lottery disagreements with spouse

[Anonymous]

Anyone else banging heads with their spouse on ranking order? How are you resolving disagreements?

[Anonymous]

To only partly answer my own question, most of our disagreements are on transit time and inconvenience. We mostly agree on the other factors we're weighing.

[Anonymous]

We agreed on criteria first and what weight to put to each. Then we went through and ranked each school on the criteria together and let the spreadsheet decide the order.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:To only partly answer my own question, most of our disagreements are on transit time and inconvenience. We mostly agree on the other factors we're weighing.

I would take what google maps says and triple it for transit time, especially if you have a slow-walking toddler.

[Anonymous]

I would say whatever spouse says it will take longer, go with that. It probably will take way longer than you think.

[Anonymous]

It will take longer then you think. That said, if you don't work as a team, you will be miserable. Make sure you are the same page now.

[Anonymous]

Wait, there are DHs out there who actually look at the available options and participate in the decision?

[Anonymous]

We work at opposite ends of the city, so some schools on our list would be a trip for him, some for me.

That about sums up our entire parenting gig, so it works out.

I think it's important to visualize what it would take to get ther and accept it; otherwise, take it off the list. I had second thoughts about one school when I tried to imagine the pressure he'd feel making it there on time for pick up--and the stress, I'd feel womdering every day if he'd made it.

[Anonymous]

I'd set up a set of criteria that both of you find relevant (no matter how important), say about half a dozen. Then give each of you 60 points (stars) to distribute across the 12 options (the same if you've settled on options) for each of the criteria. You both go off to your own corner and conduct the ranking, then add (or average) the points on each criterion, then add all of the points for each option, then rank accordingly. (If you feel some criteria are more important than others, hash any weighing out beforehand such as "we'll count distance twice or we'll count language three times.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wait, there are DHs out there who actually look at the available options and participate in the decision?[/quote
+1 Lo

[Anonymous]

Op again. Thanks, these are very helpful suggestions! I'm so happy we're working together in this, but it's challenging when we each have toured and tried the commute to some schools but neither of us has done it for all the schools.

[Anonymous]

I really think that if the person doing the commute has reservations you should listen to him/her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wait, there are DHs out there who actually look at the available options and participate in the decision?[/quote
+1 Lo

+2 . My husband's interest starts and stops at thinking about the money we will save if we get into one of our preferred.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wait, there are DHs out there who actually look at the available options and participate in the decision?

this

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wait, there are DHs out there who actually look at the available options and participate in the decision?

this

+1