While using my car my FIL hit a post and banged up my car.

[Anonymous]

Over the weekend while visiting, my father in law borrowed my mini van to go to DSW, and run a couple of other errands like they always do when they visit. He hit a post with my mini van and banged it up pretty good. He then went to Home Depot to buy a plunger so he could pull out the bumper. While he was successful in pulling out the bumper, there are some pretty big scratches on the front bumper.

I didn't know anything happened until my MIL told me. She said he was very embarrassed about it and was going to fix it. I never went out to look at it "while he was fixing it" since he was so embarrassed. I asked MIL to let me know if he needed anything else to fix it. At no point did FIL ever mention anything to me. I would have at least expected an apology. NOPE, nothing!! The worst part is that they didn't offer to pay to get the big scratch repaired! I'm really upset about it and told DH that he will never be able to use my car. They always use my car, DHs car is a Hybrid and it's his transportation on 66.

Should I mention something to them or have DH mention or just let it go and get the front bumper painted? My mini van is by no means brand new, it's a 2004, and yes it has some dings on it. But sheesh, a huge scratch on the front bumper now too!

Thanks for any and all responses.

[Anonymous]

Your husband needs to talk to his father, not you.

[Anonymous]

i'd expect my in-laws to at least offer to have it fixed..though since the car is 10 years old, i'm not sure i'd be as worried about it.

[Anonymous]

I'd let it go. Yes, he should have apologized, but I'm going to chalk his lack of apology up to embarrassment. That doesn't make it right, but I can see how it happened. Plus, he thinks he fixed it. If it were a new car, my answer might be different, but it's ten years old. Get it painted/buffed/whatever if you want to, but I wouldn't raise it as an issue with your in-laws. It was an accident, they know it happened, you know it happened, bringing it up doesn't seem like it would solve anything.

[Anonymous]

Depends on many factors:

Existing relationship with ILs.
Do you have the $$ to pay? Do they? If ILs are loaded then I would expect them to pay.
How much will it cost to fix?

If I otherwise had a decent relationship with ILs and I could afford the repairs then I would just pay for it myself.

[Anonymous]

Also, how brilliant to get a plunger to get the dent out! Very MacGyver-esque.

[Anonymous]

Let it go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'd let it go. Yes, he should have apologized, but I'm going to chalk his lack of apology up to embarrassment. That doesn't make it right, but I can see how it happened. Plus, he thinks he fixed it. If it were a new car, my answer might be different, but it's ten years old. Get it painted/buffed/whatever if you want to, but I wouldn't raise it as an issue with your in-laws. It was an accident, they know it happened, you know it happened, bringing it up doesn't seem like it would solve anything.

+1

[Anonymous]

Ok. From the responses I received, I've calmed down some. Yes, the car is 10 years old. For me a car is a car, and yes it's a mini van. I do keep my cars until they die or the next mechanic invoice is a couple thousand or more than the car is worth.

Thank you for all of your responses.

Also for the PP who asked my relationship with my ILs is okay. We tolerate each other. When they visit they stay 2 weeks + I try to make their visit as comfortable as possible. There have been some issues, ex: FIL wrestles with my 8 year old and ends up hurting him.... it's an issue and we have hopefully gotten it through to him that he's the adult he needs to stop.

Again thanks.

[Anonymous]

You could have saved us a lot of money as we needed a big dent out. Just pay to get it removed and tell them in the future that they need to use their car or rent one. Or, trade cars with your husband and you get the nice new car.

[Anonymous]

Let it go and stop letting him drive your vehicle.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Also, how brilliant to get a plunger to get the dent out! Very MacGyver-esque.

Yes!

I am using that. I dropped something big on the side of my car and dented it (long story). Haven't gotten around to having it popped out. Might have my husband try the plunger this weekend. Thanks OP!

[Anonymous]

After he paid to have it repaired properly (yes, I'd ask him to, and that means fixing whatever the plunger did not fix), he would not be using my car again, if it were my car in question.

[Anonymous]

Fixing a scratch on the bumper of a 10-year-old mini van is not worth the hassle, the money, or the damage to your relationship with the ILs.

Yes, her performed poorly, but you should probably let it go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd let it go. Yes, he should have apologized, but I'm going to chalk his lack of apology up to embarrassment. That doesn't make it right, but I can see how it happened. Plus, he thinks he fixed it. If it were a new car, my answer might be different, but it's ten years old. Get it painted/buffed/whatever if you want to, but I wouldn't raise it as an issue with your in-laws. It was an accident, they know it happened, you know it happened, bringing it up doesn't seem like it would solve anything.

+1

+2

The damage was cosmetic, right? Everything still works? Plus, your FIL probably figured you've got other dings and scratches on your car already what is the big deal if there is one more added?