People with $1.2M+ homes and getting significant financial aid

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:at our school i know 2 stay at home moms who have older kids 6th grade + that get financial aid and make over 200k a year. get a damn job! they wear nice clothes and dive similar cars to the rest of the school.

So you know these women well? Know their family situations? Know for sure they have no physical or mental health disabilities, have no elderly parents or other dependents they spend hours caring for, have no home-based or part time business on the side, don’t buy knockoffs or second-hand clothes or used cars to save money? You must be pretty good friends to know their financial situations so intimately, but you’re so condescending and dismissive. Do you treat all your friends that way?

NP, but everyone has a mental health disorder or disability in 2024. Plenty of them work. Get over yourself.

I quit when my kid was born as they had health and other issues. They were in therapies for 10 years. During that time, for 6 years I cared for my mil with severe dementia at first in our home then a nursing home (there multiple times a week for doctors appointments, check in as the facility was terrible). Now I have my own health issues. I haven't worked in 12+ years so I'd have to start over and earn $60K a year max, not including hiring someone to drive my kids to activities (though they miss a lot due to health issues) and buy a car for that person which would probably be equal to my take home after taxes. So, is that really worth me working?

DP. I am sorry for your situation but you still have not justified why others should pay for your child's education? We have a slew of reasons why we should not work etc...

She doesn’t have to justify it to you, only to the school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:at our school i know 2 stay at home moms who have older kids 6th grade + that get financial aid and make over 200k a year. get a damn job! they wear nice clothes and dive similar cars to the rest of the school.

So you know these women well? Know their family situations? Know for sure they have no physical or mental health disabilities, have no elderly parents or other dependents they spend hours caring for, have no home-based or part time business on the side, don’t buy knockoffs or second-hand clothes or used cars to save money? You must be pretty good friends to know their financial situations so intimately, but you’re so condescending and dismissive. Do you treat all your friends that way?

NP, but everyone has a mental health disorder or disability in 2024. Plenty of them work. Get over yourself.

Your opinion of whether someone *should* work has no bearing on whether their health actually *allows* them to work.

DP. The thing is your mind set that there is this lot of money and some deserve to receive it via FA and others do not is what is mind boggling. Private school is a luxury and should be just that - a luxury. Noone is entitled to it. I support the idea of FA but some of these views are really off putting to me and make me question whether I actually want to pay money to support it anymore.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:at our school i know 2 stay at home moms who have older kids 6th grade + that get financial aid and make over 200k a year. get a damn job! they wear nice clothes and dive similar cars to the rest of the school.

So you know these women well? Know their family situations? Know for sure they have no physical or mental health disabilities, have no elderly parents or other dependents they spend hours caring for, have no home-based or part time business on the side, don’t buy knockoffs or second-hand clothes or used cars to save money? You must be pretty good friends to know their financial situations so intimately, but you’re so condescending and dismissive. Do you treat all your friends that way?

NP, but everyone has a mental health disorder or disability in 2024. Plenty of them work. Get over yourself.

Your opinion of whether someone *should* work has no bearing on whether their health actually *allows* them to work.

DP. The thing is your mind set that there is this lot of money and some deserve to receive it via FA and others do not is what is mind boggling. Private school is a luxury and should be just that - a luxury. Noone is entitled to it. I support the idea of FA but some of these views are really off putting to me and make me question whether I actually want to pay money to support it anymore.

I'm not sure what you are saying. OP is upset the "wrong" people are getting FA. If it's a luxury, then presumably no people should get FA, is that right?

Personally I don't think it's a luxury, I think the school is a business offering a service for a fee. Sometimes you can get a discount.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:at our school i know 2 stay at home moms who have older kids 6th grade + that get financial aid and make over 200k a year. get a damn job! they wear nice clothes and dive similar cars to the rest of the school.

So you know these women well? Know their family situations? Know for sure they have no physical or mental health disabilities, have no elderly parents or other dependents they spend hours caring for, have no home-based or part time business on the side, don’t buy knockoffs or second-hand clothes or used cars to save money? You must be pretty good friends to know their financial situations so intimately, but you’re so condescending and dismissive. Do you treat all your friends that way?

NP, but everyone has a mental health disorder or disability in 2024. Plenty of them work. Get over yourself.

Your opinion of whether someone *should* work has no bearing on whether their health actually *allows* them to work.

DP. The thing is your mind set that there is this lot of money and some deserve to receive it via FA and others do not is what is mind boggling. Private school is a luxury and should be just that - a luxury. Noone is entitled to it. I support the idea of FA but some of these views are really off putting to me and make me question whether I actually want to pay money to support it anymore.

It’s the luxury good itself that is deciding that some people get FA and some don’t. You don’t get to decide for the school how luxury it should be. Talk about entitlement.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:at our school i know 2 stay at home moms who have older kids 6th grade + that get financial aid and make over 200k a year. get a damn job! they wear nice clothes and dive similar cars to the rest of the school.

So you know these women well? Know their family situations? Know for sure they have no physical or mental health disabilities, have no elderly parents or other dependents they spend hours caring for, have no home-based or part time business on the side, don’t buy knockoffs or second-hand clothes or used cars to save money? You must be pretty good friends to know their financial situations so intimately, but you’re so condescending and dismissive. Do you treat all your friends that way?

NP, but everyone has a mental health disorder or disability in 2024. Plenty of them work. Get over yourself.

Your opinion of whether someone *should* work has no bearing on whether their health actually *allows* them to work.

DP. The thing is your mind set that there is this lot of money and some deserve to receive it via FA and others do not is what is mind boggling. Private school is a luxury and should be just that - a luxury. Noone is entitled to it. I support the idea of FA but some of these views are really off putting to me and make me question whether I actually want to pay money to support it anymore.

It’s the luxury good itself that is deciding that some people get FA and some don’t. You don’t get to decide for the school how luxury it should be. Talk about entitlement.

No but I and many others are reducing our donations to the school or designating it go to other things because we do not want to subsidize a life style or allow someone to work part time etc... while we work full time. That part we can control and others are as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:at our school i know 2 stay at home moms who have older kids 6th grade + that get financial aid and make over 200k a year. get a damn job! they wear nice clothes and dive similar cars to the rest of the school.

So you know these women well? Know their family situations? Know for sure they have no physical or mental health disabilities, have no elderly parents or other dependents they spend hours caring for, have no home-based or part time business on the side, don’t buy knockoffs or second-hand clothes or used cars to save money? You must be pretty good friends to know their financial situations so intimately, but you’re so condescending and dismissive. Do you treat all your friends that way?

NP, but everyone has a mental health disorder or disability in 2024. Plenty of them work. Get over yourself.

Your opinion of whether someone *should* work has no bearing on whether their health actually *allows* them to work.

DP. The thing is your mind set that there is this lot of money and some deserve to receive it via FA and others do not is what is mind boggling. Private school is a luxury and should be just that - a luxury. Noone is entitled to it. I support the idea of FA but some of these views are really off putting to me and make me question whether I actually want to pay money to support it anymore.

I'm not sure what you are saying. OP is upset the "wrong" people are getting FA. If it's a luxury, then presumably no people should get FA, is that right?

Personally I don't think it's a luxury, I think the school is a business offering a service for a fee. Sometimes you can get a discount.

A lot of people paying full tuition sacrifice a LOT to do so. They expect others to do the same if they are receiving FA. The issue is some submit to the school outrageous amounts of aid they would need to KEEP their current lifestyle with no sacrifice. That is not fair or cool. Private is a luxury if you do not make enough to pay for it then you should expect to really sacrificed to send your kid to a school that costs more than most Americans make in a year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:at our school i know 2 stay at home moms who have older kids 6th grade + that get financial aid and make over 200k a year. get a damn job! they wear nice clothes and dive similar cars to the rest of the school.

So you know these women well? Know their family situations? Know for sure they have no physical or mental health disabilities, have no elderly parents or other dependents they spend hours caring for, have no home-based or part time business on the side, don’t buy knockoffs or second-hand clothes or used cars to save money? You must be pretty good friends to know their financial situations so intimately, but you’re so condescending and dismissive. Do you treat all your friends that way?

NP, but everyone has a mental health disorder or disability in 2024. Plenty of them work. Get over yourself.

Your opinion of whether someone *should* work has no bearing on whether their health actually *allows* them to work.

DP. The thing is your mind set that there is this lot of money and some deserve to receive it via FA and others do not is what is mind boggling. Private school is a luxury and should be just that - a luxury. Noone is entitled to it. I support the idea of FA but some of these views are really off putting to me and make me question whether I actually want to pay money to support it anymore.

Pp you’re responding to, and I do not have a mindset that “some deserve to receive it via FA and some do not.” My mindset is that it is the school’s money and the school decides who they want to give it to. No one else’s opinions about worthiness or health status or HHI or any of the other stuff people have been bringing up have anything to do with it. The school decides.

My post that you responded to was a side point to the person who seems to think that because some people can work while having a physical or mental health issue, therefore everyone with a physical or mental health issue should be able to work, which is nonsense as well. And also still irrelevant because again, the school decides what to do with their FA dollars.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:at our school i know 2 stay at home moms who have older kids 6th grade + that get financial aid and make over 200k a year. get a damn job! they wear nice clothes and dive similar cars to the rest of the school.

So you know these women well? Know their family situations? Know for sure they have no physical or mental health disabilities, have no elderly parents or other dependents they spend hours caring for, have no home-based or part time business on the side, don’t buy knockoffs or second-hand clothes or used cars to save money? You must be pretty good friends to know their financial situations so intimately, but you’re so condescending and dismissive. Do you treat all your friends that way?

NP, but everyone has a mental health disorder or disability in 2024. Plenty of them work. Get over yourself.

Your opinion of whether someone *should* work has no bearing on whether their health actually *allows* them to work.

DP. The thing is your mind set that there is this lot of money and some deserve to receive it via FA and others do not is what is mind boggling. Private school is a luxury and should be just that - a luxury. Noone is entitled to it. I support the idea of FA but some of these views are really off putting to me and make me question whether I actually want to pay money to support it anymore.

Pp you’re responding to, and I do not have a mindset that “some deserve to receive it via FA and some do not.” My mindset is that it is the school’s money and the school decides who they want to give it to. No one else’s opinions about worthiness or health status or HHI or any of the other stuff people have been bringing up have anything to do with it. The school decides.

My post that you responded to was a side point to the person who seems to think that because some people can work while having a physical or mental health issue, therefore everyone with a physical or mental health issue should be able to work, which is nonsense as well. And also still irrelevant because again, the school decides what to do with their FA dollars.

Yes they do decide but the donors also get to decide whether they would like to donate or not. It goes both ways.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:at our school i know 2 stay at home moms who have older kids 6th grade + that get financial aid and make over 200k a year. get a damn job! they wear nice clothes and dive similar cars to the rest of the school.

So you know these women well? Know their family situations? Know for sure they have no physical or mental health disabilities, have no elderly parents or other dependents they spend hours caring for, have no home-based or part time business on the side, don’t buy knockoffs or second-hand clothes or used cars to save money? You must be pretty good friends to know their financial situations so intimately, but you’re so condescending and dismissive. Do you treat all your friends that way?

NP, but everyone has a mental health disorder or disability in 2024. Plenty of them work. Get over yourself.

Your opinion of whether someone *should* work has no bearing on whether their health actually *allows* them to work.

DP. The thing is your mind set that there is this lot of money and some deserve to receive it via FA and others do not is what is mind boggling. Private school is a luxury and should be just that - a luxury. Noone is entitled to it. I support the idea of FA but some of these views are really off putting to me and make me question whether I actually want to pay money to support it anymore.

Pp you’re responding to, and I do not have a mindset that “some deserve to receive it via FA and some do not.” My mindset is that it is the school’s money and the school decides who they want to give it to. No one else’s opinions about worthiness or health status or HHI or any of the other stuff people have been bringing up have anything to do with it. The school decides.

My post that you responded to was a side point to the person who seems to think that because some people can work while having a physical or mental health issue, therefore everyone with a physical or mental health issue should be able to work, which is nonsense as well. And also still irrelevant because again, the school decides what to do with their FA dollars.

Yes they do decide but the donors also get to decide whether they would like to donate or not. It goes both ways.

Of course. That’s why I and others making the same point have repeatedly said the choice is to find a school that aligns with your preferred FA distribution, not donate, or do a targeted donation to a program you *do* support.

It’s not complicated.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:at our school i know 2 stay at home moms who have older kids 6th grade + that get financial aid and make over 200k a year. get a damn job! they wear nice clothes and dive similar cars to the rest of the school.

So you know these women well? Know their family situations? Know for sure they have no physical or mental health disabilities, have no elderly parents or other dependents they spend hours caring for, have no home-based or part time business on the side, don’t buy knockoffs or second-hand clothes or used cars to save money? You must be pretty good friends to know their financial situations so intimately, but you’re so condescending and dismissive. Do you treat all your friends that way?

NP, but everyone has a mental health disorder or disability in 2024. Plenty of them work. Get over yourself.

Your opinion of whether someone *should* work has no bearing on whether their health actually *allows* them to work.

DP. The thing is your mind set that there is this lot of money and some deserve to receive it via FA and others do not is what is mind boggling. Private school is a luxury and should be just that - a luxury. Noone is entitled to it. I support the idea of FA but some of these views are really off putting to me and make me question whether I actually want to pay money to support it anymore.

I'm not sure what you are saying. OP is upset the "wrong" people are getting FA. If it's a luxury, then presumably no people should get FA, is that right?

Personally I don't think it's a luxury, I think the school is a business offering a service for a fee. Sometimes you can get a discount.

A lot of people paying full tuition sacrifice a LOT to do so. They expect others to do the same if they are receiving FA. The issue is some submit to the school outrageous amounts of aid they would need to KEEP their current lifestyle with no sacrifice. That is not fair or cool. Private is a luxury if you do not make enough to pay for it then you should expect to really sacrificed to send your kid to a school that costs more than most Americans make in a year.

I feel like what you're looking for is performative. You want to see other people struggle.

I love the private school my DD attends, and her ability to attend is important to me. We live modestly. But I am not going to sell our house to pay for school and the school does not expect me to. I am not going to get a second job, and the school does not expect me to. If that was actually necessary, DD simply wouldn't attend.

I don't think we're uniquely valuable to the school, but DD is an easy, accomplished kid and we pay 80% of the tuition: we're not a bad value for the cost of FA.

If you are really sacrificing a lot to attend at full pay, you should apply for aid too.

[Anonymous]

It’s wild to me when people get confused seeing people getting aid when they have a house or car worth x. People can have a change in circumstance or income, it doesn’t mean that you immediately downgrade everything you own and start dressing in rags.

[Anonymous]

FA was designed to get more POC in " rich white kid schools" ...it is not supposed to be for whites trying to beat the system dodging assets or being too lazy to work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:FA was designed to get more POC in " rich white kid schools" ...it is not supposed to be for whites trying to beat the system dodging assets or being too lazy to work.

It's not an anonymous process. The school knows who is receiving aid and they know where we live.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:FA was designed to get more POC in " rich white kid schools" ...it is not supposed to be for whites trying to beat the system dodging assets or being too lazy to work.

Source: nothing

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:at our school i know 2 stay at home moms who have older kids 6th grade + that get financial aid and make over 200k a year. get a damn job! they wear nice clothes and dive similar cars to the rest of the school.

So you know these women well? Know their family situations? Know for sure they have no physical or mental health disabilities, have no elderly parents or other dependents they spend hours caring for, have no home-based or part time business on the side, don’t buy knockoffs or second-hand clothes or used cars to save money? You must be pretty good friends to know their financial situations so intimately, but you’re so condescending and dismissive. Do you treat all your friends that way?

NP, but everyone has a mental health disorder or disability in 2024. Plenty of them work. Get over yourself.

Your opinion of whether someone *should* work has no bearing on whether their health actually *allows* them to work.

DP. The thing is your mind set that there is this lot of money and some deserve to receive it via FA and others do not is what is mind boggling. Private school is a luxury and should be just that - a luxury. Noone is entitled to it. I support the idea of FA but some of these views are really off putting to me and make me question whether I actually want to pay money to support it anymore.

I'm not sure what you are saying. OP is upset the "wrong" people are getting FA. If it's a luxury, then presumably no people should get FA, is that right?

Personally I don't think it's a luxury, I think the school is a business offering a service for a fee. Sometimes you can get a discount.

A lot of people paying full tuition sacrifice a LOT to do so. They expect others to do the same if they are receiving FA. The issue is some submit to the school outrageous amounts of aid they would need to KEEP their current lifestyle with no sacrifice. That is not fair or cool. Private is a luxury if you do not make enough to pay for it then you should expect to really sacrificed to send your kid to a school that costs more than most Americans make in a year.

I feel like what you're looking for is performative. You want to see other people struggle.

I love the private school my DD attends, and her ability to attend is important to me. We live modestly. But I am not going to sell our house to pay for school and the school does not expect me to. I am not going to get a second job, and the school does not expect me to. If that was actually necessary, DD simply wouldn't attend.

I don't think we're uniquely valuable to the school, but DD is an easy, accomplished kid and we pay 80% of the tuition: we're not a bad value for the cost of FA.

If you are really sacrificing a lot to attend at full pay, you should apply for aid too.

Of course it’s performative. Twenty-five pages of this thread and there’s been almost no evidence provided other than a handful of dubious anecdotes that can basically be summed up as “these people don’t look as poor as we think they should.”