Does spouse ever compliment you?

[Anonymous]

Just wondering...

Is it normal for men to tune out their wives and never comment on anything she does or compliment her on anything?

Is it just women who pay attention to their husbands and ask them about stuff that is important to them?

My DH is very quiet and I do feel like I have any emotional support but maybe I am expecting too much???

[Anonymous]

* do NOT feel like

[Anonymous]

I don't think it is normal and you shouldn't settle for a man like that. My DH has always complimented me and been a strong emotional support.

[Anonymous]

I don't think it is normal at all. DH compliments me multiple times a day. I also compliment him.

[Anonymous]

I'd say he compliments me one to three times a day on average. He also thanks me a lot.

The only time I feel like he tunes me out is when he's playing music or driving and paying attention to traffic.

[Anonymous]

Just curious as to what the pp's husbands compliment them on and what do they say ?

[Anonymous]

Never.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just curious as to what the pp's husbands compliment them on and what do they say ?

What I'm wearing, a new perfume, dinner, an accomplishment at work, we are in the process of planning a big event so something like that, etc. Nothing major just little things that come up during the day. Might be something like "Wow babe, that dress looks great on you." or "this dinner is delicious", "it sounds like you did a great job with that patient today." "I don't know how you are able to come up with these ideas, you constantly amaze me".

[Anonymous]

Rarely we'll maybe never

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just wondering...

Is it normal for men to tune out their wives and never comment on anything she does or compliment her on anything?

Is it just women who pay attention to their husbands and ask them about stuff that is important to them?

My DH is very quiet and I do feel like I have any emotional support but maybe I am expecting too much???

Sounds pretty familiar.

[Anonymous]

It was a bonanza of a day for me. It's not all the time, but tonight we went out to dinner just the two of us, and he complimented me on my work (funding issues, they are trying to keep me, he was impressed and complimented me that I must be really good at what I do if they are trying for me) and then later, when walking through a store out of nowhere he said, "you're a really good mom. I don't tell you that enough." I just about died it was so special to me.

[Anonymous]

Mine doesn't. He definitely shows his love in other ways, but it's extremely rare for him to bust out with a complement out of the blue. He might say "you look nice" when I'm dressed up or that he's proud of me for some major accomplishment, but I can count on one hand the times he's told me I'm beautiful or some such thing out of the blue (and I remember such things since they are so rare). I know he thinks I'm a good mom, but he has certainly never told me so directly.

It's by far the biggest stumbling block in our relationship. He's not a talker in general and I honestly believe it just doesn't occur to him that I'd appreciate a little verbal affirmation every so often. It doesn't help that I grew up with a dad who constantly was talking about how awesome my mom was. I've tried numerous times to talk to him about it but it's like I'm talking past him and I end up feeling like I'm being super needy, which in reality, I really am not at all.

Read the 5 Love Languages. It's super cheesy, but made me feel a bit better about our relationship when I read it a few years ago. This issue has just come to a head for us again recently and I'm going to make him read it.

And to any taciturn guys out there reading this, shower your wife with some compliments already! Making her feel ignored and unappreciated is definitely not doing anything good for your sex life....

[Anonymous]

At least once a day and usually more. I need to work on complimenting him more often.

[Anonymous]

I second the love language book. Or at least google the what they are. My husband and I both have the love language (cheesy, I know!) of time. We just really make time for one another. So the compliments are not plentiful in our house, but there's still lots of love and emotional support!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just curious as to what the pp's husbands compliment them on and what do they say ?

What I'm wearing, a new perfume, dinner, an accomplishment at work, we are in the process of planning a big event so something like that, etc. Nothing major just little things that come up during the day. Might be something like "Wow babe, that dress looks great on you." or "this dinner is delicious", "it sounds like you did a great job with that patient today." "I don't know how you are able to come up with these ideas, you constantly amaze me".

This is very similar to mine. We also say thank you a lot for normal things. Like taking out the trash or making dinner before the other one comes home when we normally do it together.
When you say loving things all the time, you feel more loving. When you say thank you for the normal every day stuff, you feel more thankful. It probably sounds corny, but it works for us. My DH has been like this since I met him. It is contagious and I started making it a habit when we were dating.