And my first grader is in a huge debate about God with his classmates.

[Anonymous]

I don't know who started what, but my son was talking about God to some friends at school. They told him he was required to believe in God. He said he'd never believe. That God doesn't exist. And they told him he would go to hell. They also explained what hell was, and instead of being scared (as I would have imagined), he's rip-roaring for a fight (and by fight I mean further passionate debate).

I know the two kids. They come from very religious evangelical families. They are all genuinely wonderful people and I respect them dearly.

This has somehow been translated in a first grader's mind as an epic battle of good and evil, and that believers are evil because they've got a god who would burn people up.

Despite my constant reminders that people are allowed to believe whatever they want to believe in this country, and that it's perfectly fine to believe something different from your friends, his passion hasn't diminished much over the weekend. And these family messages are not new. We've told him this for years when he asks. (We are agnostic.) Any last minute advice before sending him back to school tomorrow? The crux of the matter seems to be hell, punishment, etc. if that matters.

[Anonymous]

I would give a big talk in the morning about the concept of agreeing to disagree.

I have many friends who I love dearly, even though we disagree on some things.

[Anonymous]

This is an opportunity for you child to learn tolerance. I agree with you child completely. But no good can come from disrespecting someone's religion or trying to convinced them they are wrong.

Have your son repeat, "You are entitled to your opinion". "I respect your right to believe that". And then transition to, "How about that latest polar vortex?" This will be good practice for Thanksgiving with his in laws someday.

Also explain that it's rarely wise to get into arguments about politics or religion.

[Anonymous]

DS in First grade had a similar eye-opener with classmates. One of them actually told him Jews were bad people!!! Ugh. I explained to him how important it is to respect other people's beliefs and opinions instead of criticizing them. That no person was "bad" because of their religious beliefs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DS in First grade had a similar eye-opener with classmates. One of them actually told him Jews were bad people!!! Ugh. I explained to him how important it is to respect other people's beliefs and opinions instead of criticizing them. That no person was "bad" because of their religious beliefs.

Also a teachable moment, about how no humans are inherently "bad" due to race, religion, etc. I would encourage my child to stand up for that principle.

My kindergartner is learning about civil rights, and asks me why people wanted to do mean things to black people. I would remind my child that treating or thinking of Jewish people as less-than or worse-than is just like treating black people as less-than. Not ever OK.

[Anonymous]

Fortunately, this topic never gets old and they can continue to debate it all the way through grad school. lol

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would give a big talk in the morning about the concept of agreeing to disagree.

I have many friends who I love dearly, even though we disagree on some things.

OP here. Thanks! Did this. I had been focusing more on keeping his opinion to himself and that didn't work. No clue if the "agree to disagree" thing worked or not (or if it even will come up), but here's hoping.

[Anonymous]

Just have to keep teaching him to respect others' beliefs and to learn to agree to disagree. It is so tough at that age, they get so easily dug in, plus their expression of their beliefs is very much colored by their age and understanding. I say this as a believer who's 9 yr old can come up with some interesting interpretations of God and our beliefs...which are a bit skewed from what we actually believe. I can totally seeing Christian little kids telling folks they are going to Hell, even if their parents don't quite believe that, in that way and would never say other folks are "bad" people. Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Fortunately, this topic never gets old and they can continue to debate it all the way through grad school. lol

Sadly true, lol

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Fortunately, this topic never gets old and they can continue to debate it all the way through grad school. lol

And then once they get onto DCUM!

[Anonymous]

You should tell your son not to discuss religion with his friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You should tell your son not to discuss religion with his friends.

Lol, do you have a six year old?

[Anonymous]

When I was that age, I a Catholic had a good friend who was an evangelical Protestant. We would frequently have discussions about religion. She posed questions to me I couldn't answer and vice versa. We'd come back another day with an answer to the others' challenge we couldn't answer before. This taught me to question what I had been taught and to better defend beliefs or maybe modify views I had been taught.

This was excellent training in how to debate and made one think much more deeply than otherwise about the larger issues of life; many years later I still remember these juvenile exchanges and am grateful I had the opportunity to have such free discussions with someone of very different views. It was an early exercise in apologetics, which anyone with beliefs about religion or nonreligion or ecology or anything else can benefit from. The key is to always keep it respectful and stay open to the possibility that you always have something to learn from those with beliefs different from yours.

Kids are pretty blunt, so you might tell your child to make polite clarifications like: "You mean you think your religion says I will go to hell." Instead of saying he does not believe God exists, your son could ask them why they believe God exists instead, forcing them to think them to think and defend rather than parrot words they've been taught. (Your son will then be called upon to defend his position, his chance to exercise his intellect.)

This is an opportunity for a stimulating intellectual debate and I wouldn't quash it, but just give some tips on keeping it on that level so it doesn't degenerate into name calling and expressions of bigotry.

[Anonymous]

I told my kid not to talk about God with his friends because religious people are dangerous loons. We're very careful around the religious. They get violent when challenged.

[Anonymous]

BWAAHAHAHA!!! +1000000000000000

My first grader was bullied non-stop by two brainwashed classmates and was told she'd go to hell, that she'd die at an early age and that if she didn't believe in god she couldn't believe in Santa Claus. I told her 1) only people who believe in hell go there, 2) dying at an early age has nothing to do with belief in god but a lot to do with ignorance and 3) if you believed in SC you shouldn't believe in god and she should choose.

Santa 1/god 0

So good to know I'm raising a kid with a good head on her shoulders