Dh's parents

[Anonymous]

Dh parents are in tone to "help with baby so you can sleep in" but who has been up with baby since 6am while they sleep in? That's right, me. And it's not a matter of waking them up, you can hear everything in our house, they are just being lazy. I'm so pissed. Don't blame DH, he is in bed with a cold. This is all on his parents. I know they heard us, I heard one of them get up and go to the bathroom. And DS was screaming laughing this morning so they know he's up. Argh!!!!

[Anonymous]

It's not their baby.

[Anonymous]

If this a new baby, they're really be there to see the baby, not so much to help.

Also, don't be surprised if they can't hear the baby. My mom's hearing is going where she can't hear the scream of the teakettle, so forget about a baby crying.

Don't suffer in silence though, if they volunteer to help ask them to get up a specific time, so you can go back to bed.

[Anonymous]

Knock on their door, hand off baby, go back to bed.

[Anonymous]

Lower your expectations. They're here to help, but on their own time. Take advantage when you can (take an afternoon nap) but don't expect them to help at every moment that you want them to.

[Anonymous]

Once they come down for breakfast, hand off the baby and go back to bed. If you picked the baby up right away when s/he started crying, they may not have heard it.

[Anonymous]

You are lucky they came at all. You don't exactly sound like a peach of a DIL.

[Anonymous]

Hugs to you, OP - a baby and house guests are very tiring.

It seems like you and in-laws are on a different page as to what "help with the baby' means. I doubt grandparents are really thinking that means 6 am. I'd try what 8:03 suggested for the mornings. Try similar thing in the afternoon when you need to rest.

[Anonymous]

OP, you have to learn. Hire generously paid help if you want help.

If you want visitors (with a newborn??!!), then ask the ILs to come and "help". It is very straight forward.

My MIL used to come by and be as rude as possible. Thats when we decided we didn't need her "helping" at a time like that. It was much easier to have a helpful, knowledgable, experienced stranger *without* an axe to grind; and who really loves kids. Not someone there for their own "convenient" photo ops. Gag.

[Anonymous]

They aren't your employees.

[Anonymous]

OP. It's not a newborn, it's a toddler. They said they wanted to watch him in the morning while we slept in. It doesn't matter, I'm always super duper nice to them, this is just somewhere for me to vent.

[Anonymous]

Ehhh. Not their kid. You deal with it.

[Anonymous]

So now you know not to rely on them. I had to learn that lesson too with my parents. Sad, but not much you can do. Maybe you can "leverage" this oversight on their part into their watching him while you go out with your husband for date night?

[Anonymous]

You probably suspected they wouldn't be much help. Why did you put the extra stress on yourself by inviting housequests?

[Anonymous]

This is clearly about expectations. Sounds like they offered something that sounded quite attractive to you. You took the bait. They failed to deliver. Lesson learned.

You can learn from this and readjust. Lower you expectations and just chuckle to yourself when they say they are coming to help you sleep in. Or do as others have suggested and find another way to get some time to yourself. It may not be sleeping in, but you could get some time to grab a cup of coffee (alone or with spouse) while they watch toddler. Or go out to dinner.