Going to Graduate School after Baby

[Anonymous]

Has anyone gone back to graduate school while their children were infants or toddlers? I had my first 6 months ago, and always planned on going to graduate school before deciding on having another. Now that I have her, I'm having a hard time logistically figuring out how people make it work and not have their relationship with their child or their spouse go awry. I've talked to some people at work, friends, etc, and they all think that the time demands put on you by a graduate program are quite demanding, and that it's not smart to pay for graduate school when you can't give it your full attention. At this point, everyone has been pretty clear that it can't be done and be done well. Just wondered if that was the consensus on here as well. Is it easier when the child is alittle older, or is this a pipe dream at this point? Are certain schools more family friendly than others?

[Anonymous]

I haven't done this, but that's not going to stop me from contributing my two cents. (I have been to graduate school, but pre-baby, so at least I know what that's about.)

I think there are two parts to the answer to this question: one has to do with time, and one has to do with money.

TIME: If you can imagine having a job with a young child, you should be able to imagine going to grad school with a young child. Many people let grad school take over their lives, but let's face it, that's because many of us don't have a lot else going on while we're in school. There is no reason, IMHO, why you cannot approach grad school as a job and focus on handling its demands efficiently and within certain hours. You will have to be more focused in deciding what you want to do, you may not be able to take electives that are offered at weird hours, you will have to settle for not reading every single book that your peers are talking about, your papers cannot be polished to the nth degree--but actually, that's all good preparation for writing a dissertation (if that's your final goal). Success in grad school is critically related to the ability to focus, triage, and realize that completion, not perfection, is the ultimate goal.

MONEY: Ah, but doing this will require childcare at a time when you're not earning any money. I would think that's the major stumbling block in many cases. So, maybe better to have the second child, if that's what you're planning, and then go back to school when they are both in school?

[Anonymous]

A good friend of mine finished up her MBA at University of Maryland through online courses. It obviously still requires effort, but it was a lot easier to manage since it saved lots of commuting time, and for the most part the work she had to do was totally flexible time-wise. There were a few group projects that required a firm time commitment, but otherwise she could do it whenever she had the time.

I should mention that this was just finishing off a degree-- I'm not sure whether it is possible to do the entire thing online, but maybe something to look in to so that at least you can get started...

Good luck to you.

[Anonymous]

Maybe try an Online program. I was going to do University of Maryland University College in Software Engineering, but I didn't end up taking the classes due to a few problems I was having at the time. It's well-respected to take Online programs now. You can even take them from Ivy League schools. Not all advanced degrees require a dissertation. Look around at different programs and see what you can do. There are a lot of options available.

I didn't end up pursuing it after having my daughter because it is not necessary for my career (I work for the Government) and would have been just for me as nice to have. I still may do it eventually, but the time constraint is huge. My Mother got an AA degree starting full time when I was 1, then she took a weekend program at a nearby school to finish a BA degree.....it took 10 years. I would definitely do it the easiest way possible time-wise. It's a good way to keep your foot in the door if you plan to go back to work eventually.

[Anonymous]

Sorry, I'm the PP and didn't catch in your Original Post that you were talking to people "at work" so you must be working now. Will your job pay for it?

In regards to the post that you may not be able to take the whole thing Online....you most certainly can do that.

[Anonymous]

OP here...I am currently working part-time, but my work doesn't offer any kind of tuition reimbursement or have any $$ allocated towards staff development. One of the reasons I'm eager to go to graduate school and expand my skill base is to move on from there.

[Anonymous]

If it is feasible financially, I don't see a reason not to do it...My mother had me while she was working on her Ph.D. in the 70s and I always thought I had a wonderful childhood.

When I was doing my Ph.D at MIT in the late 90s, I knew quite a few women who gave birth and raised children while working on their degrees. (Actually, I was a TA for one woman who went into labor during the final exam for one of the courses...Somehow she managed to do really well on the exam, too!)

Bottom line: It really depends on how determined you are to do this...

[Anonymous]

I'm in a PhD program and am having a baby this spring. I didn't have a baby for the first couple years (coursework), but with the right support (financial, emotional), I'm sure I could have, and still done well in my program -- others have. Yes, grad school is demanding, but speaking on behalf of my friends who have kids and are in school, you will probably find that having a child while going to school forces you to organize your time, and you can treat school just like any full- or part-time job (full- or part-time depending on how many courses you take, how demanding they are, etc.) So you work for part of the day, have family time part of the day.

[Anonymous]

I think it depends on the program. Are you in a world-class program where people have high aspirations (harder with baby), or are you going to a good local program with other part-time folks in your class (a baby won't be such a hinderance). Are you going to take on a lot of debt, or will you have a fellowship? These questions will effect your answer.

My advisor stopped taking me seriously when I got pregnant. Very few of us who got pregnant completed the program. Dropping out was more common than not.

[Anonymous]

Also, if you feel ready to move on (as you said above), that's an important thing to keep in mind. You have to feel ready for grad school, and if you're ready to move on, then maybe you are.

[Anonymous]

I am in graduate school and have DS 16 months and one more on the way. I go part time and take 1 to 2 classes per semester. I have a lot of friends in the area - many who do not have kids so if my husband is not available I ask a friend to watch DS. At other times I have a HS student come over while I am at school. It is one more thing to add to the list and for me - the balance or school, work (full time) and family can be tough. I long ago gave up the quest for a 4.0.

[Anonymous]

OP, what type of grad program are you thinking about? The answers to your questions really depend on that.

[Anonymous]

OP here...I am looking at management programs, either an MPA or an MBA. I work in the non-profit world now and either degree would work as far as broadening my skill base.

Thanks to everyone who responded. It's hard transitioning from the mindset of pushing yourself to get into the best ranked program possible to looking at programs that might not be ranked as high, but would allow more flexibility. In the end, it's probably better to have a degree from a lower ranked program then not have one at all.

[Anonymous]

This is the 9:20 poster. I think either of those types of programs would be fine as long as your have full time or close to full time childcare. I don't think it means you have to settle for a less highly ranked school. I am at at top ranked program getting a Phd with a 1 year old and trying for a 2nd baby. It is manageable as long as you have the right support network in place. An MPA would probably allow more flexibility since there are less networking demands than in MBA programs. Some schools are definitely more friendly than others in terms of childcare on campus, lactation rooms on campus. Yes you will have less time with you spouse and baby but then concentrate on the time you do spend together being high quality. It is only for a short period that you would be back in school. You can do it! Good luck!

[Anonymous]

My brother got his MBA (full-time school, a good program) and his first child was born midway through a 2 year program. Financially, it was hard, His wife (w/o a college degree) supported them, in addition to some financial and significant student loans. But in terms of time, it was great for him. While demanding, the time spent studying is far more flexible than in most workplaces. Sure, he had to be in class at certain times and do group projects, but all of his studying, writing, etc. outside of class was flexible time-wise. When he graduated, he got a management job in Fortune 500 company. He definately felt that he had more time with his new baby than he ever would have once he was back in the work world.