how to teach our kids about strangers?

[Anonymous]

How have you handled teaching your kids about personal safety with other people? I'm trying to figure out how to best approach things like

-- don't open the front door
-- don't get in a car with a stranger
-- what *is* a stranger, for that matter -- when a mom he doesn't know in the grocery may be the person to help him find me

etc.

I'm pretty sure he's got down that police and firefighters are friends, but what about creeps in general?

Kiddo's 4.5 chronologically, about 3.5 socially, and about 6-7 in physical size (whew!).

[Anonymous]

FWIW police and firefighters are not always friends. We bought the DVD that was done by John Walsh and Julie Aigner-Clark (the woman who created the Baby Einstein DVD). It is called "On the Safe Side" or something like that. The main character is "Safe Side Super Chick who divides the world into safe side adults, kinda knows, and don't knows -- as opposed to strangers.

[Anonymous]

I highly, highly recommend "Protecting the Gift" by Gavin de Becker. It's about just these sorts of issues and teaches you how to listen to that "spidey sense" that occasionally tells you something isn't right with a particular person, place or situation -- the feeling that we all too often talk ourselves out of because we want to be "nice," polite, not make waves. (I also recommend his first book, "The Gift of Fear," for adult safety.)

One point I vividly remember is that teaching our children to "go find a police officer" is a recipe for trouble. From a child's perspective, there's no difference between a real officer and a rent-a-cop -- and according to GdB, mall security are some of the employees most likely to have an existing rap sheet themselves. Better to teach "go ask a mom" -- women are statistically far less likely to be trouble, and far more likely to do whatever it takes to make sure your kid stays safe until you find each other.

When teaching about stranger danger, please also keep in mind that poor little boy who got lost while hiking with his scout troop in Utah back in 2005. (See http://www.cnn.com/2005/US/06/21/missing.scout/index.html) Every time a search party came close, he hid -- because he had been taught not to talk to strangers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I highly, highly recommend "Protecting the Gift" by Gavin de Becker. It's about just these sorts of issues and teaches you how to listen to that "spidey sense" that occasionally tells you something isn't right with a particular person, place or situation -- the feeling that we all too often talk ourselves out of because we want to be "nice," polite, not make waves. (I also recommend his first book, "The Gift of Fear," for adult safety.)

One point I vividly remember is that teaching our children to "go find a police officer" is a recipe for trouble. From a child's perspective, there's no difference between a real officer and a rent-a-cop -- and according to GdB, mall security are some of the employees most likely to have an existing rap sheet themselves. Better to teach "go ask a mom" -- women are statistically far less likely to be trouble, and far more likely to do whatever it takes to make sure your kid stays safe until you find each other.

When teaching about stranger danger, please also keep in mind that poor little boy who got lost while hiking with his scout troop in Utah back in 2005. (See http://www.cnn.com/2005/US/06/21/missing.scout/index.html) Every time a search party came close, he hid -- because he had been taught not to talk to strangers.

As a social worker with 2 decades of experience working in the area of child abuse, I completely second this recommendation. For all children too, not only those with special needs. Or, actually for all parents.

[Anonymous]

OP, here.

I'd heard the "find a mom" recommendation before but never thought about rent-a-cops.

Thanks for the recommendations.

[Anonymous]

Thet give child-friendly show on the dangers of strangers.

ttp://www.goodknight.org/

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thet give child-friendly show on the dangers of strangers.

http://www.goodknight.org/

forgot the h in the link