Things that are unintentional status symbols.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The word unintentional brings to mind old money. The nouveau riche unless very classy push their wealth in your face - new expensive cars every year or two, rudeness and stinginess with waiters and other employees, huge engagement rings, push presents.

It is not having antique silver or jewelry that makes it unintentional. Of course, it was originally bought to show off and the current generation knows it is valuable, but they use the ugly antique solid silver stuff to make a peanut butter sandwich (maybe if they are WASPY enough the peanut butter is the store brand). The antique silver is what is there and they use it because it works - quality lasts a long time.

Unintentional might be the mom who donates a "pie a month" to the auction. She makes them herself with her own hands (wearing a thin gold wedding ring and an antique Native American piece bought by a great great Aunt in the 1920s), BUT the pies are not available June through August. No explanation given but it is because mom and the kids are at the beach for the summer in an ancestral cottage.[/quote]

You nailed it. Though I'd add the the mom is a SAHM and graduated from a top 5 law school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thin gold wedding band. Eschewing other jewelry as gauche or exploitative of the workers who mined it.

Interesting, I love looking at peoples wedding jewlery and I've found in some circle I run in the older rich women only wear thin bands really. I wonder if this is a thing at all. I have indeed noticed it.

This is my MIL; I have her engagement ring, which her MIL had before her. When our oldest son gets engaged, his fiancee will get the ring and I'll just wear my gold band.

My SIL got my grandmother's ring and it bugged me. I really think they should be passed down to the women in the family and not given to strange women.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Has had the same family housekeeper for several decades-overpays her to not clean very well.

Ha! So true!

Perhaps it is because they take seriously their responsibility as an employer to her -- all too rare today, in our hire-and-fire, even-my-nanny-is-an-independent-contractor cutlure.

Ohmigod-that's me 10 years running and I have to clean after she leaves sometimes--but she is like family.

Us too; tho' DH, who is old money, will privately tsk over the lousy job she does, he also makes a point to say "thank you" in front of the kids, esp. when she -- amazingly -- does something out of the ordinary without being asked first -- e.g., sweeps screened porch. This is even more likely to happen if she does something that is frugal -- e.g., darning gym socks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thin gold wedding band. Eschewing other jewelry as gauche or exploitative of the workers who mined it.

Interesting, I love looking at peoples wedding jewlery and I've found in some circle I run in the older rich women only wear thin bands really. I wonder if this is a thing at all. I have indeed noticed it.

This is my MIL; I have her engagement ring, which her MIL had before her. When our oldest son gets engaged, his fiancee will get the ring and I'll just wear my gold band.

It sounds like a lovely tradition, but I would not want that ring from my fiance. It would be too much about you and MIL and her MIL and not about me and DF. No offense but I wouldn't bank on a modern day woman delighting on it, though some might.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No grammatical errors or spelling mistakes. Ever. Not even in text messages or emails.

I agree. Also, no horrid text abbreviations unless absolutely

Impeccable table manners, following proper etiquette, using correct grammar with eloquent diction and an extensive vocabulary all can unintentionally convey your status. Yes, this can be taught, but I'd say that it is taught in homes where there's great importance placed in these life skills and they are learned through example and experience.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Jotting quick notes to the teacher on properly monogrammed stationery.

RSVP'ing to a wedding on same rather than sending back the little "check fish or chicken" cards.

HA! I do this. Only because I hate those reply cards

I used to do this until my son's friend's mom said -- very sweetly-- that it screwed up her box of reply cards for kid's Bar Mitzvah.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Jotting quick notes to the teacher on properly monogrammed stationery.

RSVP'ing to a wedding on same rather than sending back the little "check fish or chicken" cards.

HA! I do this. Only because I hate those reply cards

I used to do this until my son's friend's mom said -- very sweetly-- that it screwed up her box of reply cards for kid's Bar Mitzvah.

I just write a sweet note on the back of the RSVP card unless I receive one without an RSVP card (which seems to not happen anymore).

[Anonymous]

organic milk.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Attractive spouse

Well, you HOPE it's an unintentional status symbol. I someone married you JUST for your looks, that would be awful.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:An immaculately kept 15-plus-year-old Mercedes or Audi. One buys nice things, but treats them well so they last a long time. If it doesn't have a CD player (let alone iPod/bluetooth connection), one must deal with it.

Going back to more mainstream unintentional status symbols:

... Genuine Hunter wellies (olive green, not leopard print or Georgetown Cupcake pink)
... Monogrammed cardstock stationery, and if you use it to thank a neighbor who handed down some old baby clothes to you
... If you google yourself and one of your first hits is your wedding announcement in the New York Times (no other paper counts)
... Ski or boat rack on your car roof
... High school ring not manufactured by Josten's (i.e., no large fake gem in the middle)

Yeah well, my sister's ring from Cathedral came from Josten's and my Sidwell ring (with an onyx stone) also came from Josten's so you know nothing.

Again the difference between "intentional" status symbol vs. "unintentional" status symbol. You went to Sidwell, they did not cover "new vs. old money" … sad, you should sue for your money back.

What are you even talking about…I don't think 1st PP knew that signet rings from elite schools do come from Josten's…whatever, you sound like a very small minded, barely have any meaningful values sort of garden variety grotesque, so, carry on.

This poster is the definition of doesn't get it.

Very Sidwellian.

gosh, you're all just too clever for me

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Coming back to the idea of simple and unintetional status symbols, I agree with "no make up" but in reality is not strident or exaggerated make up. Also well manicured hands (for women and man) and subtle colors: better if it is a simple gloss but never a french manicure (and don't even mention french pedicure) and long nails NEVER.
A nice simple leather bag, mostly leather shoes unless you are a vegetarian or pro-animal and buy vegan shoes a mooshoes.com. never wear snickers unless you are actually doing any kind of sports.
And the most important,
you speak more than one language.

Only a status symbol if your family is not from a country where that language is the main language spoken.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:An immaculately kept 15-plus-year-old Mercedes or Audi. One buys nice things, but treats them well so they last a long time. If it doesn't have a CD player (let alone iPod/bluetooth connection), one must deal with it.

Going back to more mainstream unintentional status symbols:

... Genuine Hunter wellies (olive green, not leopard print or Georgetown Cupcake pink)
... Monogrammed cardstock stationery, and if you use it to thank a neighbor who handed down some old baby clothes to you
... If you google yourself and one of your first hits is your wedding announcement in the New York Times (no other paper counts)
... Ski or boat rack on your car roof
... High school ring not manufactured by Josten's (i.e., no large fake gem in the middle)

Yeah well, my sister's ring from Cathedral came from Josten's and my Sidwell ring (with an onyx stone) also came from Josten's so you know nothing.

Again the difference between "intentional" status symbol vs. "unintentional" status symbol. You went to Sidwell, they did not cover "new vs. old money" … sad, you should sue for your money back.

What are you even talking about…I don't think 1st PP knew that signet rings from elite schools do come from Josten's…whatever, you sound like a very small minded, barely have any meaningful values sort of garden variety grotesque, so, carry on.

^ Yes, I'm the egregious Josten's poster. What I meant to say is my public high school ring (from Josten's) has a giant fake ruby in it and the generic National Honor Society logo on the side. My friends who went to posh privates have elegant signet-style rings with nice school crests. I'm grateful to the Sidwell/Cathedral family for showing me their brand of class.

I have that. From Stone Ridge. Also made by Josten's. The difference is the school design and price point, not the manufacturer.

PP, don't even respond to this moron.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:An immaculately kept 15-plus-year-old Mercedes or Audi. One buys nice things, but treats them well so they last a long time. If it doesn't have a CD player (let alone iPod/bluetooth connection), one must deal with it.

Going back to more mainstream unintentional status symbols:

... Genuine Hunter wellies (olive green, not leopard print or Georgetown Cupcake pink)
... Monogrammed cardstock stationery, and if you use it to thank a neighbor who handed down some old baby clothes to you
... If you google yourself and one of your first hits is your wedding announcement in the New York Times (no other paper counts)
... Ski or boat rack on your car roof
... High school ring not manufactured by Josten's (i.e., no large fake gem in the middle)

Yeah well, my sister's ring from Cathedral came from Josten's and my Sidwell ring (with an onyx stone) also came from Josten's so you know nothing.

Again the difference between "intentional" status symbol vs. "unintentional" status symbol. You went to Sidwell, they did not cover "new vs. old money" … sad, you should sue for your money back.

What are you even talking about…I don't think 1st PP knew that signet rings from elite schools do come from Josten's…whatever, you sound like a very small minded, barely have any meaningful values sort of garden variety grotesque, so, carry on.

This poster is the definition of doesn't get it.

PP, congratulations, you're ruining the thread with your idiotic comebacks. You are wrong; go away, stfu, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No grammatical errors or spelling mistakes. Ever. Not even in text messages or emails.

Nope, this is just anal. And a bit nouveau since s/he obviously cares too much.



Frankly, the truly old school old money folk don't text at all and keeps emailing to a minimal.

[Anonymous]

I went to private school and know hundreds of people who did as well. Not once have I ever seen any of them wear a class ring. I remember that Jostens would come to my school every year and not a single person would get a ring.