Need Attorney Advice please! (About Elderly Grandmother & POA)
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Anonymous
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My Grandmother is currently in a nursing home. Her brother has POA over her finances and her sister has Medical POA. I have suspicion that her brother is not using her money correctly and withholding information about my Grandmother's financial situation. I also have proof that the brother has LIED to medical personnel about him having Medical POA which resulted in my Grandmother being discharged from the hospital (after being sent there 2 hours prior with pain in left arm, shakes, high fever and elevated blood pressure). My Grandmother's brother yells at her, picks on her, tells her that she is exaggerating how she feels and 99% of the time REFUSES to get her the medical attention she needs when needed. My Grandmother, however, is either 1) scared of him and won't speak up (she will talk to family about how unhappy he makes her and how mean he is to her) or she 2) doesn't realize that what he is doing is wrong.
Here are my questions: 1) Is there anything that we, as a family, can do WITHOUT my Grandmother initiating it, to make sure that her finances are being used incorrectly? 2) Can the brother be criminally charged for saying that he IS Medical POA to hospital personnel and not directing them to the sister who has Medical POA? Thank you! |
Anonymous
| Ask your grandmother if she wants to revoke the financial power of attorney from her brother in favor of someone else if she is competent. Contact the Office of Aging in the County where she lives or the local bar association in her county. They may have a lawyer referral service that will allow you to meet with an elder law attorney for a consultation fee. |
Anonymous
OP here. Thank you. I have asked my Grandmother this. She won't say anything. I honestly feel like she is scared out of her mind. I know she feels trapped and so do I. But, I don't think sitting and watching him treat her like this is the right thing to do either. My grandmother has had 4 strokes. She isn't doing well. I do not want her last days, weeks, months or years to be spent treated this way. Tonight, she was let go from the hospital and he ONCE AGAIN stated that he was Medical POA. The sister who is Medical POA lives further away and couldn't make it to the hospital in 2 hours. I will look into your recommendation but I doubt they'd have much to offer if she won't pull the POA, huh? |
Anonymous
| Any attorneys know if this is a situation in which a court appointed guardian could intervene? |
Anonymous
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OP here, again. Seriously hoping others weight in since I am full of questions!
She IS competent. She wasn't competent when he became Medical POA. She hadn't ever sold anything crazy, spent millions or anything else. She was sane and capable of taking care of her finances AFTER she got back on her feet from the stroke. She was put into a nursing home after her latest stroke and her condo, car and belongings were all sold. She told me that she needed the money to pay for "this place" meaning the nursing home. All of her other family members were interested in having her stay in her home with home care but the brother was adamantly against it saying that she couldn't afford it. Right now, she is competent. She is living in an assisted living place and has her own bathroom, bedroom and tv/kitchenette. She can walk around the place whenever she chooses. |
Anonymous
| Please OP follow your gut. Get a new POA. Our mother was competent after having been incompetent while recovering from a stroke. Important to note this change. Inform the hospital of the change. Give them a copy of the new POA. Your grand may wish to stay in assisted living to get away from her brother. A POA written by a lawyer is much stronger than one you down load from the Internet. Take the action. Bad things do happen to seniors. First their possessions then their person. It is VERY common. Kudos to you for making an effort to help. |
Anonymous
| OP, if your grandmother is competent, they are looking to her to make decisions. Medical POAs come into play only when a person is not competent to make the decision. |
Anonymous
OP here. She *was* not competent enough to make decisions 3 years ago when she had a major stroke. However, at this time and since recovering from said stroke 3 years ago, she has been fully capable. She knows the days of the week, what year it is, when her birthday is. She knows who you are when you visit, she knows her old address, her old house number and she can tell you where she's worked for her entire life. She's not DEAD nor is she DYING. She's belittled and bullied by her brother and I am sick of it. I understand the POINT of Medical POA and General POAs, however, what happens when they ABUSE their position? Nothing? There has to be something I can do other than just sit back and watch this man parade around lying and cheating her. |
Anonymous
Yes, but if she is competent now, the medical professonals are not even looking to her POA. She is making her medical decisions. (Financial are a different story). If you think she is being abused, there are elder abuse reporting that you can do. But, again, the medical community cannot look to someone else to make her decisions as long as she is competent. |
Anonymous
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OP,
Where are your parents in this? |
Anonymous
My Mom is around. She is a doormat though and thinks there is nothing we can do. My parents are divorced. Dad doesn't give a rip about anything involving my Mother's family! |
Anonymous
OP the doctors are not going to go through all that. They just run off to the POA. It is not always the best. Change the POA and work with her to make decisions. Or look into a revocable "living" trust. |
Anonymous
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She should have a copy of all her paperwork at all times that way the brother cannot lie to the hospitals. Or better yet, if she always goes to one hospital, have them put the POA in her file so there is no confusion over who has decision-making power.
If this has happened twice at the same hospital they should be worried about a lawsuit. |