Should I give up?

[Anonymous]

My DS is 32 months and we tried potty training today. He had been going pee in the potty for about 9 months when we initiate it about 75% of the time. I have decided that I no longer want to change his diapers. We have been talking about after Christmas he was going to pee and poop on the potty. He woke up today dry and we immediately sat on the potty, he peed and then we put on cotton training pants. Well today he peed through his first 2 pairs of training pants. I then let him be without pants and put him on the potty every 15minutes. He went twice. DH then freaked that he had no pants on and might pee on the carpet so we put cotton training pants back on. For the rest of the day he peed and pooped in the pants. What to do. Do we go back to diapers tomorrow or press on. Any suggestions. I am pretty sure that he knows when he has to go. He has told us in the past that he needed to go and has been successful then. Did I miss the potty training window of ease?

[Anonymous]

People have much different views and standards of what "potty trained" means. My daughter is now six and will go to the bathroom when she feels the need herself. That being said, there are still times when I remind her to go. I probably will do that until she is 40. At 32 months, she would go to the bathroom and pee and poop, but she needed prodding. In the morning, time for potty. After nap, potty. Before we leave to go somewhere, potty. Before meals, potty. You get the drift. 32 months was defnitely too early for my daughter to be physically able to be diaperless AND to get herself back and forth to the bathroom after recognizing the need to go deciding to stop her fun activity and then go potty. She would go when requested and I always tried to make my requests during a "break" in the action.

If you have concern about the mess, put him in regular old underwear and then put a pull-up on top of the underwear. Get the kind of pull up that has the design that disappears when it is wet so you can see if it is wet. Start a routine of going potty at specific intervals -- in the morning, a few mintues after breakfast, mid morning, before lunch, after lunch, after nap, etc. Set a timer if you need to. If he has an accident, shrug your shoulders and don't make a big deal, but involve him in the clean up. If he is playing, make him stop, go to bathroom, have him pull down his pants, show him how to wipe himself with toilet paper, throw the TP in the toilet, flush wash hands, you choose new underwear, have him put it on and then another pullup over the top. All the while keep up positive patter, "accidents happen, this is how learn when to go potty in the potty and not in our pants!" "OK, who is mommy's potty helper? You, OK, let's climb out of those wet pants and do a big kid cleanup with toilet paper like mommy, daddy, Thomas the Train, Elmo, etc." "Paper goes in the potty! Flush!" Etc.

If you are breaking your child away from an activity to get them cleaned up and they cry, stand tough. Some kids can't bear stopping an activity to go to the bathroom. It is like they think that they won't be able to pick up where they left off. Same principle as holding it until your teeth float so as not to miss a live sporting event that is exciting, movie, etc. We don't pee ourselves b/c it would be embarrassing, they don't have that cue yet. If they are upset, validate by saying you know it is tough to leave something fun -- but we are learning to go potty b/f accidents happen so we don't have to miss the fun.

He will get it, but he just may need a little more direction.

[Anonymous]

Don't give up! I trained my twins at about 34 months and for the first 3 days they had TONS of accidents. By day 3 we were down to just a couple and by day 5 my son was peeing and pooping on the potty. We definitely had several accidents a week for the first month or so, but after that the accidents became less and less frequent.

I got rid of all diapers, but did use pull-ups to go out until the kids insisted they didn't need them (took about 3 weeks). They both wore pull-ups at bedtime for several months after that.

If you can't stand the mess, you might just have to wait until he is 100% ready. WARNING: My friend's son was 4 before he one day decided no more diapers. BUT, he never had accidents.

[Anonymous]

My suggestion? Wait until the spring...so much easier...

[Anonymous]

32 months is pretty early for a boy. I would also wait until spring and summer. It can takes months and months so get ready to do lots of laundry. Just putting him in underwear isn't a trigger for him to know when he has to go. The accidents are necessary for him to realize when he has to go. I still tell my son to go to the bathroom and he is closing in on 4 yrs old. If I didn't say anything, he would probably just hold it or pee in his pants.

[Anonymous]

A few accidents shouldn't scare you, and if he's ready, it won't take months and months, but rather about a week. I say give it about a week, and get ready to do lots of laundry

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My suggestion? Wait until the spring...so much easier...

I second this.

[Anonymous]

He might be confused because of the back and forth. Pick potty training or diapers and go with it. Think about it from his perspective. And, yes, even when the child is "ready" it is rarely miraculous with no accidents. Give it a couple days when you make up your mind the time is right.

[Anonymous]

DS trained at 4, DD at 2. Lots of accidents for both kids. I'd keep trying, but lay off the pressure. When he's ready, he'll be ready. I was tearing out my hair at DS's refusal to poop in the potty (he peed in the potty consistently at age 3, but would not let go of diapers for pooping). Finally, in desperation, I said, "I'll give you a present if you poop in the potty." A few days later, out of the blue, he came out of the bathroom and said, "Mommy I pooped in the potty. Where's my present?" I had to scramble around to find something to give him, but it worked, and he was trained thereafter.

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I'd continue with underwear and potty training for sure---no backtracking to diapers---but make sure that you and DH are on the same page.

[Anonymous]

i let my son run around without diapers or underwear alot for a couple of days during the summer. that worked for him...i agree on the no pressure though.