It seems to be a good day for these ![]() My in laws are in town to supposedly help with the baby so we can get some rest except that yesterday they slept until 8:30am which was precisely the time I had to leave for work. So instead of handing off the sick baby so we could get ready in peace and have time for breakfast yesterday, they slept in and we had to scramble. And they definitely heard us, the guest room is directly under ours and we have the creakiest floors ever. You can hear everything in our house. Then this morning, they know baby and I are both sick, I'm sure they heard her cry when she woke up, but they are MIA. And instead of staying the weekend to help DH out with his sick wife and baby, they are heading home because they HAVE to go to church tomorrow. And DH is just too nice to wake them up or ask them to stay. If it were my parents, I would wake them up (although they probably would come up on their own) and ask them to stay longer (they would have stayed the whole weekend anyway). And DH wonders why I want to move to live closer to my parents instead of his!! I can't ask my in laws to stay longer if DH won't, right? They like me, but I don't think I could do it without sounding demanding. |
Is the baby in the hospital? Do you have other kids? Something tells me the answer is no.
You were well enough to go to work, so clearly you're not on your deathbed. From what you wrote, you sound kind of entitled. Parents deal with sick babies all the time. It's the weekend. Your husband isn't sick. You will all be fine and don't need your parents or his parents to get you through it. Really. |
My point is that they said they came to help but they've done nothing to help. You may think I sound entitled but clearly you also don't understand the whole "it takes a village" mentality. |
OP, sounds like they're not helpful. You should be glad they're leaving. And no, I would not ask them if I were you. Seems like their idea of helping and your idea of helping are different.
Feel better! |
The village would be nice but you don't need it and you aren't entitled to it. I'm raising two babies with no village. It can easily be done.....especially if you only have one. |
Op,sounds like their versipn of helping out and being part of the village is watching baby while you are at work? Did you tell them you needed them to get up when the baby got up? Sorry but you do sound entitled and clueless.
DS and i are visiting my parents right now while DH is on a business trip (ive been sick for 2 weeks and couldnt take care of DS alone). He was up all night puking. My parents have done what they can to help, but in the end, im the mom. Which is why im up after only having 3 hrs of sleep amd my parents are still sleeping. But they will help me this afternoon when they are rested and able to handle the baby. |
Why can't your husband take care of the baby today? |
i think its hard when the two sides of the family have different versions of helping.
when my parents came to visit after the baby was born it was like a team of cinderellas helping us get things done because baby showed up a month early and we had a lot to do. my in laws didn't show up until a month or so after the baby was born and we needed to run to one store and the grocery store and my mil acted like we were never going to have enough time to get everything done. they didn't help clean or cook. i also think its easier to ask your own parents for things than it is for you to ask in laws, unless you are really bonded and close with the in laws. so i can imagine as you sit there sick with a sick baby, it is hard to not compare how much more help you would have received if your parents had been the ones in town instead of your in laws. i try to focus on the things that my in laws do that my parents don't when i am frustrated in a situation like yours. although, it is not easy and i am not always successful! |
I feel really sorry for the people here who don't have families who help them out. Perhaps its a cultural thing, but I'm Indian and my parents would drop everything to come help if I was sick or needed them for something. |
OK, if they are here specifically to help out, did you specifically tell them when and how you need the help? Otherwise how would they know? |
Your children are your responsibility. It never occurred to me to adk my parents or inlaws to visit so they were my babysitters. If I needed help, I paid someone. Your family is not your bloody servant, OP. Furthermore, OP, you sound like a PITA . No wonder they left early. |
Not sure it's a cultural thing. I'm Indian as well, and I would feel pretty bad being a grown adult, and asking my parents to still help me out. They already paid their dues. At some point, the roles switch and you've gotta start dropping things to help care and take care of your parents. |
This. Maybe the parents do want to catch what you have. Let it go. We depend on no one and when we do get help I thank my lucky stars. And grow up. You have ONE baby. |
Not |
I feel for you OP. My MIL does this sort of thing all the time. I've learned to accept it. |