Relatives who act inappropriately at a funeral? My brother tends to have too much to drink

[Anonymous]

Relatives who act inappropriately at a funeral?
My brother tends to have too much to drink at these events and then he brings up his issues at the get together. Very worried because this is a funeral and he is mad at my cousin (god daughter of the deceased) what to do? I am worried.

[Anonymous]

Ask him not to come

[Anonymous]

He's not your responsibility. Release what you cannot control. In the end it reflects on him, not you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He's not your responsibility. Release what you cannot control. In the end it reflects on him, not you.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He's not your responsibility. Release what you cannot control. In the end it reflects on him, not you.

+1

+2

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He's not your responsibility. Release what you cannot control. In the end it reflects on him, not you.

+1

+2

+3. If he makes a fool of himself, that's on him, not you.

[Anonymous]

Also, bringing up "issues," while uncomfortable, may be what your family needs. If your brother has to get drunk to do it, that speaks to how repressed your family really is. What is the problem with bringing up issues, OP?

I can see that he makes people uncomfortable. But a funeral is about emotional release. As others have pointed out, it's him acting this way, not you. Express your emotions as you choose and let others do the same.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Also, bringing up "issues," while uncomfortable, may be what your family needs. If your brother has to get drunk to do it, that speaks to how repressed your family really is. What is the problem with bringing up issues, OP?

I can see that he makes people uncomfortable. But a funeral is about emotional release. As others have pointed out, it's him acting this way, not you. Express your emotions as you choose and let others do the same.

It's not a group therapy session. It's a funeral. And it sounds like OP's brother just gets drunk and antagonizes people he doesn't like...not sure where you're getting the "repressed family" thing from.

[Anonymous]

Be prepared to beat his ass if he acts like one, problem solved.

[Anonymous]

Hurtful to others who would like a quiet respectful funeral. It is not a party.

[Anonymous]

Weddings and funerals are the only times some families get together. If it doesn't come up then, it doesn't come up.

OP, you shouldn't do anything. Your brother is an adult. He is responsible for his own behavior.

If he acts like an ass, and you are embarrassed, you can tell your other family members that you are sorry that he acted like an ass. That way they know you don't approve or agree with him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He's not your responsibility. Release what you cannot control. In the end it reflects on him, not you.

+1

+2

+3. If he makes a fool of himself, that's on him, not you.

And another in agreement.

Also OP - have a plan for yourself in advance to get away from the drama if it happens. Know how you'll extricate yourself (and your family if need be), either to another room or another location altogether. You aren't responsible for his actions and you don't have to stick around to feel any more upset by them than necessary.

My condolences on your loss.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Be prepared to beat his ass if he acts like one, problem solved.

Because family violence ALWAYS makes any situation better.

[Anonymous]

Thank you for your kind thoughts PPs. Brother already had a rant with family members and our minister. Minister said I am a grown man and I have heard a lot. But that goes beyond. I will be so glad when this is over.

[Anonymous]

^^ not the minister said he would be glad it was over. That was me to myself.