Handling disappointment

[Anonymous]

Had to share this from a different thread for all parents out there dealing with other difficult, entitled parents at school, sports and after school activities-hope it reaches those it needs to reach:

Folks, you have to let your children experience disappointment and adversity when they are young or they will not be equipped to handle stress and disappointment when the are older. Somehow we have come to equate good parenting with shielding our children from every disappointment and created a culture where every one gets a trophy, everyone brings home a gift from a party (i.e., goody bag). We are setting our kids up for failure, depression, and becoming lousy adults in general.

[Anonymous]

What are you talking about? Be specific!

[Anonymous]

Huh? What specifically do you mean? We don't send home party gifts and he gets a trophy only when he wins.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Had to share this from a different thread for all parents out there dealing with other difficult, entitled parents at school, sports and after school activities-hope it reaches those it needs to reach:

Folks, you have to let your children experience disappointment and adversity when they are young or they will not be equipped to handle stress and disappointment when the are older. Somehow we have come to equate good parenting with shielding our children from every disappointment and created a culture where every one gets a trophy, everyone brings home a gift from a party (i.e., goody bag). We are setting our kids up for failure, depression, and becoming lousy adults in general.

Nice article in the Rachel Carson MS newsletter on this subject:

http://www.fcps.edu/RachelCarsonMS/newsletters/2014January.pdf

[Anonymous]

Also 2 great books:

The Blessings of a B-minus by Wendy Mogel

The Price of Privilege by Madeline Levine


Show how we can inadvertently be hurting our kids' abilities to deal by behaving in ways our current culture condones.

[Anonymous]

OP, I'm not sure what your getting at. Our town doesn't do the trophy-for-everyone thing and only some people do goody bags. The kids are bummed for a minute but then they forget about it. If you're trying to make some kind of larger point, a little context would help.

[Anonymous]

OP is referring to a thread I created in the private school forums. It was called "DD is extremely disappointed"

and I agree PP. No parents wants their child to be disappointed and they certainly don't want to be a cause for their child's disappointment. However, parents just like anyone else are humans and they too make errors. This is life, people make mistakes. Disappointments happen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Had to share this from a different thread for all parents out there dealing with other difficult, entitled parents at school, sports and after school activities-hope it reaches those it needs to reach:

Folks, you have to let your children experience disappointment and adversity when they are young or they will not be equipped to handle stress and disappointment when the are older. Somehow we have come to equate good parenting with shielding our children from every disappointment and created a culture where every one gets a trophy, everyone brings home a gift from a party (i.e., goody bag). We are setting our kids up for failure, depression, and becoming lousy adults in general.

Exactly. Instead, these type A parents would rather game the system and set their kid up for further disappointment. Because they care more about bragging in the carpool lane, they threaten litigation and use every trick in the book to squeeze their kid into an already overcrowded AAP system.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Had to share this from a different thread for all parents out there dealing with other difficult, entitled parents at school, sports and after school activities-hope it reaches those it needs to reach:

Folks, you have to let your children experience disappointment and adversity when they are young or they will not be equipped to handle stress and disappointment when the are older. Somehow we have come to equate good parenting with shielding our children from every disappointment and created a culture where every one gets a trophy, everyone brings home a gift from a party (i.e., goody bag). We are setting our kids up for failure, depression, and becoming lousy adults in general.

Exactly. Instead, these type A parents would rather game the system and set their kid up for further disappointment. Because they care more about bragging in the carpool lane, they threaten litigation and use every trick in the book to squeeze their kid into an already overcrowded AAP system.

+1000

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Had to share this from a different thread for all parents out there dealing with other difficult, entitled parents at school, sports and after school activities-hope it reaches those it needs to reach:

Folks, you have to let your children experience disappointment and adversity when they are young or they will not be equipped to handle stress and disappointment when the are older. Somehow we have come to equate good parenting with shielding our children from every disappointment and created a culture where every one gets a trophy, everyone brings home a gift from a party (i.e., goody bag). We are setting our kids up for failure, depression, and becoming lousy adults in general.

Exactly. Instead, these type A parents would rather game the system and set their kid up for further disappointment. Because they care more about bragging in the carpool lane, they threaten litigation and use every trick in the book to squeeze their kid into an already overcrowded AAP system.

OP here-I wasn't talking about gaming the system for AAP admittance, but rather about parents letting their kids have disappointments in sports, activities, etc. Life doesn't always go as planned, and I feel like kids around here just don't get reality. Not trying to take a shot at AAP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Had to share this from a different thread for all parents out there dealing with other difficult, entitled parents at school, sports and after school activities-hope it reaches those it needs to reach:

Folks, you have to let your children experience disappointment and adversity when they are young or they will not be equipped to handle stress and disappointment when the are older. Somehow we have come to equate good parenting with shielding our children from every disappointment and created a culture where every one gets a trophy, everyone brings home a gift from a party (i.e., goody bag). We are setting our kids up for failure, depression, and becoming lousy adults in general.

Exactly. Instead, these type A parents would rather game the system and set their kid up for further disappointment. Because they care more about bragging in the carpool lane, they threaten litigation and use every trick in the book to squeeze their kid into an already overcrowded AAP system.

OP here-I wasn't talking about gaming the system for AAP admittance, but rather about parents letting their kids have disappointments in sports, activities, etc. Life doesn't always go as planned, and I feel like kids around here just don't get reality. Not trying to take a shot at AAP.

You AAP parents are soooo defensive!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Had to share this from a different thread for all parents out there dealing with other difficult, entitled parents at school, sports and after school activities-hope it reaches those it needs to reach:

Folks, you have to let your children experience disappointment and adversity when they are young or they will not be equipped to handle stress and disappointment when the are older. Somehow we have come to equate good parenting with shielding our children from every disappointment and created a culture where every one gets a trophy, everyone brings home a gift from a party (i.e., goody bag). We are setting our kids up for failure, depression, and becoming lousy adults in general.

Amen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Had to share this from a different thread for all parents out there dealing with other difficult, entitled parents at school, sports and after school activities-hope it reaches those it needs to reach:

Folks, you have to let your children experience disappointment and adversity when they are young or they will not be equipped to handle stress and disappointment when the are older. Somehow we have come to equate good parenting with shielding our children from every disappointment and created a culture where every one gets a trophy, everyone brings home a gift from a party (i.e., goody bag). We are setting our kids up for failure, depression, and becoming lousy adults in general.

Exactly. Instead, these type A parents would rather game the system and set their kid up for further disappointment. Because they care more about bragging in the carpool lane, they threaten litigation and use every trick in the book to squeeze their kid into an already overcrowded AAP system.

OP here-I wasn't talking about gaming the system for AAP admittance, but rather about parents letting their kids have disappointments in sports, activities, etc. Life doesn't always go as planned, and I feel like kids around here just don't get reality. Not trying to take a shot at AAP.

Here in the DMV, we have sheltered our kids way too much. We have this way of putting our children in this little bubble. We want our little "snowflakes" to succeed without any failures or disappointments along the way. I tend to me this kind of parents at times, I have to remind myself not to be!