional to explore this possibility further, but I feel like I'm not even at that stage yet. I know anecdotal evidence is a terrible way to make decisions, but it's what helps me the most. I just don't know if this is something that's right for us to pursue, or not. However, if anyone has any recommendations for local resources, I'd appreciate it. Thanks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Has anyone used a gestational surrogate? I've done some research on the basics, but I'm curious about real-life experience. For example:

1. How long did it take to find a surrogate? How stressful was the process? Was the surrogate located near you? If not, did you do a lot of traveling? Did she come to you for the birth? Once you have signed with an agency 2-3 months to find her, but substantially longer until we did the first transfer. Very stressful; it has a lot of moving parts. We went to her for major doctor visits and birth. We choose someone a several hour drive away (4 hours). That was reasonable.

2. Did you go through an agency? If so, which one? If not, how did you find your surrogate? Yes. We have several kids via surrogacy. The agency we loved is not in business anymore. We interviewed many after a horrible (worse than you can imagine) experience [ Edited by Admin. ].

3. Was there a successful pregnancy on the first go-round, or did you have multiple IVF attempts? First time it was a disaster. Second time it went flawless. Third time it didn't work, but the process was fine. Fourth time it worked. Two successful pregnancies from 4 transfers.

4. Did any issues arise during the pregnancy that you hadn't foreseen or thought of? Were you ever worried that the surrogate was not taking good care of herself? Yes, but nothing that isn't normal for pregnancy. Never. You don't become a surrogate and not take superior care of yourself, or at least that was our experience.

5. How much did it really cost? (I suspect the numbers I've read are on the low end). It has come way down in the last 6 years.
Last time we spent $75K. We had some bed rest complications which brought the cost up. Had that not happened, easily less than $60k all in.

6. Is there anything you wish you'd known or done differently? I wish we had never met [ Edited by Admin. ]. A lot of little things I wish we knew in advance, but too many to explain in a forum lie this. Nothing you won't figure out

7. Do you keep in touch with the surrogate? Yes, far more than we originally planned. We agreed to photos and an update at least once a year, but in reality it is much more. She has kids of her own and we do now too. That is plenty of commonality to start a friendship.

Thank you for any thoughts. I know we need to sit down with a professional to explore this possibility further, but I feel like I'm not even at that stage yet. I know anecdotal evidence is a terrible way to make decisions, but it's what helps me the most. I just don't know if this is something that's right for us to pursue, or not. However, if anyone has any recommendations for local resources, I'd appreciate it. Thanks. Shady grove was a great fertility clinic. If I had to work with [ Edited by Admin. ] again I would probably not have children and my kids mean more to me than I could try and explain. It can take a long time. We took over 5 years to have our first. It was a good decision for us, but beware the possible challenges

[ Note from Admin: We received a complaint from the agency and individual originally named in this post. Because we are unable to determine the truthfulness of the allegations contained here, the names have been removed in the interest of fairness. ]

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Has anyone used a gestational surrogate? I've done some research on the basics, but I'm curious about real-life experience. For example:

1. How long did it take to find a surrogate? How stressful was the process? Was the surrogate located near you? If not, did you do a lot of traveling? Did she come to you for the birth?

2. Did you go through an agency? If so, which one? If not, how did you find your surrogate?

3. Was there a successful pregnancy on the first go-round, or did you have multiple IVF attempts?

4. Did any issues arise during the pregnancy that you hadn't foreseen or thought of? Were you ever worried that the surrogate was not taking good care of herself?

5. How much did it really cost? (I suspect the numbers I've read are on the low end).

6. Is there anything you wish you'd known or done differently?

7. Do you keep in touch with the surrogate?

Thank you for any thoughts. I know we need to sit down with a professional to explore this possibility further, but I feel like I'm not even at that stage yet. I know anecdotal evidence is a terrible way to make decisions, but it's what helps me the most. I just don't know if this is something that's right for us to pursue, or not. However, if anyone has any recommendations for local resources, I'd appreciate it. Thanks.

We're in the process, have our GC and are doing IVF currently.
We were very lucky and found her within 2 months, typically it takes 6-9 months or so I've heard.
You can use an agency, we didn't. Note that agencies aren't licensed, they can be set up by anyone. We are using a surrogacy lawyer (Jennifer Fairfax, highly recommend).
Our surrogate us a 2nd time GC, she preferred to not use an agency again. Too impersonal and she thought it was a waste if $$ for her intended parents. She keeps in touch with them and hopes to do so for years.

Costs: $18-23,000 fee for a first time GC, plus $10,000 incidentals (health insurance, lawyers etc)
$23-$27,000 for second time GC, plus $10,000

[Anonymous]

Pp here.
Just realized I didn't give you full costs.
In addition to surrogate costs above:
Lawyers, birth certificate etc, add $5000
IVF costs, you can determine for yourself ($15,000)

We are guessing it will cost us $70,000 if first IVF works.