Are night nurses supposed to sleep on the job?

[Anonymous]

I hired a night nurse to work. 9 pm - 8 am.
She is frequently asleep when I go in the nursery. Fully asleep - snoring.
I thought they were supposed to sleep when they got home?

[Anonymous]

I don't have any experience with night nurses but I don't see the point of them doing anything if baby is asleep. It wouldn't bother me as long as they wake when the baby does. What exactly are you expecting?

[Anonymous]

I guess I thought she would be watching the baby? One of the reasons I hired one was because I have trouble sleeping between feedings - nervous about the baby being ok. I thought having someone else watching would help me sleep. I don't think I want to pay 25/hour for someone to be sleeping.

[Anonymous]

You just want her to sit there and watch the baby while it's asleep? You're paying the $25 per hour for her to care for the baby when the baby wakes, not sit there with her eyes trained on a sleeping infant.

[Anonymous]

Don't you have a contract set up or anything in writing that you both signed?

If you are worried about your sleeping baby consider getting like an Angelcare monitor.

What does the night nurse do anyway? Just walk 10 feet down the hall to bring you the baby when it's time to nurse? Roll the bassinett close to your bed? (don't mean to be snarky, but honestly curious).

[Anonymous]

Agreed with pps. If your issue is anxiety not physical help with feedings then you don't need a night nurse but likely something to help you with your anxiety.

Does the night nurse wake when the baby does? Is the baby crying and waking you up?

If she is meeting these requirements and is competent at baby care while baby is awake the she is fine.

[Anonymous]

What's the plan when the baby nurse is done? Who will hold their eyes open with toothpicks then?
OP, sorry to be snarky, but I predict your baby will develop "issues", just because you already are projecting yours. Not good.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What does the night nurse do anyway? Just walk 10 feet down the hall to bring you the baby when it's time to nurse? Roll the bassinett close to your bed? (don't mean to be snarky, but honestly curious).

There's this modern device called a pump. It allows a nursing mother to collect her breast milk ahead of time and put it into these objects called bottles. And another person, like the father, a nanny or a night nurse can use it to feed a child without bothering the mother, allowing her to sleep for longer periods of time. Ain't modern science wonderful, Jed?

[Anonymous]

You deduct the hours she is sleeping

[Anonymous]

Um, no, you don't.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I guess I thought she would be watching the baby? One of the reasons I hired one was because I have trouble sleeping between feedings - nervous about the baby being ok. I thought having someone else watching would help me sleep. I don't think I want to pay 25/hour for someone to be sleeping.

And this is the point where any normal human being would go out and buy an angelcare monitor, or bring the baby in to their bedroom. Not start bitching about how their hired help isn't sitting there, staring at their child while they sleep. Good grief.

[Anonymous]

You do not need to hire a night nurse. Instead you need a psychiatrist to deal with your anxiety. Not being able to sleep because you are worried about your baby is not normal. I imagine the effects of sleep deprivation are exacting a heavy toll on you. This may be related to post partum depression. Please check in with your OB for recommendations for someone dealing with PPD or if you know a good psychiatrist that deals with anxiety, please make an appt tomorrow.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I hired a night nurse to work. 9 pm - 8 am.
She is frequently asleep when I go in the nursery. Fully asleep - snoring.
I thought they were supposed to sleep when they got home?

I think it bothers you that she is asleep, because she can sleep next to your child and you cannot. Not trying to be mean, but as a mom who dealt with anxiety I know how hard it is to see others effortlessly do things with DS that freaked me out. When he cried I would start to panic and it was so hard to see others be so calm and relaxed. Also, when we are anxiety ridden and sleep deprived we kind of want others to be struggling as well. Not because we wish pain on others- but its easier to accept 'this is a hard job'. than 'I am really having a hard time with this'.

I would echo the other PPs. What is it that you want her to be doing... besides being awake, anxiety ridden, and sleep deprived- like you?

[Anonymous]

I never had a night nurse but if I did...I'm sort of with the Op on this one. I wouldn't expect to walk into the room and find her sleeping on the clock - it would be odd to have to wake her up to ask a question or give instructions. In fact, I can't think of any other job where sleeping on the job is allowed. Bring a book to read, maybe some needlework, even a laptop. But totally zonked out? That would surprise me.

[Anonymous]

I looked into this briefly before I figured out how expensive it is (contemplated hiring someone for the week after DH goes back to work to help transition me better), and I thought the understanding is that they do NOT sleep on the job. Did you use an agency? They have rules about such things, I think.

Also, if you are just anxious and not as concerned with having the help with diapers, fixing the occasional bottle so you can get one longer stretch of sleep or something, you could use the Angelcare monitor. My DD was in the NICU and came home on a hospital grade monitor, which was prescribed for two weeks for apnea. Once she was cleared, I found it hard to lose the monitoring completely because I was a little traumatized by the NICU/breathing problems and, even though I knew the doctors wouldn't take her off the monitor without legitimate medical reasons, the Angelcare monitor gave me peace of mind so I could sleep better. The Angelcare thing us not a guarantee and nowhere near a medical grade monitor at all, but once DD was medically cleared I rationally knew she could go with no monitor but the extra little bit somehow eased my hormonal distress.