Mentioning names...

[Anonymous]

Is it ok to mention names like this? http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/35799.page

[jsteele]

Humm, interesting question. I'd like to know what others think.

On the one hand, its only a first name and, as such, not fully identifying. But, I suppose a limited number of individuals with that name work at that particular store. The more intriguing aspect is that the name in question is associated with a particular ethnic group. I wonder if the name would have been included, or its inclusion would have generated any question, if such an association didn't exist?

Also, the worst the individual is being accused of is rudeness. My gut reaction is that it probably wasn't necessary to include the name, but its not that big of deal that it happened. Though, again, I'd be interested in other views.

[Anonymous]

Jeff, go ahead and remove the name then. I'm the one who posted it.

It was posted in the spirit of "Isn't this ridiculous?", truthfully not to target someone at the store (despite my later post, which was really a reaction to the blog police).

I certainly did NOT post the name with any thought that it's a "black" name. I can assure you I would have posted the same rant about Mindy or Shilpi or Fatima or Brooke or Eun.

[Anonymous]

jsteele wrote:Humm, interesting question. I'd like to know what others think.

On the one hand, its only a first name and, as such, not fully identifying. But, I suppose a limited number of individuals with that name work at that particular store. The more intriguing aspect is that the name in question is associated with a particular ethnic group. I wonder if the name would have been included, or its inclusion would have generated any question, if such an association didn't exist?

Also, the worst the individual is being accused of is rudeness. My gut reaction is that it probably wasn't necessary to include the name, but its not that big of deal that it happened. Though, again, I'd be interested in other views.

Although I associated the name with an african american, I didn't really get the idea that op meant in that way. It only worries me (a little tiny bit) because in this economy and how usually those kind of employees are very dispensable to big companies, that this woman can even be fired because of this thread - if someone mentions to the store manager for instance? I might be exptrapolating too much here, but I think it's a possible risk.

[maynie]

I sure the named individual would be upset to read this thread, but then again she shouldn't be rude to people. She works in a store that requires her to wear a nametag identifying herself to the public. The company obviously wants accountability for its employees or they wouldn't make them wear nametags.
Would she want her name being used if someone was commending exceptional service?

[Anonymous]

Do unto others as you would have them do to you. That's my thought. I wouldn't want someone trash talking me on a public forum, identifying my name and ethnic group, along with where I work.

Actually, I do not understand why it is necessary to mention someone's ethnic group unless: you're filing a crime report. If the guy's white, just say so. It narrows the field and is not racist. Also, if you're trying to set someone up on a date. Sexual preference is sexual preference, and if someone would prefer not to date anyone from England -- well -- I think they should have that information when deciding whether to accept the date.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do unto others as you would have them do to you. That's my thought. I wouldn't want someone trash talking me on a public forum, identifying my name and ethnic group, along with where I work.

Actually, I do not understand why it is necessary to mention someone's ethnic group unless: you're filing a crime report. If the guy's white, just say so. It narrows the field and is not racist. Also, if you're trying to set someone up on a date. Sexual preference is sexual preference, and if someone would prefer not to date anyone from England -- well -- I think they should have that information when deciding whether to accept the date.

Who mentioned an ethnic group? I said her name. I then said I was fine if Jeff xxx'd it and he did (maybe he would have anyway). I don't know how that makes me racist.

Basically, I said xxx because the story is funnier if you say the name. "So then, Betty yells at me about not having my chicken. Then Betty's supervisor yells 'Hold on' to me." It didn't occur to me that I was trash talking her because...well I guess I didn't really think that this person was really a part of anyone's social sphere. It's not like I am saying, "I know a certain mom at Horace Mann, Naomi, who is the rudest person on earth." I said the name of the checker at Giant. But I understand that was thoughtless. And I don't want her losing her job. At least not because of word of mouth.

[Anonymous]

Jeff said that the most intriguing aspect was that the name was associated with a certain ethnic group. I went back and read the thread and couldn't find the name, or a reference to an ethnic group. He asked for people's points of view on naming someone in a thread, particularly when their name is associated with a certain ethic group. So I offered my views.

[Anonymous]

Two things:

1. Beings stripped of your privacy seems a disproportionate punishment for rudeness.

2. Just because the OP didn't mean it that way doesn't mean other people won't take it that way.

In my opinion it's irresponsible to post a person's name when the person can be easily identified. You never know who's reading. What if someone went down to the Giant to give XXXX a piece of their mind or to heckle her. Stranger things have happened. I would not want to be responsible for that.

[Anonymous]

I say it's not okay to mention the name when you're not posting your own name. I don't think it was wrong to mention the Giant location or the situation, just the person's name. We're only getting one side of the story. I'm not saying the OP was making it up, or exaggerating, or anything like that. I'm just saying we don't know. Maybe this woman had the worst day of her life the day before. Or maybe she's just horribly rude and doesn't care. Either way, we don't know. If you complain to the company, they can assess all that and decide if they need to take action.

I would not want someone to anonymously accuse me of something in a public forum like this website, and not be able to find out who did it. Even though a last name was not used, it wouldn't be hard to figure out who the person is when their exact place of work is also mentioned. The person accused of rudeness, is after all, a real person. If her name is going to be publicly trashed, I think she's got a right to know who is trashing it. Especially if you're just posting it to be "funny."