What support can we give DW's sister as she goes through de-tox?

[Anonymous]

Found out this weekend that my DW's 34 year old sister is addicted to prescription medication. Her mother is helping her go through de-tox, and a family friend/doctor called in a prescription to help with the withdrawal symptoms. She is in touch with the local Narcotics Anonymous and has started going to these meetings. MIL took away her phone and credit cards. Is there anything we can do to be supportive? We have no idea what to do at this point besides calling MIL to check in and provide moral support.

[Anonymous]

A good lecture on getting her head screwed on straight.

[Anonymous]

Do you really think a self-righteous lecture would actually be helpful in this situation?

[Anonymous]

Definitely support her in going to 12-step mtgs and/or therapy. Detox or rehab is not enough. It might be helpful for you to learn about 12-step culture as well. You can attend "open" meetings with her, or you could also check out an Al-Anon mtg. And I would straight-up ask her, "what can I do to support your sobriety?" Let her know that you are happy she is getting help. And finally, ignore 22:56.

[Anonymous]

Thank you.

[Anonymous]

Remove all alcohol and prescription drugs from her apartment if she is hospitalized. Thoroughly clean it for her and ask no questions. When she visits, and if you go out with her, do not serve or consume alcohol. Do not display prescription medications in your medicine cabinet. Do not ask her mindless questions like "How is recovery going" or "How was your meeting?"

Let her know you love her and care about her. Let her know she can call any time of day or night. IF she calls in the middle of the night to talk, talk to her. If she calls in the middle of the night to need a ride to a meeting, take her. If she needs a ride to [insert excuse here], do not take her.

[Anonymous]

I would think a visit to your local Al-Anon would give you some good ideas. And I'm also sure that a stern lecture wouldn't be among them.

Show her love. Send her emails. Send her cards. Send her chocolates. Call her. Be there when she calls or needs you. Don't give her a dime.

Best to you guys.

[Anonymous]

If her mom needs support, suggest that she check out local Al-anon meetings. Those are support groups for the family members of addicts and can be really helpful in understanding what you can do to help (and what parts you can't really help with). Encourage your SIL by offering to attend meetings with her (or making it easy for your DW to do so). And just show her love and compassion. Most people are pretty embarrassed when it gets bad enough that everyone knows they are in detox or rehab. Just letting her know that you love her is one of the nicest things you can do right now.

[Anonymous]

How about just telling her that you love her unconditionally and are very proud of her for doing this? Then, ask her what she needs.

[Anonymous]

Tell DW you're happy to pick up the slack at home so your DW can go visit at some point if she needs to.